Letters to Cari #2 August 20, 2014

20 Aug

Today is your 2nd day of school.  Your 2nd full day as a 4th grader, I only say this to give you a point of reference when you read this.  Most likely I am long gone, and you have matured a quite a bit, this is just my way of staying a part of your life.

Today I am going to talk a bit about our relationship, and one of the key components of our relationship.  That being trust.  Below is a picture of you and me taking a walk.  It was at a football game. a Hudson High Homecoming.  The red tee-shirt you have is a Hudson High Cougar tee-shirt I believe.  Your mom at the time was the coach of the cheer leaders, and your dad was actively involved in the Home Coming program that would take place at half time.  Your grandmother and I had been invited to come to the game and sit with you as your mom and did their thing.

Grandpa and Cari

Your grandmother took this picture as we began our walk.

At the time this photo was taken you were getting bored, and I invited you for a walk, it was before my disease had taken full force, and I wasn’t on oxygen at the time.  But that is immaterial, we got up from our seats, and began our walk. I reached down, you reached up, and we held hands, you showed your trust in me, you knew I had your best interest in my heart, and you knew I wouldn’t let anything bad happen.  Of course you didn’t say any of this, you were a little over 3 years old at the time, and your communications skills weren’t nearly as refined as they are today.  But this simple act of holding my hand exhibited so much trust.  We walked in the middle of the track, I was about a ¼ step in front, just enough to offer a buffer of protection, as we sundered around the track.  To my mind this was the 1st time you truly showed you trusted me.  You let me lead you, and we kinda chatted, I don’t have any recall of what we said, but I am sure you pointed out things that interested you, and I am sure I pointed out things that interested me.  That day we ended up walking one half way around the track.  They were setting up for the half time show so we decided to turn around the way we came, we stopped in the bouncy room, and then took our seats for the game.

This moment of trust, was the start.  In the coming weeks, months and years, we would  countless times of exhibiting trust towards each other.  Sometimes it manifested itself when we would play “sit on me Grandpa.”  Where you knew I would indeed sit on you, but that I wouldn’t put my entire weight on you.  You would giggle like mad, screaming joyfully “sit on me” “sit on me” “sit on me” as I squished you.  But never were you totally squished.  Else you would be a pancake now.  In other times it manifested itself in the pool, as we played countless games, and I took part it either dunking you or throwing you.  It also showed itself when you were learning to jump into the pool.

As children we are given the greatest gift in the world we trust everyone unconditionally.  We never think anyone or anything will harm us, our trust is so complete.  But as we age, even as children, our trust begins to faultier, we don’t trust that dog down the street as much, we don’t believe that kid is going to be kind, that adult doesn’t quite seem right.

Today you’re 9 years old, you are beginning to develop your own sense of trust, and you’re looking at things with your own eyes, and making your own decisions.   Your mind is setting up the guidelines by which you will soon be making the rules by which you will live the rest of your life.  This is an important time for you.  You are blessed with 2 wonderful parents that are doing everything in their power to ensure you have a good foundation by which you establish those rules.   You have good grandparents that all are trying to help influence you, you have a wide range of cousins helping, and you have your church and the influence it provide.  You have all the tools before you.

As you have trusted me in our childish games, and our quiet times of softly spoken conversations in my office.  I am trusting you to continue to make the good decisions, I am trusting you to grow and be the good person you’re heading towards being.   Cari, again trust me, you will make mistakes, that is a given.  Some mistakes will seem unbearable, others will seem very trivial, and still other times you will be greatly confused by your mistakes.  But Cari, they are all opportunities to learn and grow.

Cari, the growing process never stops.  I am 64 as I write this, and I am learning each day, and yes sweet granddaughter I make mistake, some big some small, and I learn from them just as you will.

Love Grandpa.

Folks as always if you have any thoughts, comments, concerns or questions please feel free to ask.  Take care, Bill


Posted by on August 20, 2014 in Letters to Cari, Treasure Box Stories


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16 responses to “Letters to Cari #2 August 20, 2014

  1. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap

    August 20, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    One of your most poignantly beautiful pieces. “I reached down and you reached up” is lovely. The photo, the words, the loving message, so full of heart. I can only imagine that years from now when a beautiful young lady named Cari reads this, probably for the 100th time, and basks in the love her grandfather showed her and continues to do so through his words. What a beautiful gift. ❤

