My Relationship with my Granddaughter…..

23 Mar

I have great friends, friends that are more than willing to provide direction and recommendations as to what I should write by blog about, and lucky for me they have provided some good recommendations recently.

Relationship as defined by  is 1. a connection, association, or involvement. 2. Connection between persons by blood or marriage. 3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.  4. the dictionary nr 4 has no bearing, so I won’t even include it in this post.

Today I will talk about my relationship with my granddaughter.  Clearly this is going to be from my perspective, because Cari isn’t sitting here with me giving me guidance, direction and instructions, like most of the other females in my life.  I could sum this up very quickly and go empty the dishwasher by saying it is a work in progress, but rarely do I write anything quickly.

My granddaughter is 7 ½ years old and I am 63 years old.  That by itself, could sum up the relationship quite well, but in reality it doesn’t.  Our relationship is quite complex, it has depth, it has trust, and most importantly it’s full of love.

Cari understands that grandpa is sick, but she isn’t aware of how sick.  She understands grandpa can’t and doesn’t run around and jump and stuff like that, but she knows she can play other things with grandpa, she will bowl with grandpa on the WII, and race cars on the XBOX and play cards at the kitchen table.  She will paint the driveway, with chalk as grandpa encourages her to get wild. She knows to come to grandpa when she wants to watch a movie at grandpa’s house (because grandpa knows how to make the DVR’s work, and knows where all the kids channels are), and she will and does sit and cuddle with grandpa when she is tired.  Cari will sit in my office with one of her many many stuffed friends, and watch TV as grandpa sits at the computer writing his blog.  And rarely does she complain.  Cari borrows her mom’s phone to call grandpa just to say HI. Yet having said all that, she is 7 ½ and she has the responsibilities of that age group.  She baits me, she finds that last nerve and twists it, like an expert.  She is even rude and inconsiderate from time to time, but in her defense she is 7 ½. Cari is a wonderful little lady.  She makes me happy! This is just a partial list of Cari’s many attributes. It doesn’t say anything really, or maybe it says mountains, about our relationship.  I will get to that shortly.

Here is a short list to what I bring to the relationship table.  I will take Cari shopping in a heartbeat and replace her entire wardrobe.  I will make weird noises with my mouth and she tries to copy them, I play sit-on-me very well, we both enjoy playing who farted as we giggle, I will cut up her chicken, and make the peanut butter and jelly sandwich following her directions.  I always have juice boxes in the frig, and there is always a fruit cup there as well.  I drive with sunroof open so she can enjoy the brightness of the day.  I will give her a stern look when she doesn’t listen.  I also yell at her if she is on the pool deck alone for more than 30 seconds. I read to her and she reads to me. I always ask for a hug, and pout when I don’t get a kiss.  But as I said above this is just a short list of things I do for and with Cari.  It doesn’t speak at all to our relationship.  And without Cari’s input it is hard for me to say all the things that I do that get on her last nerve.  Though I am sure it is an extensive list.

Cari’s and my relationship is based on complete and total Love.  As I said earlier it is a work in progress. Our relationship is about the fact that we both have extremely short memories, so we can be mad one minute, and back to love the next.  Our relationship is about growing and developing. We have a connection that I hope is shared by many a grandfather and granddaughter.  We live close enough that we get to share many a wonderful event and far enough away that we don’t become overly used to one another.  It’s still very special to come and visit, and when she does she still rushes into the house.

The bond between a granddaughter and grandfather is indeed special, you see it all the time, you see it at the mall, you see it at the movies, you see it at restaurants and in a million other situations.  It is displayed in the public forum as you see it depicted in many a commercial and you see it all the time in print ads.  And this relationship is always special in every TV show you see.  There is a reason for that and it’s because the relationship is special.  And I suspect that the relationship between grandma and granddaughter is equally special as well.

When I started this I wanted to be careful that I didn’t make light of the relationship, the connection, the bond, and I believe I have done so.  It was a lot more difficult to write about this relationship, to try and address the intangibles, to put measure on the mutual benefits, and to describe it an honest manner.  I truly hope I met the challenge.

As always your thoughts, comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated.  – Bill

PS:   As I wrote this I came to the realization that because of my situation, I most likely wouldn’t be here to watch Cari grow and mature, that I would miss a lot of the upcoming happenings and events in her life and world.  I can say without reservation I regret that.



Posted by on March 23, 2013 in Observations, Ramblings


Tags: , , , , , ,

20 responses to “My Relationship with my Granddaughter…..

