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How I am Feeling for the week ending 05.02.14….

03 May

For the week ending 05.02.14 this report will be coming from a more quiet place and time. The wife and I are now in a Hotel while the new flooring is installed in our home. But in packing some things were forgotten, including my IPod, so I am without music, and you are deprived a music list (I don’t know how I am going to be able to write). It has been hectic as hell this past week. The Brothers have gone back to Louisville, and my wife is back from her bucket list trip. The house is in full disarray, and I have this friggin tooth ache. Gee always something to look forward too. 

Health wise very little has changed, the coughing is about normal, tiredness about the same, I am breathing more times a minute than I should (I am taking more than 20 breathes a minute and the level of exertion is immaterial) , finally the issue will the tooth will be resolved this coming Tuesday. I did see the dentist after getting my brothers off for their flight Monday morning. After taking x-ray’s Doc Tooth decided it could be either an infection in the gums or the need for a root canal. We decided to give the antibiotics a chance to work, but after 4 full days of meds it was clear that the “potential infection” was more than “potential infection.” So I called and made the appointment with the extraction artist, for Tuesday morning 9am sharp. So I will be living on pain pills until Tuesday. And like any other time it is always wise to get ahead of the pain and stay there. For most of the week I have been using half doses of pain medication, and last night I realized I was being stupid and started taking the full dose, and have been since. Hell I should have just scheduled the extraction before I left the dentist office last Monday. But I am old and I am still making mistakes, but someday I will learn. Based on all I know about how I feel and the circumstances, I am going to give myself a 2.75 for the week.

Let get the vitals out-of-the-way for the week ending 05.02.14

  • INR = 2.1 taken 04/08/14 – next INR reading scheduled for 05.12.14

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 90 taken on 05.01.14 — several times this past week random checks have found my O2 level in the mid to low 80’s. The more activity the lower the reading.

  • Peak Flow = 225 taken 05.01.14

  • BP = 142/72 taken 05.01.14

  • Heart rate = 112 taken 05.01.14

  • Temp = 98.6 taken 05.01.14

  • Weight = 272. taken 04.30.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 05.02.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect.  Just a couple of weeks ago I spoke of this word, I believe it deserves more time than I originally gave it, so back by popular demand (this is internal popular demand) is the word Hospice. The definition hasn’t changed a word in the 2 weeks since I originally posted my remarks. So I just did a copy and paste on the Hospice so that information. The source still comes to us via:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hospice

hos·pice , noun – 1. House of shelter or rest for pilgrims, strangers, etc., especially one kept by a religious order. 2. Medicine/Medical a. health – care facility for the terminally ill that emphasizes pain control and emotional support for the patient and family, typically refraining from taking extraordinary measures to prolong life. b. a similar program of care and support for the terminally ill at home.

For those that have been following along on these “How I Feel … “ reports know, one of my chief concerns has been and is hospitalization. No matter what they do, as a sufferer of COPD once you go into the hospital or have an exacerbation of the COPD you never get the ground you lost back. Each trip to the hospital, each exacerbation is one more step down the ladder. But the problem with the ladder is that the distance between rungs is never the same. Sometimes you might lost .5 percent of lung function the next trip or exacerbation you may lost 2 or 3 percent of lung function. Also another major concern is the medicines available to treat the illness that took you to the hospital in the 1st place. As you are aware the more often you use a drug, the more your body and the disease being treated builds a tolerance to that medication and they are not as effective. Over my last few exacerbation and hospitalizations I have grown more and more aware of this lack of effectiveness. In early February, Doc Infectious told me he was running out of drugs to treat my COPD. In early March this was again confirmed by Doc Infectious, and Doc Lungs to his dismay supported Doc Infectious suspicions. But both are confident that under the best circumstances, they can mix and match a witch’s brew that will get me thru it. But it was suggested by Doc Infectious that I should consider going under Hospice care. Doc Lungs called me, and asked that I come in and see him before making or committing to this plan. The following day Steph and I visited with Doc Lungs, he much to his dismay agree with Doc Lungs, but he wanted me to understand this was not throwing in the White Flag. Further conversation confirmed he had no alternative drug therapy. There wasn’t a magic pill or mist to nebulize to make things better. Doc Lungs agreed with Doc Infectious assessment, that I have “a year or so.” Of course the key will be staying out of the hospital, and avoiding an exacerbation to the fullest extent possible. 

