How I Feel for the Week ending 3.07.14……

08 Mar

I am beginning this weeks’ report at 1pm and I know I will have a ton of interruptions between now and when I finish, so I can’t nor will I say this will be complete by COB today.  Music will be brought to you today courtesy of Nickelback, truly one of my go to bands. Because of the known numerous breaks I will have today, the music selections and bands will be changing of course I will keep you updated. BTW I have 44 Nickelback songs on my IPOD, so I doubt if I run out.

Last week after I hymned and hulled I gave the week a 2.5.  I feel that is still an appropriate rating for this week so for those keeping score this week is a 2.5.  There has been no significant forward movement, and rather than just change the scale, I will keep the rating. The coughing has all but stopped with just time a day were it is a major factor and when I cough it is not productive. As ugly and nasty as it sounds the best cough for a person with COPD is a gut retching deep nasty cough that is super productive.  Smiling when I cough like that I am bragging not complaining.  Last week I complained about barely holding my own.  Even with such little progress I am managing to hold my own.

Let get the vitals out-of-the-way for the week ending 03/07/14

INR = 2.6 taken 02/24/14 — next check 3/17/14

O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 92/93 taken numerous times this week

BP 122/74 = taken 03/05/14

Heart rate = 99 taken 03/05/14

Temp = 97.6 taken 03/05/14

Weight = 272 taken 03/07/14 – that’s 2 lbs less than last week HOORAY

There has been only a slight change in my medicines.  I am no longer using Cefepime via IV so the Mediport has been cleaned and is now back in standby mode. -–interruption 1 —  Still working Nickelback.  LMAO I wonder what the guys in Nickelback think should they hear that one of their biggest fans is a 64 year old fart.  Who really listens to and loves the lyrics.

This week I had appointments with both Doc Infectious and Doc Lungs.  It seems that whatever bug I have that is currently managing to crap in my lungs is now at bay, at least for the time being.  The normal cracklings, gurgling, and other unique noises my lungs make aren’t nearly so bad this week. The extremely shortness of breath is being attributed to the worsening of my COPD, (brought on by the last exacerbation) and this is expected.  It is really part of the process of being ill. Do I like it when my doctors concur that the disease is winning, of course not, but folks it is what it is. And again the process mandates this is to be expected. Sidebar note, if you get a chance listen (closely) to Nickelback’s “Kiss it Goodbye.” Additional sidebar, maybe bragging about liking this song in this part of my report was inappropriate, but’s a great song that happens to be playing now. Both Doc Lungs and Doc Infectious are realistic men, their staffs are realistic, but most importantly they have my best interests at heart.  We are staying the course they feel is in my best interests.  But with any condition or disease you must be prepared for changes in condition and direction.  That’s a long way of saying I was expecting the SOB to get worst, and I am somewhat prepared.

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect.  I have gone thru about 15 Nickelback songs in a row, many I have heard dozens of time, and I am still enjoying it, but as we move into the word or phrase of the week phase of my report, I believe I will listen to Jimi Hendrix for a bit.

The word I have chosen for this week is “Support.”  As with last week the definition is being taken from the Dictionary.  I will be providing an edited version of the word, but you can go to the link below to get the “complete” definition.

As defined at

1 sup·port  transitive verb \sə-ˈpȯrt\ : to agree with or approve of (someone or something),  to show that you approve of (someone or something) by doing something,  to give help or assistance to (someone or something)

Full Definition of SUPPORT— 1:  to endure bravely or quietly : 2a (1) :  to promote the interests or cause of (2) :  to uphold or defend as valid or right :  advocate <supports fair play> (3) :  to argue or vote for <supported the motion to lower taxes> b (1) :  assist, help <bombers supported the ground troops> (2) :  to act with (a star actor) (3) :  to bid in bridge so as to show support for c :  to provide with substantiation :  corroborate <support an alibi> 3 a :  to pay the costs of :  maintain <support a family>  b :  to provide a basis for the existence or subsistence of <the island could probably support three — A. B. C. Whipple> <support a habit> 4 a :  to hold up or serve as a foundation or prop for b :  to maintain (a price) at a desired level by purchases or loans; also :  to maintain the price of by purchases or loans 5:  to keep from fainting, yielding, or losing courage :  comfort 6 :  to keep (something) going

2 support  noun : the act of showing that you believe that someone or something is good or acceptable : approval of someone or something : the act of helping someone by giving love, encouragement, etc. : help that is given in the form of money or other valuable things

Full Definition of SUPPORT  1a :  the act or process of supporting :  the condition of being supported b :  assistance provided by a company to users of its products <customer support> 2 :  one that supports —often used attributively support staff> 3 :  sufficient strength in a suit bid by one’s partner in bridge to justify raising the suit.

