How you do’in?

16 Jul

Friends and loved one ask “how you are doing”, they ask it in the most sincere way they can and they ask it truly wanting to know.  But, your love ones and friends also know the answer, they are living it with you, maybe not to the same depth, but they see it day in and day out. They acknowledge your illness daily, they hear you cough, they see you gasp, they watch as you try and catch a breath, they trip over your oxygen tubing, they see the effort you have to put forth to walk down the driveway without oxygen support, and they love you anyway.

Because they are being polite and sincere I answer in the same manner.  All of my close friends know when I go into the hospital, when I come home and a lot of them know the schedule I have for seeing my doctors, after a hospital stay.  So it would be rude and disrespectful if I were not somewhat honest.  Very rarely do I go into all the gory details, I cover the high or low points and move on.  Some want to know more, so they ask, and I give more complete answers.

I am so glad they ask, it really helps sometimes to share, and I know it’s not falling on deaf ears.  And everytime they ask I quietly thank them.


Posted by on July 16, 2012 in Ramblings


7 responses to “How you do’in?

  1. Wanda

    July 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

    And you, my friend, are handling all this with tremendous dignity and grace. You certainly haven’t let this illness make you self-centered, even though many of us would understand if it did. I hope this day is a good one!

  2. huntmode

    December 8, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    I need to think more on this, Bill. As I live alone, I tend to resist going into any detail when on the phone or via email. I think, “It’ll pass. Why get ’em started?”

    You and I meet in 2013 because of Paulette’s pointer to your blog and it may have been that same day or earlier that I wrote what turned into a 9 part series that mentioned the COPD. I was surprised to hear from friends who read it that they were shocked and was I okay and did I need anything and they hadn’t known it was so bad. All surprising to me because I think I am doing pretty well, but from their healthy standpoint, it shocked ’em to even hear I might have been experiencing moments or days when it is tough to breathe. Rambling here – meant to say your post has struck a note and I shall try for more consciousness. Thank you. HuntMode

    • FlaHam

      December 8, 2013 at 6:48 pm

      Hunt, To say I am an open book would be quite an understatement. I was more reserved about personal matters years ago, but illness sometimes opens a person up, right or wrong. In my case I decided to fight COPD as hard as I could, and to be an advocate as best I could. To do this I needed to be open and honest, I am truly trying that now, and some folks with COPD really appreciate me saying what they want to say. Anyway that’s a long way to go to say, I am now an open person. I will yap about me and my disease, until the end. Take care, Bill

      • huntmode

        December 8, 2013 at 7:29 pm

        Love your yapping and your rap, Bill. See I can be “cool.” Grinning.

        • FlaHam

          December 8, 2013 at 9:25 pm

          Hunt,, Trust me you were cool long before you came into my world. Take care, Bill

          • huntmode

            December 8, 2013 at 9:37 pm

            Would that it were so, Bill. What they said was, “You’re different…” Grin. I’ve come to appreciate that.

            • FlaHam

              December 8, 2013 at 9:58 pm

              Hunt, I have known a bunch of “differen” folks since forever. They are good folks too. take care, Bill


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