I know this is a long way to get to the point. I am now under the care of the local Hospice. I have been under their care since the early part of March. Over the next several months I will be talking at length about my Hospice experience. So far it has been extremely positive. I have been overwhelmed with the caring, concern, and compassion the Hospice folks I have encountered have displayed. Hospice is not a place someone just goes to, to give up and just die, it is so so much more than that. It is extremely supportive, and the benefits I have seen so far are outstanding for the patient and the patient’s family, friends, and others. Over the next few weeks and months I will provide a detailed report on the treatment program, the process, the ins and outs, and I will answer any specific question that is asked of me. I will be as forthright as possible. I do not find the prospect to be something to be feared, but something that will allow and give strength to the patient. 

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible.. Please take care, Bill

 

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29 responses to “How I am Feeling for the week ending 05.02.14….

  1. kanzensakura

    May 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    Bill, you never cease to amaze and inspire me. I pray for you and your family every day and ask God to give you strength, guidance, and assurance of His love and care for you. Hugs, Toni

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 9:25 pm

      Toni, This is such a sweet note, thank you so very much. Your prayers are appreciated, and I know God has a plan for me, and thru his grace He has allowed me to write and reach out to others. I am not a preachy person, and I don’t put my love of God on public display, but it is there deep in my heart and soul. Again thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Take care, Bill

       
  2. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

    May 3, 2014 at 9:15 pm

    Hoping and praying Tuesday does the trick and that handing the tooth helps you feel better. You may not have your iPod but hopefully the hotel you’re in will be showing some good movies. Sending you hugs and love as always. Your pal, Paulette ❤

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Paulette, I just hope he pulls the right one, I really hate dentist, and I hate it when they look questionionally into your mouth and ask which tooth is it? Right now if I were questioned about which dwarf I am it would have to be DOPEY I have been using the pain meds as scheduled, and I am clearly Dopey LOL. As always, thank you for you every sweet words, and all the caring, it really helps. Take care, Bill

       
  3. elusiveparticle

    May 4, 2014 at 12:58 am

    Hello, I have some very important information for you, if you would, please share it with as many people as you can as soon as possible.

    No Well Water is safe or suitable for animal consumption or plant growth, Fluorine is the 13th most abundant element in the earths crust, and water obtained from the ground will be contaminated with very high levels of Fluorides (fluorine + a positive ion). One small glass of Well Water, on average, contains the Fluoride equivalent of one pea sized dab of Fluoridated Toothpaste, this is about 0.7 parts per million of fluoride, however, any amount of fluoride exposure is incredibly harmful for all biological life.

    We have effectively increased our exposure to Fluorides on average by 50,000% when we choose to expose our selves to this water source, that is in comparison to the majority of our evolutionary history of drinking surface waters that contain which contain roughly 500x less fluoride, although, some wells may even be contaminated with levels as high as 12+ ppm.

    I believe that most people do not understand the science of why fluoride’s are so dangerous, so I’d like to explain why, but first I’d like to point out the fact that we are the only life on this planet to dig deep holes in the ground to obtain water to drink, at least deep enough to contaminate our water with high levels of fluoride in this way.

