When I started writing my blog I had a purpose. It was talk about COPD, to increase awareness of COPD, to open a forum for those with COPD to comment, and to rally support for those who suffer from COPD. It was also going to be a place where I could vent and describe how I felt on any given day. In addition, it was my intent to use the blog as a place I could dump all the negative feeling I have when I think about being terminal.
If you haven’t already figured it out, I have a terminal disease, COPD. When I ask my doctor how long I have he will say 3 to 5 years because there are so many variables involved. I can live with that, because I am wise enough to know I might last 20 more years, or only 20 months, but mostly likely it will be a spot in between. The single biggest drawback to having a terminal disease is that no matter what, you always know you’re not going to last as long as you want, and that the clock is always ticking. But for sake of day-to-day planning I am planning on being here for 20 more years. For the sake of this blog I am going with anywhere in between…..
On 9/24/12 I wrote a blog about my writing process. It was a fun and factual document that outlined how I wrote, and what I wrote about. It stated some simple facts. This posting drew three comments, but one of those comments was critical, in a most positive way. The lady who made that comment is someone I admire, someone who I respect, who herself is a teacher, and Department Head, and has Master’s Degree (which I helped to finance). She is my daughter, and I love her dearly. But the reality is she is right. She made the point that while I started off writing about COPD, that I had reached a point where my thoughts on COPD “were out there,” and now I was writing because I liked it and not really because I had anything more to preach about COPD at this point. I will be clear I have more to say about COPD, and I will continue to write posts that deal only with that subject. But otherwise my daughter is correct I need to redefine a purpose for my writing.
I have decided that the purpose of my blog (besides my COPD forum) will be for the enlightenment and entertainment of my granddaughter, at some point in the future. I am dedicated to sharing as much about myself as I can, so as she grows older, she has a foundation from which to fill in the gaps in her memory of me (besides that which her mom tells her of course). She is 7 going on 13 sometimes. She is the light of my life, and a wonderful little person. Yes she is spoiled, and yes I had a part in it, but her mom and dad are the real culprits. When the timing is right this will be a way for her to learn more about me after I have gone. It will be a way for me to share my life with her, to express my views on aspects of my life, and to recount stories for her, as well as, continuing to be a part of her life. Thru the blog I will be sharing with the reader, episodes from the adventures that my granddaughter and I have or had together. In addition the readers will get to learn even more about me (than they wanted to know). I will recount stories of watching her as she grew before my eyes. Of course I will also tell stories on her mom and dad. Give her a bit of gossip and dirt that she can share. I will include as much of my family history as I can recall. And of course I will be telling her a ton of stories on myself, my successes and my failures, things that have made me happy and things that haven’t. I will also share things about her grandmother but not so much as to get me bitten. Also there won’t be anything hurtful or mean. Clearly not everything will go into the Blog, there are just some things that don’t belong here.
Of course I will continue with my ramblings, my observations and my rants. Sometimes those are just necessary, and when you find you have a bone to pick, you do it.
As always your comments, thoughts even suggestions are welcome.