    • FlaHam

      August 20, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      Paulette, I know it’s only a little be vain, but I do want to be remembered by Cari, hell I want all of you to remember me. Cari is my granddaughter, it’s almost impossible to love someone more than I love her. She is a major PIA from time to time but she is mine. These letters, these stories are all for her. Take care, Bill

  2. scriven

    August 20, 2014 at 1:11 pm

    Thank you Bill for you WOW (words of wisdom) to your little grand daughter. as usual, you take me back to my youth. When I was young, I had some Uncles who said words with meaning that I could fall on as I grew up. My grandparents were already gone by the time I came on the scene, My uncles and my Dad set me up for the rough spots in life. Everyone makes mistakes and that is how we all grow. every time those things happened to me, I would just talk out loud and say “I am having an educational experience”. One if my friends mentioned to me one day that I sure did have a Masters degree in Education. Couldn’t help but laugh. Who knew anyone was listening to me.

    • FlaHam

      August 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      Linda, What a beautiful comment, thank you so very very much. I am so glad to have been able to stir up memories for you. I have almost no memory of my dad’s parents. I have some flashes but nothing to grab. I have more memories of my Mom’s parents because they were closer and we spent so much more time there. And it those memories I have shared on my blog. Soft smile, this is my way of preserving the past. I am sure in years to come Cari will silently thank me. Heck Allison may well thank me, especially if I don’t write about her. LOL LOL Take care, Love Bill — btw the pool temp is still in the 90’s and it’s calling your name.

  3. Chatter Master

    August 20, 2014 at 5:52 pm

    Bill, the day she reads this she will sit there surrounded in the memory of you. And very likely, I don’t see how she couldn’t, feel you right there with her. What a beautiful capture of love and memories. Amazing.

    • FlaHam

      August 20, 2014 at 10:12 pm

      Colleen, Thank you, I have strived for the last 18 months to provide Cari, a view of me she will never get to see. I have shared with her a ton of info about me. Now I am sharing letters to her, I makes me feel good each time I address her. Thank again for all your support. Take care, Bill

  4. cinderellacindee

    August 21, 2014 at 12:53 am

    Beautiful and priceless xo

    • FlaHam

      August 21, 2014 at 8:21 am

      Cindy, Thank you, take care. Bill

  5. Brenda Davis Harsham

    August 25, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    What an adorable granddad you are.

    • FlaHam

      August 26, 2014 at 6:10 am

      Brenda, I don’t know about adorable, but I am kinda cute. Thank you for following along. Take care, Bill

  6. huntmode

    August 25, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    I am so envious of Cari and yet, I know my parents and my grandparents felt this way – we just didn’t say these things back then. Cari is a lucky grandchild and you are so fortunate to have thought of this way to be with her forever, Bill. Well done.

  7. Bill Hamilton

    August 26, 2014 at 6:06 am

    Hunt, Who know what the tuture brings. Maybe in the years to come someone will stumble upon one of my posts to Cari, and go damn that’s a great idea and immediately start their own letters to their grandchildren. I hope so. Thank you for always being so supportive. Please take care Bill.

  8. Jules

    August 26, 2014 at 10:57 am

    Hi Bill, I’m new to reading your blog and loved this entry to your granddaughter. You are an awesome grandad the way you are writing to her. I’m newly diagnosed with COPD and struggling to deal with it as I’m relatively young and never smoked. My son is also the same age as your granddaughter. Take care Jules

    • FlaHam

      August 26, 2014 at 11:05 am

      Jules, Thank you for stopping by, and thank you for admitting you have COPD. All I would as of you is please please please do not give up. If you have a son who is 9, you want to be around as long as humanly possible. Get a good doctor, someone you trust, if you have diet issues, start making some changes that will help, and you could be around a long long time. There are no set time frames for COPD, it travels thru each of us in it’s own pace. But you do have an opportunity to slow the progress. Also, I would start my own letters to your son and any future children you may have. Just don’t give up on yourself or give up on life. Please take care, and contact me anytime you want. My direct email is _dealingwithcopd@aol.com_ ( , please take care, Bill

  9. benzeknees

    August 30, 2014 at 12:43 am

    It’s nice you are leaving a legacy for your granddaughter to read & remember you by.

    • FlaHam

      August 30, 2014 at 11:06 am

      Benze, Thank you, that is exactly what this is all about. I would love to be a fly on the wall when she sits by herself and reading stories from my blog. Without doubt some will bore her eyes out. But others will tickle her to no end. Thank you again for your kind words. Take care, Bill


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