    The safest alternative is distilled water, or rain water (I suggest a collection time during long periods of rain to avoid polluted air contamination), filters like reverse osmosis do not do enough and they hardly filter the majority of fluorides at all because most naturally occurring fluorides are relatively small compounds, but they may help filter many larger fluoride compounds like those which may be additionally added to water supplies by many city water suppliers. Regardless of which fluorides are getting through, distilled water, or rain, will remove them all, except those leached into water droplets through out atmosphere, rain will be especially vulnerable to this and there are about 50 parts per billion of hydrogen fluoride / other fluoride gasses in our atmosphere, but rain collected should contain less than 0.008 parts per million of fluorides on average.

    So, why are fluorides dangerous…?

    Besides specific bond formations that may occur within the body and disrupt normal biological processes, like that of calcium bonds in our bones rather than our teeth due to excessive fluorides in the blood stream, here is the key issue behind fluorides disastrous effects, which continue be disastrous even after bonds like this occur.

    “Electronegativity”, which is the tendency to draw in electron mass, is a fundamental atomic property of all the elements on the periodic table, out of all these 118 elements of the Periodic Table, the element fluorine has the highest Electronegativity, and, more importantly, one eighth of the entire spectrum of Electronegativy for these Elements on the Periodic Table, is a gap between Element Oxygen, and Element Fluorine.

    Let me just repeat that once again…

    1/8th, of the entire spectrum of Electronegativity, for the elements on the periodic table, is a gap, between elements oxygen and fluorine.

    That kind of Electronegative energy, drawing in electrons in a biological system, (which is a finely tuned system of exchanging electrons), will extremely distort functions of biological systems, especially systems that have not evolved to cope with the levels of Fluoride they are being exposed to.

    We are 70% water like most life on this planet, and only throughout roughly the last 100,000 years or so have we begun digging these holes in the ground to obtain water.

    Evolution does not occur rapidly enough for this fluoride contaminated water to really be called “safe” by now, one quick example of the the slow progression of evolution is that we split from Chimpanzee’s / Bonobo’s nearly 7 million years ago.

    There is roughly 500 times less fluoride in natural sources of water like rain, or springs, even rivers and lakes, than there is in this water from holes in the ground. Drinking and using this water for farming, globally, is destroying our bodies, developing a wide spectrum of health issues for us, our pets, and our plants, I’m sure you’ve noticed we are the only wild animals getting cancer.

    A good example of the powerful Electronegativity that the Element Fluorine has is when experiments are done in it’s pure state as a Gas, in this state, it is so reactive, that almost any substance, Glass, Metals, or even WATER, BURN, with a Bright Flame in a Jet of Fluorine Gas, WITHOUT the need for a Spark.

    This incredibly high Electronegativite Energy still lingers even after Fluorine forms a bond with positive ions, and these are what we call “Fluoride’s”.

    Among the wide spectrum of various health Issues fluoride can cause, Cancer is a big one, but i’d like to focus on another not so obvious symptom of fluoride exposure.

    I think it is crucial to understand this particular issue, i’ll start with the fact that we are 70% water, we need a lot of water each and every day, and our body can detect the amounts of Fluoride, along with the minerals that end up in our water as it is processed for use in the blood stream, and if this amount is higher than the natural levels we have evolved to cope with, our brains have evolved a coping mechanism which attempts to put a damper on precious processes such as higher cognitive functions involved with imagination, functions that are involved with implementing new neurons, or functions that strengthen new neurons and neurons already in use for more reliable access. This damper is done as a way to preserve these functions for more significant moments, which will be judged by your conscious thought and with emotions, rather than just allowing these functions to be used all the time, because doing so would damage neurons your trying to strengthen if there are fluorides present in the blood stream. (this is hard for me to explain so I hope you understand.)

    This damper is the reason why cognitive dissonance occurs in the minds of so many people, many of us who are so heavily poisoned by these fluorides would much rather rely on a set of neurons that are already hardwired and therefore reliable, than to risk developing new ones that may be distorted by the presence of excessive amounts of fluorides.

    Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, are emotions that help you to overcome this damper that the Human Brain Implements, these emotions help your conscious mind in ways that get you “worked up” enough to use these higher cognitive functions, it is like forcing your brain to use these parts it’s trying to preserve (imagination and functions that are involved with implementing new neurons) because your consciously telling it that you think what your doing is extremely important. A good example of this, is if your having a discussion with your boss at work and he is noticeably upset because you didn’t do your job right, you’ll stress your self out over this kind of event in order to strengthen particular neurons for more reliable access so it won’t happen again.

    That sort of behavior can cause someone to act impulsively, i’m sure you’ve seen it many times even with your self, we want to stick to a set of reliable and hardwired neurons, as if we know it all and we don’t need improvement on our methods or awareness of particular things… and many times cognitive dissonance will occur as we try to avoid stress, anxiety, and depression, as we are met with concepts perhaps true, which seem counter intuitive to us.

    To make it short, excessive fluoride in the blood stream can literally makes it stressful to try to imagine and develop new ways of thinking… Your brain is telling you not too do something via these emotions, because of fluorides present in your blood stream, and unless you overcome this stress with your conscious judgement of importance, like realization of truth and excitement for learning this truth, cognitive dissonance will occur.

    Money, and other various ways of cultures, will keep us plugging along sticking to Hardwired Neurons doing something we wish we weren’t doing, or preforming a job which barely pays at all, perhaps worthless and unsustainable as well. There are many various ways our cultures promote these bad ideas, among each other in this adversity, must stand up for the rights of our planet, to live sustainability, to do so we must use our consciousness to it’s utmost potential, that means getting off of fluoride as soon as possible…. that’s the first step I believe. Money is evil in the sense that it is a false incentive and provides many unconscious opportunity’s for the destruction of our planet, it will promote the success of particular neurons, meanwhile demoting others, and we rewarded our selves self chemically when we receive “money” for doing a job right, or when we receive / spend / have money, this strengthens those neurons even further, it’s all about money sometimes, and not the actual thing it’s self.

    Rain (Like Distillation) = Averages 0.008 ppm (parts per million) fluoride.
    Surface Waters (For example, Lakes, Rivers, Springs) = Averages 0.05 ppm fluoride.
    Bottled Water = Averages 0.1 ppm fluoride.
    Well Water = Ranges from 0.7 – 12+ ppm fluoride .
    Tap Water = Ranges from 0.7 – 12+ ppm fluoride (In america, the maximum allowance is 4.0 ppm, regulated by the FDA).

    Additionally fluoridated water supplies often use chemicals we’ve never even come into contact with throughout the last 3.5 billion years of evolution here on earth, for example, chemicals like Sodium fluorosilicate (Na2SiF6)and HydroFluorosilicic acid (H2SiF6). Fluoridation of a public water supply is medication without consent.

    Some Of The Easiest Thing And Most Important Thing You Can And Should Do Immediately to avoid the majority of Fluoride Exposure, Is to drink distilled water, and to avoid tea or tobacco, they both contain very high levels of fluoride.

    Distilled water is very inexpensive, it cost roughly $0.88 for a 1 Gallon jug which is available at nearly every grocery store, otherwise you can order it from a water supplier like “Culigan”, for nearly the same price.

    Please start drinking distilled water, or rain water (collected sometime near the end of a storm, during a long duration of rain preferably, to give time to clean the atmosphere and avoid polluted air contamination) as soon as possible, drink, cook, and process your foods with this water.

    Distilled water and rain water, are the process of evaporating water, collecting and condensing the Vapors, which will leave you with 100% uncontaminated (no dissolved solids) h2o.

    If your worried about not getting enough minerals anymore once you switch to distilled water, let me assure you that if you eat acidic fruits, or add some lime or lemon (Organic) to your distilled water, you will be completeeeely fine… and feeling much better than you were before.

    For water with more alkalinity, you can add coconut water to your distilled water, and there are plenty more options out there for you to try, but a proper food diet is all that is necessary, many fruits will contain all the minerals you need in your diet, Banana, Cantaloupe, Water Melon, etc, fruit is incredibly healthy, especially raw fresh fruit, which happens to contain incredibly low levels of fluoride as well, especially if grown organically.

