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It’s just another Chapter….. a Grandpa Tale

08 May

Last week in my weekly “How I Feel… (5.2.14)” post I announced that because of the advanced stage of my COPD, that I was now under the direct care of Hospice. As you know I have made no secret regarding my fight against COPD, reporting weekly on my current health. I have spoken at length regarding exacerbation and hospitalizations, the drugs that have been prescribed and the dosages. I have given every possible vital sign that I have had. All in the name of keeping folks informed. And that really is what this is all about. It has been my supreme hope that my words have given some folks a level of comfort. Through my honest “tell all” approach, I hoped I have in some way answered some of the many unasked questions. 

When I started this blog it was going to be my soapbox from which I preached about COPD, smiling I have done a pretty fair job of preaching and a lot of storytelling to boot. As I review what I have written over the last 2 years, the overall body of work is nothing more than a bunch of chapters about me. What started as a BLOG about COPD became a living autobiography of Bill Hamilton. None of the Chapters are in sequence and some chapters speak to a single incident, others to periods of years, many of the chapters speak specifically to and about COPD. But none the less each post is a chapter in my life.

Folks, my going into Hospice care isn’t by any means the final Chapter. But it will be a chapter that addresses some if not a lot of issues that folks with terminal diseases face at that stage of their life. In many ways I will most likely bore you to tears, and in some cases I will make you shed a tear. And trust me I will make you laugh your ass off from time to time. As I transition towards the “end of retirement” I will share the good and the bad, the stuff that makes me smile, and the things that make my ass burn. Damn I used the word ASS in two sentences in a row that is a new record. And if possible I would want your participation, if you had a specific question I can ask my care givers please feel free to do so, I will get you an answer as best I can. If I don’t explain something or you need additional information please feel free to ask. If you want to know my personal feeling about the treatment, costs, my attitude or whatever please ask. If you don’t want to make your question public email me dealingwithcopd@aol.com and I will respond directly back to you. This will be as much for you as it is for me. Most likely I will give my caregivers names (just as I have used Doc Head, Doc Infectious and Doc Lungs for the past year) so I can talk about them like the real people they are, and the process they are guiding me thru.

Please remember this isn’t my final Chapter, I have a long time to go. I have bunches of stories I need to share about my Daughter, my Granddaughter, my wife, myself and my life. Also trust me I am not going to focalize on Hospice each week. I figure my weekly “How I Feel’s” will pretty much remain the same because even in Hospice, Doc Lungs is still my primary Lung Doc, Doc Infectious is my primary infectious disease doctor, and Doc Head will still be my head doctor. I will still see them on a regular basis, and they will watch out over me when I am hospitalized. But Hospice will also be watching to ensure that just because I am terminal I am not overlooked. I suspect that my posts will be SSDD (same shit different day), they will be a mix of health related posts and Grandpa Tales. When it comes time for that final chapter to be written, it most likely won’t even be written by me. I have asked my daughter to post something, and I am sure at least one other person will write that final post for me. Heck, I may have something in the wings to share as a part of the final post. But remember that is a long way off.

Smiling, moving to a less morbid change of pace, if I every post that I have been kicked out of Hospice put on your dancing shoes and do your happy dance. LMAO being kicked out of Hospice is a treat, it means you’re not succumbing to your disease rapidly enough to require their services, and that folk’s is a good thing.

As always if you have any questions, concern, or thought you want to share please feel free. Take care and have a great day. Bill

 
21 Comments

Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Grandpa Stories, Observations, Ramblings

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

21 responses to “It’s just another Chapter….. a Grandpa Tale

  1. Kira

    May 8, 2014 at 4:22 pm

    Keeping you in my thoughts.

    Kira

     
    • FlaHam

      May 8, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      Kira, Thank you very much. Take care, Bill

       
  2. kanzensakura

    May 8, 2014 at 5:05 pm

    It is amazing Bill. In order for Medicaid to pay for hospice in VA, you have to w/in 6 months of expected dying. And keeping this in mind when I had to approve care, dang, if at the end of 6 months, I had to approve more time…and do it again. Seems the hospice folk took such good care and did so much to improve mental and spiritual attitudes, people improved! that didn’t happy in every case of course, I had too many children dying from HIV or leukemia on my watch. But I had HIV adults and other illnesses who should have died….not die when expected! And it was mostly about the spiritual and mental attitudes. the posive vibes, the prayer, the connecting to hope…I used these good folk as examples when I had cancer…and it helped! So even though sometimes I know it gets hard, you just keep rocking on…keep playing your window shaking, butt moving music, enjoying your loved ones, the things that make you happy. And you know you have my prayers and smiles all being lifted heavenward with your name on them. and those of others who love you and who you inspire. The other day, I got discouraged because I was having trouble changing my tire. I stood up, caught my breath and muttered, Bill would tell me to move my ass because the sooner it gets done, the sooner I can get off the side of this road….so, and it helped. Know that you matter to so many people. Know that you help and inspire us in ways you cannot imagine. Be blessed as you have blessed us.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 5:06 am