Buckets Loads
Bucket Loads

I got this card in the mail this afternoon, isn’t surprising the timing of things.  I was writing about support, and guess what, I got a bucket load.  I have no idea who Liam is, but I can’t thank him enough.  It proves you never know when or how support will find you.

It is now 730am on the morning of March 8th, so clearly I didn’t make the self-imposed COB deadline, though I did listen to some Hendrix last night.  I have been thru my morning meds process, I have nebulized the stuff that makes my beard sticky and glues my eye lashes together, so thru squinty eyes I am working to complete this post.  I have chores today, and I must watch the UofL vs UConn basketball game at 2pm EST.  I am just saying this may end up a weekend report. Imagine all the extra music you will hear me talk about.  To fire my butt up, and to really get my motor running we are starting the day with some AC/DC.

Folks isn’t support a wonderful word.  It is far reaching, and has thousands of applications, it can be big or little, it can be a word or a million bucks.  Support will allow itself to be what you YOU, need it to be.  Support can come from millions of directions, some expected some totally unexpected.   But as wonderful as it is, one of the most difficult aspects of support is realizing when YOU need it.  And friends don’t be offended with me saying YOU, when we know I really mean ME.  But it does also apply to YOU as well.

Support will be one of the key cornerstones on how we progress through our illness.  It will come in stages, and you will find it in many places. It will not be a bad thing to knowledge that you need some support.  You will see support in many ways; spiritual, physical, that quiet moment, the guiding hand, a smile or look even direction.  It will come from people you know and trust, to complete strangers and all points in between. As your disease progresses you will find the smile you get from the nurses aid to be a bit more genuine, their touch a little softer, you’re doctor or team of doctors will  be there for you, clearly with your best interest at heart.  At your pharmacy, the pharmacist’s smile is a touch warmer and maybe the service a touch faster.  The clerk at the grocery store will unload your basket with a genuine smile on their face. Unexpected people will open doors for you. The neighbor will drag your trash bin back to your garage and not even take credit. And this takes place in the beginning, and will grow from there.  For the longest of times I have tried to man up and do it all myself, standing my ground refusing any and all support and help.  But folks as it gets more difficult you can’t do it all yourself.  And as I have done you will find graceful ways to accept the support you get.  I also suspect the further the disease progresses the more willing and graceful I will be in accepting both support and help.  I write this to suggest that you think about this as well.  The folks offering their support and help are doing because they care, it is not being done out of pity.  Try to remember that.   Yes sometimes it will be too much, but trust me there will be a time when it isn’t.

I have managed go on and on.  So with Genesis playing strongly in the background I will bring this to an end.  If you have any questions, concerns, comments, or ideas please feel free to ask away. I hope you have a great weekend, and I will be posting again soon.  Take care, Bill


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27 responses to “How I Feel for the Week ending 3.07.14……

  1. addercatter

    March 8, 2014 at 1:33 pm

    I really enjoy reading these update posts Bill! Nickelback is indeed a great band!
    I really get what you mean about support. My health is not very good and my life situation has basically turned a full 180 the past year or so. I HATE the fact that I know I need to accept help, and im to the point where I should probably really ASK for it regarding several instances. I just kept hoping it wouldn’t come to this… After all, who looks ahead to their future and pictures themselves with rare degenerative health conditions and/or sucky life situations? I definitely thought I’d be in a much different place in life as I turn 35!!! But you’re right… it is what it is! Kat