    Home Water Distilling Units range in Price from 100$ which is sufficient to start drinking, to 1000$ which will be ridiculously efficient, supporting your entire Family and a Home Garden as well, although rain can be very sufficient for a home garden if unpolluted, rain water (<0.008 ppm fluoride)

    If you decide to distill rain, or even reverse osmosis water, you will never have to clean your distillation unit, you will only need to drain the water from the boiling tank occasionally and replace the post filter every 2-5 months.

    Fluorine is in low friction "plastics" such as Teflon which is a molecule comprised of only carbon and fluorine atoms, when Teflon Coated Cookware is Heated, it will release Carbon Fluoride Vapors into the Air or into your Food, do not use Teflon for this reason, and it is well known to cause cancer,

    Aluminum is very dangerous as well, it will increase the toxic build up of Fluorides in the Human Body, avoid aluminum cookware because it aluminum has a low melting point and if scraped, bits of it will end up in your food, small amounts may boil off into water or evaporate like Teflon as well.

    Aluminum is the 3rd most abundant element in the Earth's Crust, and Fluorine is the 13th most abundant element in the Earths Crust: An average of 950 ppm of Fluoride are contained in it. Top Soils contain approximately 330 ppm of Fluorine, ranging from 150 to 400 ppm. Some Soils can have as much as 1000 ppm, and contaminated soils from industrial processes have been found with 3500 ppm.

    Rain water has 0.008 ppm as I've mentioned, and it is what the majority of the water that the Life on this Planet has evolved to cope with, waters are further contaminated when they make contact with the surface of this planet, and the further down those waters go before they are dug up from wells for various human purposes, the more contaminated they are going to be.

    Fluorine that is located in Soils may potentially accumulate in Plants, Especially the Tobacco or Tea plants, i'd like to suggest to you that you avoid exposing your body to these two plants in particular, you can find very credible information on wikipedia about them and their fluoride contamination.

    The amount of uptake of fluoride by Plants depends upon the type of Plant, and the type of Soil, and the amount and type of Fluoride found in the Soil / Water.

    Too much Fluoride, whether taken in from the Soil by Roots, or absorbed from the Atmosphere by the Leaves, retards the growth of Plants and reduces Crop Yields. Growing plants with well water is like pumping the fluoride equivalent of 25 to 100+ tubes of fluoridated tooth paste in with the soil throughout the plants life… that's because well water averages a 0.7 ppm contamination of fluoride… and unfortunately that is what I assume the majority of our foods are grown with at this time.

    With Plants that are Sensitive to Fluoride Exposure, even Low Concentrations of Fluoride can cause Leaf Damage, and a Decline in Growth.

    Although Fluoride was once considered an Essential Nutrient, the U.S. National Research Council has since removed this Designation due to the lack of Studies showing it is essential for Human growth.

    It is important to note that if Fluorides are absorbed too frequently it will cause Calcification of the mammalian Pineal Gland. The Pineal Gland is Biological Filter for Fluoride. It has the most Profuse Blood Flow 2nd only to the Kidneys, with the Highest Concentrations of Fluoride throughout the entire Mammalian Body, ranging from 20,000 ppm to 25,000 ppm.

    Both the Pineal Gland and The Kidneys turn Fluorides from our Diet / Blood Stream (note: Smoking, Vaporizing, Water Vapors in the shower, Air (15-50 ppb) into Calcium Fluorides, which are safer to process out of the body. The Pineal Gland processes built up calcium fluorides to safely exit the body through urine at night, the process involves the molecule n,n-DMT which is produced naturally in the Pineal Gland, many plants contain this molecule, and this molecule is good medicine for decalcification of the Pineal Gland if taken before your sleep as concentrated dried plant matter (nearly boil plant matter containing n,n-DMT, let settle for an hour, scoop off top layer of water and dry it in a glass dish), the urge to urinate will increase and you should wake up to do so accordingly. The molecule n,n-dmt neutralizes the electronegative effects of fluorides in the blood stream by clumping together with fluorides to help them safely exit the body.