  1. rebecca2000

    March 23, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    My mother had COPD. I haven’t told you about that. She passed almost two years ago. But just know, she lived to be 80. She told me when my daughter was little that she was worried about the same thing. Then my son was born and she didn’t get excited because she didn’t think he would remember her. But my daughter is almost 10 when she passed. I was glad they knew each other.

    • FlaHam

      March 24, 2013 at 4:53 am

      Rebecca, Thank you for your sweet note, I hadn’t known what took your mom, and I am sorry it was this. I truly understand why she fretted. And that is in part why I fret today. I hope I have until 80, but the indications are significantly less than that. But I keep chugging along. I love writing my blog, and hope that someday Cari will have a copy of my writing on the shelf so she can read them and go “oh grandpa.” Take care and have a wonderful Sunday. Bill

  2. jmgoyder

    March 23, 2013 at 11:02 pm

    Oh this is so heartwarming!

    • FlaHam

      March 24, 2013 at 5:11 am

      Julie, Soft smile, it was one of the more difficult posts I have done. She is very special to me. Please take care, Bill

  3. DeeDee Granata

    March 24, 2013 at 7:47 am

    This is a wonderful post! I’m really glad you share so much so well.

    • FlaHam

      March 24, 2013 at 11:34 am

      DeeDee, Sweetie it has been a while since we last shared words. Thank you so much for your sweet comment. I hope your well, and feeling great. Please take care, Bill

  4. Wanda

    March 24, 2013 at 10:12 am

    I’m enjoying the mental image of the two of you snuggled up on the couch. This is the stuff of memories for sure! And per your comment above, she’s probably already saying “oh, grandpa” sometimes with laughter, sometimes with exasperation, but always with the love and respect you deserve.

    • FlaHam

      March 24, 2013 at 11:33 am

      Wanda, Soft smile, thank you for your sweet comments. This topic was one of the most difficult I have written about. Usually I can be the jokester and flippant when I write, but this didn’t lend itself to that as much as some of the other stuff I have written. Also years from now when Cari rereads this I want her to realize how sincere I was when I wrote it. Please take care, Bill

  5. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

    March 24, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Wonderful post. I love love love that you took the time to really tell us about this beautiful relationship from both perspectives, so real, so full of love, fun, all of what it is to be human and experience the best of the human condition. It’s such a gift to be a fly on the wall in your life. Thank you so much! Paulette 🙂

    • FlaHam

      March 24, 2013 at 11:30 am

      Paulette, Thank you for offering the suggestion for the post. Surprisingly enough this post was one of the most difficult I have written. The words were all in my heart, and I a terrible time getting them out and flowing in the manner I wanted. Your encouragement means volumes and volumes to me, and I really appreciate your comments. Please take care, Bill

      • The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

        March 24, 2013 at 12:14 pm

        I completely understand. Sometimes it’s it what’s in our hearts that is so hard to express. After all, words are not the love itself and the experience they are mere pointers (representations). Trust me when I say you write and point beautifully. It all resonates so authentically with me and from what others write them as well. I love reading what you have to say. My life is richer since you became my friend. Paulette 🙂

  6. Paula

    March 25, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    Bill you truly a blessed man with your family
    God bless

    • FlaHam

      March 26, 2013 at 7:49 am

      Paula, thank you for you very kind remark. Yes I am truly to have the family I have, and also blessed by those who have graced me with their friendship. Please take care, Bill

  7. Squirt

    March 26, 2013 at 1:46 am

    This is really sweet, Dad. It’s nice to see that you’re as introspective as you are about her… and you understand that she isn’t perfect. Love you.

  8. Laurel

    April 7, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Super post Bill! Well said an obviously full of love!

    • FlaHam

      April 17, 2013 at 7:09 pm

      Laurel, I overlooked your comment last week, and I do apologize, but I did want to thank you for your kind words. Please take care, Bill

  9. Courtney @ things we said today

    April 17, 2013 at 6:55 pm

    I think it is very important that you are continuing this strong relationship with your granddaughter. She will cherish all of those memories for the rest of her life. I miss my grandfathers dearly, but I smile every time I think of them. Thank you for sharing!

    • FlaHam

      April 17, 2013 at 7:05 pm

      Courtney, I am glad you got such a positive charge from reading this post. My relationship with my granddaughter is so very important to me because I won’t be here when she is older. And thru writing this blog and saving the posts, she will know all about me. Again thank you for taking the time to comment. Please take care, Bill

  10. jalal michael sabbagh.

    April 20, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Wonderful to read such heart warming post Bill.thank you for liking my about .Blessings and regards.jalal


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