    • FlaHam

      March 8, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      Kat, Smiling I keep finding more and more Nickelback fans, that is great. Kat I am touched that you get and understand what I am talking about when it comes to support, if ever in your life it seems now would be a good time for you to both accept that which is offered, and seek what which isn’t. You have a lot of issues going on, you face many of the problems I face, and your so so much younger, it has to be even more difficult. Know you have me in your corner, and I have a good set of shoulders should you need them. Please take care, and always know that there is someone who really does care. Take care, Bill

      • addercatter

        March 8, 2014 at 5:36 pm

        Bill, thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me. I have been keeping so much inside that only one person knows the extent of what im really going through, and unfortunately that person was NOT supportive in any way. I really feel like im on the verge of a breakdown or something. Im increasingly irritable, nervous, and feel a general sense of panic and impending doom. Im really not sure which way to go from here. Unfortunately I have no advocate besides myself… it’s all more than I feel I can bear.

        • FlaHam

          March 9, 2014 at 1:00 am

          Kat, I will lean you my ear anytime you need it to help. We are all friends here and help each other to the highest extent possible. I can’t say I will solve your problems but at least I will listen. Please take care, Bill

  2. benzeknees

    March 8, 2014 at 2:24 pm

    Like you, I have noticed people greet me a little more warmly (receptionist at doc’s office) as they watch me struggle into the waiting room. Right now, hubby is very helpful & is certainly there when I ask for something. My concern is with later. He has not had the best track record when I had to be in the hospital. He doesn’t see the benefit to spending time visiting a patient in the hospital. I am concerned if I have an exacerbation & have to be hospitalized, I’ll be going it on my own & it will only get worse the sicker I get. As long as I am at home, it seems to be okay.

    • FlaHam

      March 8, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Benze, I am so glad you are experiencing some of the support you need. There are many organizations out there available to folks like us, who have life threatening issues, that will help and support us. I know from this and other correspondence that sometimes the support you get is not equal to your need. I would explore others options especially when you go to the hospital. It is terrible to be alone there. It truly is. Please take care, and know I am thinking of you. Bill

  3. kanzensakura

    March 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    And Bill, you are special. I know you aren’t really into this, but I don’t believe in Coincedence. I hope you don’t mind my bad spelling. i’m not a wise person or very learned, but I do know and have had it happen in the past and have faith in the future, God knows what I need and when I need it. He knew you needed encouragement and by golly, you got it! Keep being you and keep knowing that lots of folks pray for you everyday (I’m one of them) and who want you to continue to be encouraged, who want you to know that, yes, you are very special.

    • FlaHam

      March 8, 2014 at 5:38 pm

      Kanzen, I am the king of terrible spellers, and I have several very good blogger friends that will give me a terrible speller reference, so please trust me spelling will never come between us. I do believe deep in God and his son. I know they look out over me, and I know I am deeply cared for. Kanzen, that makes life a lot simpler, it makes dying easier, it truly does. I have many wonderful friends in blog world and your one of them, you’ll watch out for me, and I watch out for you. I am never going to give up my fight, and I will be filled with encouragement until that last breath. I will also share it with you wonderful folks. Please take care, Bill

  4. huntmode

    March 8, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    Dear Bill, what a timely post – not just for those who need support, but for those who give it. Most of us fall somewhere between the two, depending on the day. I remember reading or hearing that when you give something, whatever it might be, the payback will come, BUT, it may not come from the one to whom you gave it. It can be passed forward or backward, but it does come. What a miracle that is. LOL, hey, maybe I’ll do a post on this. Grin. As always, Bill, you leave one comforted and strengthened by your words. Best ~ HuntMode

    • FlaHam

      March 9, 2014 at 1:07 am

      Hunt, I have read and heard that as well, and of paying it forward, which I truly believe in. Hunt I always try to help. Sometimes that help is invited in, and is exactly what is needed, other times I am a slop, but I never stop trying. It is the least I can do. Please take care, I know your plate is full, and you don’t need to be taking on more. Eventually it will all be resolved. Take care, Bill

  5. jmgoyder

    March 8, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    You are so right about support!

  6. Chatter Master

    March 8, 2014 at 10:25 pm

    I love Liam’s note to you! How thoughtful!

    I’m glad the week isn’t scored lower. But I wish it had gotten better. I feel like you are the most supportive person. And I so appreciate your always trying to help the rest of us. You are a one of a kind. 🙂 A very good one of a kind.

