I have great friends, friends that are more than willing to provide direction and recommendations as to what I should write by blog about, and lucky for me they have provided some good recommendations recently.
Relationship as defined by Dictionary.com is 1. a connection, association, or involvement. 2. Connection between persons by blood or marriage. 3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students. 4. the dictionary nr 4 has no bearing, so I won’t even include it in this post.
Today I will talk about my relationship with my granddaughter. Clearly this is going to be from my perspective, because Cari isn’t sitting here with me giving me guidance, direction and instructions, like most of the other females in my life. I could sum this up very quickly and go empty the dishwasher by saying it is a work in progress, but rarely do I write anything quickly.
My granddaughter is 7 ½ years old and I am 63 years old. That by itself, could sum up the relationship quite well, but in reality it doesn’t. Our relationship is quite complex, it has depth, it has trust, and most importantly it’s full of love.
Cari understands that grandpa is sick, but she isn’t aware of how sick. She understands grandpa can’t and doesn’t run around and jump and stuff like that, but she knows she can play other things with grandpa, she will bowl with grandpa on the WII, and race cars on the XBOX and play cards at the kitchen table. She will paint the driveway, with chalk as grandpa encourages her to get wild. She knows to come to grandpa when she wants to watch a movie at grandpa’s house (because grandpa knows how to make the DVR’s work, and knows where all the kids channels are), and she will and does sit and cuddle with grandpa when she is tired. Cari will sit in my office with one of her many many stuffed friends, and watch TV as grandpa sits at the computer writing his blog. And rarely does she complain. Cari borrows her mom’s phone to call grandpa just to say HI. Yet having said all that, she is 7 ½ and she has the responsibilities of that age group. She baits me, she finds that last nerve and twists it, like an expert. She is even rude and inconsiderate from time to time, but in her defense she is 7 ½. Cari is a wonderful little lady. She makes me happy! This is just a partial list of Cari’s many attributes. It doesn’t say anything really, or maybe it says mountains, about our relationship. I will get to that shortly.
Here is a short list to what I bring to the relationship table. I will take Cari shopping in a heartbeat and replace her entire wardrobe. I will make weird noises with my mouth and she tries to copy them, I play sit-on-me very well, we both enjoy playing who farted as we giggle, I will cut up her chicken, and make the peanut butter and jelly sandwich following her directions. I always have juice boxes in the frig, and there is always a fruit cup there as well. I drive with sunroof open so she can enjoy the brightness of the day. I will give her a stern look when she doesn’t listen. I also yell at her if she is on the pool deck alone for more than 30 seconds. I read to her and she reads to me. I always ask for a hug, and pout when I don’t get a kiss. But as I said above this is just a short list of things I do for and with Cari. It doesn’t speak at all to our relationship. And without Cari’s input it is hard for me to say all the things that I do that get on her last nerve. Though I am sure it is an extensive list.
Cari’s and my relationship is based on complete and total Love. As I said earlier it is a work in progress. Our relationship is about the fact that we both have extremely short memories, so we can be mad one minute, and back to love the next. Our relationship is about growing and developing. We have a connection that I hope is shared by many a grandfather and granddaughter. We live close enough that we get to share many a wonderful event and far enough away that we don’t become overly used to one another. It’s still very special to come and visit, and when she does she still rushes into the house.
The bond between a granddaughter and grandfather is indeed special, you see it all the time, you see it at the mall, you see it at the movies, you see it at restaurants and in a million other situations. It is displayed in the public forum as you see it depicted in many a commercial and you see it all the time in print ads. And this relationship is always special in every TV show you see. There is a reason for that and it’s because the relationship is special. And I suspect that the relationship between grandma and granddaughter is equally special as well.
When I started this I wanted to be careful that I didn’t make light of the relationship, the connection, the bond, and I believe I have done so. It was a lot more difficult to write about this relationship, to try and address the intangibles, to put measure on the mutual benefits, and to describe it an honest manner. I truly hope I met the challenge.
As always your thoughts, comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. – Bill
PS: As I wrote this I came to the realization that because of my situation, I most likely wouldn’t be here to watch Cari grow and mature, that I would miss a lot of the upcoming happenings and events in her life and world. I can say without reservation I regret that.