    If these two filters cannot handle the fluoride they are being exposed to, then Fluorides may end up in other calcium deposits throughout our bodies, like our Bones, which can cause Skeletal Flurosis, (which may lead to Arthritis or Joint Pains), this may even be the general cause of Arthritis.

    Dental Flurosis (White spots on Teeth) which may lead to Tooth Decay, is an obvious sign of wider systemic damage.

    This information is updated as frequently as I can update it at DamageReport.org

    An obvious indication of a significant reduction in fluoride exposure to your body is remembering your dreams from each time you sleep, and vividly.

    (You are experiencing a subjective reality, and there are many others experiencing a subjective reality as well, but we are all the universe it's self, and so we must not activate neural pain networks.)

    Much Love,

    – И

     
  4. huntmode

    May 4, 2014 at 1:29 am

    Bill, it’s got to be said…. you have got to have two IPods – one for home use and one for the go bag. You are a man who needs his tunes.

    Both Kanzen and Paulette say it better than I can. You are surrounded in reality and the viritual world by people who love and truly care about you. I am one of them and honored to be among the many. You have beaten predicitons of time before and if it can be done, you will do so again. We will be here with you every step. Love you, Bill. xxoo Hunt

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 11:33 am

      Huntie; Smiling, what I need to do is have my Laptop added as a computer for my Apple account, and have my play list on it as well. That would solve a zillion problems, and it’s on my list to be taken care of soonest. Huntie, I am indeed a very fortunate soul. I have you and so many other truly wonderful friends in both the real and cyber worlds, and in that area where they overlap. I could not ask for more. As I told Colleen earliere, I could not be where I am without the likes of you, Colleen, Julie, Paulette, Wanda and so many many others. Your strength and support have allowed me to flourish, and thru you my word gets spread further and further. Thank You. Bill

       
  5. jmgoyder

    May 4, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Even without the music, Bill, you totally rock and I salute you again!

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 11:27 am

      Julie, I do miss my music when I write. But we will soon be back in our house, and things will return somewhat to normal. Julie, soft smile, we both carry a burden, any my love you carry yours just as well as I carry mine. Thank you for all your support. Take care, Bill

       
  6. Chatter Master

    May 4, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Bill you are hands down the most beautiful. You’re attitude and willingness to share is incredible.

    I’ve worked with many individuals who have chosen to have hospice care. And they were always the better for it. The care and concern shown them has been wonderful. And in the thirteen years I’ve been in my current job I’ve actually seen some improve to where they didn’t qualify for hospice any longer.

    I’m glad you’re getting the tooth taken care of, sorry the meds didn’t resolve it though. I’m amazed and happy you are still holding at a 2.75.

    I hope the floors are done quickly so you can return to home, music and hearth. I’ll break out my music and play something and sing along just for you. 🙂

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 11:20 am

      Colleen, LMBO I am so far from beautiful LOL, cute I will accept, but not beautiful. As for my attitude, and willingness to share, if thru an act of kindness I make it easier, if my actions make it just a little more tolerable, if thru my words, one individual finds a way to get thru this friggin disease easier, then I have doing my part. And will continue as long as possible. If my stories about myself make someone smile or ease their pain, then I will continue to write them, to try and be that friendly beacon they can reach for. I know having friends like you, Paulette, Wanda, Julie and Hunt to name just a tiny few, have made it so much easier for me. By enjoying the silliness of some posts and the seriousness of other posts, of your understanding without pity, coupled with the unconditional love, friendship, add some laughs and giggles, have made such a big difference. If you can have that impact on me, I can only hope that my words and thoughts have a similar impact on others. Thanks you, Bill

       
      • Chatter Master

        May 4, 2014 at 6:34 pm

        Bill, your words, thoughts, comments DEFINITELY have a wonderful impact. And you can’t tell me what is beautiful! You may be cute, but you are undoubtedly beautiful as well. 🙂 So there!

