Last week in my weekly “How I Feel… (5.2.14)” post I announced that because of the advanced stage of my COPD, that I was now under the direct care of Hospice. As you know I have made no secret regarding my fight against COPD, reporting weekly on my current health. I have spoken at length regarding exacerbation and hospitalizations, the drugs that have been prescribed and the dosages. I have given every possible vital sign that I have had. All in the name of keeping folks informed. And that really is what this is all about. It has been my supreme hope that my words have given some folks a level of comfort. Through my honest “tell all” approach, I hoped I have in some way answered some of the many unasked questions.
When I started this blog it was going to be my soapbox from which I preached about COPD, smiling I have done a pretty fair job of preaching and a lot of storytelling to boot. As I review what I have written over the last 2 years, the overall body of work is nothing more than a bunch of chapters about me. What started as a BLOG about COPD became a living autobiography of Bill Hamilton. None of the Chapters are in sequence and some chapters speak to a single incident, others to periods of years, many of the chapters speak specifically to and about COPD. But none the less each post is a chapter in my life.
Folks, my going into Hospice care isn’t by any means the final Chapter. But it will be a chapter that addresses some if not a lot of issues that folks with terminal diseases face at that stage of their life. In many ways I will most likely bore you to tears, and in some cases I will make you shed a tear. And trust me I will make you laugh your ass off from time to time. As I transition towards the “end of retirement” I will share the good and the bad, the stuff that makes me smile, and the things that make my ass burn. Damn I used the word ASS in two sentences in a row that is a new record. And if possible I would want your participation, if you had a specific question I can ask my care givers please feel free to do so, I will get you an answer as best I can. If I don’t explain something or you need additional information please feel free to ask. If you want to know my personal feeling about the treatment, costs, my attitude or whatever please ask. If you don’t want to make your question public email me firstname.lastname@example.org I will respond directly back to you. This will be as much for you as it is for me. Most likely I will give my caregivers names (just as I have used Doc Head, Doc Infectious and Doc Lungs for the past year) so I can talk about them like the real people they are, and the process they are guiding me thru.
Please remember this isn’t my final Chapter, I have a long time to go. I have bunches of stories I need to share about my Daughter, my Granddaughter, my wife, myself and my life. Also trust me I am not going to focalize on Hospice each week. I figure my weekly “How I Feel’s” will pretty much remain the same because even in Hospice, Doc Lungs is still my primary Lung Doc, Doc Infectious is my primary infectious disease doctor, and Doc Head will still be my head doctor. I will still see them on a regular basis, and they will watch out over me when I am hospitalized. But Hospice will also be watching to ensure that just because I am terminal I am not overlooked. I suspect that my posts will be SSDD (same shit different day), they will be a mix of health related posts and Grandpa Tales. When it comes time for that final chapter to be written, it most likely won’t even be written by me. I have asked my daughter to post something, and I am sure at least one other person will write that final post for me. Heck, I may have something in the wings to share as a part of the final post. But remember that is a long way off.
Smiling, moving to a less morbid change of pace, if I every post that I have been kicked out of Hospice put on your dancing shoes and do your happy dance. LMAO being kicked out of Hospice is a treat, it means you’re not succumbing to your disease rapidly enough to require their services, and that folk’s is a good thing.
As always if you have any questions, concern, or thought you want to share please feel free. Take care and have a great day. Bill