      Kanzen, That was the 1st big surprise, I too thought you had to be within 6 months of dying before being admitted, but I was clearly wrong. Granted I will have to be recertified every six months, and if I am decertified at any time I can be brought back under the care of the program almost immediately. I am still working the bugs out, but the folks I have dealt with seem to think I can hang around in the program until the end of retirement if my health continues to fail. Kanzen, I am such a PIA, yes I will keep playing my music loud, and teasing my daughter and granddaughter as long as possible. I will not be departing in a quiet manner, but I hope to make it on my terms. You have no idea how proud I am of you changing your own tire, hell it’s been years since I have changed a tire, and I will say with a total straight face that if I have a flat, the 1st thing I will do is call AAA and give them my location and tell them to bring a jack, then I will sit back open up my Nook and wait their arrival. Kanzen, it is stories such as your flat changing experience that encourage and inspire me. I draw strength, outlook, courage, and will from my readers. You’ll inspire me every day. Thank YOU! Please take care and be safe, Bill

       
  3. Wanda

    May 8, 2014 at 5:09 pm

    Your attitude is amazing, Bill. Though we’ve been friends for a fairly long while, I wish I had known you much sooner. You do good things on your blog, making the lives of people around you happier and better. I know this isn’t a blog-related trait–it’s something I suspect you’ve done your entire adult life. I am sorry beyond words that you are at the place you are, and I sincerely hope the doctors are wrong in their assessment (and/or that a miracle is about to happen for you), but if things proceed as has been described to you, I’m confident you will continue to make others’ lives easier by advocating for them through your own hospice experience.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 4:52 am

      Wanda, soft smile, I too wish we had the opportunity to meet years before we did. It has been such a pleasure getting to know both you and Art, and developing the friendship we share. I like to think of myself as a genuinely nice person, but like anyone I have to work at it constantly. We share the same dreams for a miracle to happen and a magic cure for this friggin disease is found soon, but until that happens I am going to proceed as I have. I will be open and honest, and I will do the best I can to help others in a similar situation get thru their rough spots. Please take care, your friend forever, Bill

       
  4. Clanmother

    May 8, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    I am honoured to be able to read your posts. Thank you for being remarkable.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 4:43 am

      ClanMom, Actually my dear you and every one of my followers honors and tolerates me every time you choose to read one of my posts, for that alone I am forever in your depth. Thank you for the time you spend with me. Please take care, Bill

       
      • Clanmother

        May 10, 2014 at 12:24 am

        Thank you so much, Bill!!! Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

         
  5. Chatter Master

    May 8, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    I love your chapters Bill. And I look forward to this very long chapter. You are an inspiration, a laugh, and a couple ‘a tears as well. Not to mention a couple of snorting laughs too. 🙂

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 4:40 am

      Colleen, I will keep pounding them out as long as I can. They are a joy to write, they are for the most part a joy to dig out of the way back machine. Just the fact that I know you enjoy them is an inspiration to continue to write them. Take care, Bill

       
  6. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

    May 8, 2014 at 9:08 pm

    You’re such an inspiration for me in so many ways. Blessing the day I found your site and grateful for the day it turned into a wonderful friendship. Love! ❤

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 4:37 am

      Paulette, Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and confidence. The blessing is mutual my dear friend. Nature drew us together, and it has been a wonderful experience and a deep friendship. Thank you so much for taking the time (way back then). Love Bill

       
  7. Ajayla

    May 8, 2014 at 11:43 pm

    Reblogged this on Absent Musings and commented:
    Wow.

     
  8. Barbara Farrelly

    May 9, 2014 at 1:17 am

    Bill, we’ve just met! Don’t go leaving too soon. I’m reading back over your writings and feeling so grateful that you used some of your precious time to chart your dealings with Copd and share your life at the same time. A valuable legacy. We are more than our disease.
    Your posts from the Hospice will be very special.
    Be strong Bill. The hardest part is behind you.
    Blessings, from Barbara, also in The Departure Lounge.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 5:14 am

      Barbara, Soft smile, I am glad we encountered each other, the pleasure has been mine. Trust me I have no intention of departing earlier than necessary, and then I just won’t go to quietly. I am so glad you are enjoying my blog, my rants about COPD, and my stories for my granddaughter. Each important to me, each have a place in my blog. Just as there are places for all my friends to come and visit. I truly hope that my posts while I am under the care of Hospice can dispel some of the fear others coming down this road may have. If I can lessen the burden of one soul, then all my words are worthwhile. Thank you for joining the journey, and please take care, Bill

       
  9. benzeknees

    May 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    You have already lessened my burden Bill, with your support & neverending humor.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 9, 2014 at 11:18 pm

      Benze, I am so glad to hear that, I am glad my words and thoughts help even in small ways. Thank you, Bill

       
  10. huntmode

    May 27, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    You’re blazing new trails for us, Bill. Hold the lantern high, m’amigo. Thanks as always, Bill, for your leadership.

     
    • FlaHam

      May 27, 2014 at 9:13 pm

      Hunt, One can only lead if others choose to follow. I am so so very fortunate that some folks have decided to follow along on my journey. Without them, it would be hard to take that next step and the one after it. We them the steps will difficult are easier to make. Please take care, Bill

       

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