         
        • FlaHam

          May 4, 2014 at 7:43 pm

          Colleen, I will accept your description I have learned not to argue with you. And I appreciate knowing that I have touched folks. Thank you for reminding me. Take care,Bill Have a great Day Sent via my Nook — Bill

           
          • Chatter Master

            May 5, 2014 at 6:02 am

            Oh I love a good argument Bill! 🙂 And you have truly touched us Bill. I’m glad you know this. 🙂

             
  7. Helen Devries

    May 4, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    You are one tough chap with a wonderful wife.
    My mother hopes that before she risks being obliged to go to her local hospital she will qualify for hospice care before her death…..and her friends are on red alert to get me to come over in case of need to get her where she will be treated with respect and care.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 4, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      Helen, I would be beside myself if I faced the potential your mom does. How a person can be robbed of their dignity because they are ill is beyond me. This is the 21 century, and we are supposed to be living in a civilized world. I am sure you will do the best for your mom and you can, and I know you will be a wonderful advocate for her. Please take care, and I wish you and your Mom all the very best. Bill

       
  8. Wanda

    May 5, 2014 at 6:54 pm

    I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow while you are at the dentist, hoping all the while that it will go as quickly as possible and, by the end, that the pain you’ve been experiencing will be gone. I’m fortunate that I’ve had only one root canal–but 15-plus years later, it is still a horrible memory.

    Meantime, I continue to be proud and amazed by you. You have an up-close-and-personal acquaintance with what hospice means, but instead of shying away from its implications, you pass along its positive aspects so that others can benefit from your experience. You are, in your own way, making the world a better place…

     
    • FlaHam

      May 5, 2014 at 9:17 pm

      Wanda, Your words always comfort me. My total real experience with Hospice prior to my own involvement with their care was negative. But it doesn’t have to be, and I feel it is important enough that I stand on my soap box and preach its merits. And just as I speak weekly about my health, I will be talking weekly about my hospice experience. If thru my words I can make the transition easier for one other person going thru these stages then my words were worth, my sharing of my experience is worthwhile. Thank you for all of the encouragement you have shown and given me, I can’t and don’t have the words to express my gratitude for all you have done. Please take care, Love Bill

       
  9. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.

    May 5, 2014 at 10:00 pm

    Bill, I’m thrilled to have found you through so many of your friends above who have already commented. I’ve read each comment and your reply–well, I confess, there was one comment that was a little long and it sounded more like something coming from a New Age throw-away found at Hollywood and Vine. I do believe our water is bad but not because of fluoride and it’s certainly not an appropriate discussion for your blog.
    I’m delighted you will be sharing your experience with Hospice. I however would prefer that it was from a different point of view than your own. I’ve just met you and you’ve brought big fat tears rolling down my face.
    I totally agree with wanting to pass with dignity. And, I couldn’t agree more with staying away from the hospital. We haven’t had a positive experience via hospital in a very long time.
    Obviously you are a music man and that tickles me. I love music and love, love my playlist.
    Take good care of yourself. I’ll see you soon. Sheri

     
    • FlaHam

      May 6, 2014 at 8:25 pm

      Sheri, I am honored that you found me, and have enjoyed my work enough to follow along. I try to answer each comment. I enjoy the dialog that is found in the comments section of the posts. And I learn so much from that, not only about the people, but about the illness that is claiming more and more. Soft smile, it is wasn’t my intent to bring tears to you or anyones’ eyes when I decided to announce that I was under hospice care. But I wanted to do so early enough in the process to give and open and frank discussion of the process. Also, to give folks enough time to ask the hard questions that they want answered, especially if they are headed in this direction. I couldn’t do that if I waited until the end. I am tickled that you enjoyed my music and music tastes (at least that’s my take on your remark). Smiling, one more day then I have my music back. Please take care, we will talk more soon I am sure. Bill

       
      • sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.