    • FlaHam

      March 9, 2014 at 6:34 am

      Colleen, Liam’s note was a complete shock to me, but a welcomed one. I am going to put aside the changing of the scale, and let the existing mental scale play out. You would be surprised how fast the body adjusts to diminished capabilities, the mind is a touch slower. But folks need to know the truth about the steps and missteps the disease takes them. I will try to keep it light hearted but brutally honest. Please take care my friend. Bill

      • Chatter Master

        March 10, 2014 at 8:38 am

        Your truth is valued Bill. I’m impressed with your attitude above all else. You are a true gem.

        • FlaHam

          March 10, 2014 at 4:29 pm

          Colleen, My attitude and my truth are what I have to offer. I have been so graciously accepted in the blog world, I am still amazed. As you know I had started my blog as a soapbox for my personal fight against COPD. My blog like a child has grown, but its’ root remain. But it’s folks like you that really make it worthwhile, that make it a Joy to sit here and write. The encouragement, the support, the laughs and whining are all so very much appreciated. Without you and all my other readers, I would have an audience of none, and then my words would be meaningless. But you’ll make it all worthwhile, and I love each of you for it. Take care and thanks, Bill In a message dated 3/10/2014 8:39:00 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

          • Chatter Master

            March 11, 2014 at 6:01 am

            Bill, you write with such emotional strength. I appreciate you. 🙂

            • FlaHam

              March 11, 2014 at 10:08 am

              Colleen, LMBO you better be careful or my head will swell up, and I could end up walking around looking like balloon man LOL. But seriously I really appreciate your so kind words. Take care, Bill

              • Chatter Master

                March 11, 2014 at 8:16 pm

                Balloon man….hhhhmmmmmm…..balloon man that has a Santa face!!!! 😉

  7. Helen Devries

    March 9, 2014 at 9:41 am

    I stopped being too proud to seek help when my husband fell very ill while we lived in France…before I had a tendency to turn down offers of help – but when I had to shuttle between home and a hospital 80 kilometres away I’d take all the help I could get and will never forget the support from my husband’s family in Belgium who sent down one of the young men to drive me about, help with the animals – and, most importantly, make my husband laugh with his stories of his life as a chef before, in another story, springing him from hospital when things took an odd turn.

  8. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

    March 9, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Another inspirational and wise post, Bill. Without support what would our world be and along that line you shine shine shine in being such an incredibly supportive kindhearted friend. Laughed with the comment about no idea who Liam is. Too cute. And, also laughed at all the interruptions to let us know which song you were on. Sending many big cyber hugs and wishing ya’ll over there in gator country a happy Sunday.

    • FlaHam

      March 9, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Paulette, I did come to find out the Liam, is the son of the Associate Preacher at my wife’s church, he is a good man. But the card out of the blue, considering what had gone on this week, it was very nice. I am the rock, I am always supportive and have been so my entire life, it is something I do pride myself on, and it is one of the most sincere things about me. I really care, my blog has given me a universe to be supportive of, taking about COPD and sharing my experiences seems to have eased some, and helped others. My life stories are so much fun for me, and give me so much joy when others like or appreciate them. I have already warned my Daughter that she may star in many LOL. Please take care, Bill xoxo

  9. Marlyn

    March 10, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    Indeed support comes from where you least expect to find it….your supportive & supported stalker should know:)

    • FlaHam

      March 10, 2014 at 6:49 pm

      Hello My Sweet Stalker! Yes indeed it does, and the world is filled with wonderful folks who could not be more supportive of me, yourself included. Thank you for you so kind note, please take care, Bill

  10. Wanda

    March 21, 2014 at 4:13 pm

    Out of the mouth of babes–that Liam is one smart young man to recognize how special you are. Of course, depending on how old he is, he might just be covering his bases in case you really are Santa Claus.

    • FlaHam

      March 21, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      Wanda, It turns out that Liam is the son of one of the members of Allison’s church. Apparently Allison was talking to someone about recent developments and Liam and his mom overheard. I was truly amazed, surprised, and overcome with joy when I got that card. I keep the card on my desk as a gentle reminder. Take care, Bill


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