        May 7, 2014 at 7:12 pm

        Bill – I pray today is the day you finally have your music back or even earlier. I also try to reply to all comments but with my being ill and trying to keep up with other elements of my life, I often am a few days late.
        You are so right about engaging in conversations with others that comment on your blog. I learn and feel a kindred spirit with so many (including you). I often find myself reading all comments a blogger receives on a specific post.
        I so appreciate your take on the Hospice experience. Yes, I understand why you’ve elected to tell us early and you are a courageous soul for having done so. I want to know everything you wish to share.
        Thank you, Bill for sharing your life with us in this blogging universe. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could all get together with our choice of beverage and simply see each other and have a big group hug, some singing and dancing too for those that feel well enough, beverage of your choice and let’s throw in snack foods of choice as well. Have a great week my friend and don’t let the oral surgeon send you to la-la-land.

         
        • FlaHam

          May 8, 2014 at 8:42 am

          Sheri, You are way to sweet to me. But YES I am glad to be back in the house, and back to my music, and my bed. The work has been completed with the exception of a couple small things which will be resolved in the next couple days. Soft smile, when I am gone, a friend has volunteered to take my blog and convert it to a book, comments and all, for my granddaughter. She will learn so much about me, and those I have come to hold dearly, from reading the comment section of the post. I don’t look in the mirror and see anyone courageous, and I don’t feel courageous. When I started talking about my illness I did so in a full and open manner. Hospice is not the end but the next chapter, and I will treat it with full disclosure, hopefully folks will learn from what I write, and hopefully what I write will put some fears to bed. That is all I can hope for. Please take care, Bill

           
          • huntmode

            May 27, 2014 at 8:47 pm

            Hand raised: Ah, Bill, I want a copy of the book, comments and all. Can we think about it being a real book, on sale at Amazon? They will print to order, m’amigo. There will be many more before and after that will need your wisdom and experiences. Just because we read it, doesn’t mean we got it. Sometimes that comes later and we need to be able to find just that time you spoke to just that need. xxoo Hunt

             
            • FlaHam

              May 27, 2014 at 9:11 pm

              Hunt, I suspect arrangements can and will be made for those that would want a copy. But I know it won’t be a large printing. LOL. Take care, Bill

               
              • huntmode

                May 27, 2014 at 11:29 pm

                As always, you underestimate yourself there, William.

                 
                • FlaHam

                  May 28, 2014 at 7:15 am

                  Hunt, We’ll see LOL LOL, there will be a cost involved and that alone will scare folks away. LOL Take care, Bill

                   
                  • huntmode

                    May 28, 2014 at 2:44 pm

                    Money well spent, Bill. 🙂

                     
  10. benzeknees

    May 6, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    I’m sorry the end of retirement date has been moved up from 3 – 5 years to about a year. I would be very interested in your tales of hospice as I think you already know I am a proponent of this type of care. I take it you are receiving hospice care in your own home (or hotel?) right now? Since March? You’ve been keeping secrets Bill!

     
    • FlaHam

      May 6, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      Benze, I am going to be writing about it as long as I can, and please understand I will report both on the good and bad. But so far it has been a very positive experience. I will be receiving all of my hospice care at my home until the very end. I am staying in a hotel while floor is being replaced in the home, and we expect to move back into the house tomorrow. But with all the dust being kicked up by the construction it only made since that we be moved out. I keep very few secrets, and it took a week or two to decide how I wanted to approach and share this with my readers. Hospice can be very scary, but I find it to just be another chapter. I will be devoting a post to the fact that it is just a chapter, not the whole story. Please take care, and if you see something that causes a specific question please ask. Take care, Bill

       

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