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How I Feel for the Week Ending 08.29.14…

Well the jukebox is back and completely functional, my new computer is sitting here humming away, and I have no excuses.  This post is going to be riddled with music references because I have missed so many opportunities to share with you the music I have been missing during my recent computer mishap.  So without further ado here is our first sidebar: Right off for my wonderful Canadian Friends I have heard several tunes from our favorite Nickelback; including “Next Contender,” “This Means War,” and “Bottoms Up.”  Also I have indulged in Five Finger Death Punch, Led Zepplin, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden to start the day. 

There really hasn’t been any change at all in status since last week, if anything this week was an improvement over last week.  Yes SOB is still a critical issue, yes I get winded getting winded, yes I need to gather myself before tackling and working my way thru any chore, yes I am coughing and while the cough is productive there is no yellow to it.  All of these things while the same are different and if for no other reason this is a better week because the heat and humidity has been slightly lower.  Sidebar: we have been listening to Halestorm, Gemini Syndrome, The Black Eyed Peas and Shinedown this set.

This week besides the normal visit from Hospice (and a couple of addon visits) I had only one medical appointment this week which was with Doc Lungs.  First, Doc Lungs seems to think I am doing okay, he checked the vitals and listened to my lungs.  He commented that they sounded “normal” for me.  Someday I am going to have to listen to my lungs then immediately listen to the lungs of someone who doesn’t have respiratory issues.  That would be quite interesting and most likely equally educational. This week, besides my normal Thursday visit with my Hospice nurse, I was also visited by Respiratory Therapist from Hospice, and he noticed my weight lost, and stated I sound like I always do,  In addition I was also visited by the Hospice social worker, just checking my head to see if it was still screwed on correctly.  I am assuming I passed her muster because no one has been by today with that special jacket. Other than my normal weekly visit by the Hospice nurse I have no repeat no medical appointments scheduled.

Per usual and considering everything available to me, I am going to rank myself as 2.75 for the week, yes it is a touch higher, but the heat and humidity have been lower and I haven’t ventured out much this week, so that is a fair assessment of my physical health for the week.  Sidebar;  More Nickelback, Lucinda Williams, Heart, Seether, Theory of a Dead Man, and Van Halen have provided the musical background for this portion of the weekly report.  Mental health continues at a 9 level, I refuse to be down more than 7 or 8 consecutive minutes.  Of course this rating doesn’t include the normal aches and pains of everyday life.

So to wrap up week ending 08.29.14, we are ranking the week an overall 2.75, with a 9 on the attitude scale.  So we can move on to the vitals for the week ending 08.29.14

 

  • INR = 2.3 taken 08.25.14 – no change in meds

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 94 taken 8.28.14 – earlier in week O2 level as low as 77 after brief walk, took 15 minutes of resting to reach 93  

  • Peak Flow = 210 taken 8.28.14

  • BP = 112/68 taken 8.28.14 – earlier in the week it was as high as 132/80

  • Heart rate = 105 taken 8.28.14

  • Temp = 99.35 taken 08.28.14

  • Weight = 259 taken 08.28.14

 

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 08.08.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect. This week I would like to spend a couple of minutes of your time say thank you for being here for me.

This will be my 302th post in the 2 plus years I have been writing this blog.  Over that period I have accumulated 378 “followers,” I have received over 2,000 comments and have responded to 98 percent of them so my total comments are over 4,000, and I have been viewed over 16,500 times.

If I could I would write an individual note to each of the people who follow me for whatever reason they do and thank them personally. I would. I would take that moment and say without them, without their support, without their comments, this blog may have died on the vine.  So collectively thank you.  Thank you for the time you spend with me, thank you for reading my words and sometimes sharing them with your followers.  I also want to thank you for each and every comment including the smiley faces and kisses.  Sometimes so much can be said with an emotional icon.

I want to thank you for indulging my rants and rages, and my sometimes melancholy posts.  Smiling also thank you for listening to my endless babble regarding how I feel for a given period of time.

As I struggle with my COPD, my blog has become my beacon, my shelter, my friend, and the pillow I cry on. It has provided me strength and a place to display my sense of humor, as well as, my serious side.  But even more importantly it has become something special to my friends and followers.  I can’t even imagine what it means to everyone that reads my blog, but they do so for their own reasons.  Some because they to suffer from COPD, some because someone they love suffers from this or another terminal disease.   My blog isn’t a cure, I am not a doctor, I am a patient just like so many of my readers.  I draw strength from my readers and hopefully they draw some from me as well.  I know that without my readers my world would be much more difficult, and the battle that much harder.  I do believe that without you it would be easier for me to throw in the towel and give up.  But I gather strength and courage from YOU my readers, my friends, my cyber family.  Thank you so very much for all you have given.  And for all that I know you will continue to give.

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring them to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 

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Letters to Cari, #3 August 25, 2014….

Your only 9 years old and you have done many things to make me very happy and very proud.  As you read these letters you will find they aren’t really in a natural progression, more so as they come to mind.  But I will try to identify as best I can when they happened.  Smiling and trust me, many of our shared moments come to mind open. 

This particular incident occurred at the Christmas Pageant during your 3rd grade year.  Your mom and dad told us you had a part in the pageant but didn’t go into specific detail. 

As normal we (your grandma and I) are quite early, but that did get us good parking. And because of it we got to participate in many of the Christmas activities going on.  In particular you sat and visited with me as I sipped the hot chocolate you had gotten me.  We chatted about numerous things none of which changed the world but I just enjoyed that moment.  By the way you were dressed to the “nines” and looked as cute as you could be (as the below picture attests).

 

3rd Grade Christmas Show
3rd Grade Christmas Show

  

At long last we were advised it was time to move into the cafeteria because the show was about to begin.  Much to your Grandma’s and my great astonishment as we walked into the cafeteria we found we had stepped into a full house.  There must have been 300 or 400 people crammed to the space, everyone was jockeying for the best possible place to take pictures of their beloved children.  Your grandma and I were trying as well, but we ended up be shoved into the corner far away from where you were performing.  The program was simple enough that allowed full participation from your choir.  

Of course I don’t remember the entire program, I do remember the trash can drums, and thinking that was pretty cool.  Then your group came up on stage.  If memory serves you were in the 2nd row, about 5 or 6 right to left across the stage, and I know your mom or dad will be able to tell me exactly where you stood.  Your group performed a couple of songs and I remember watching you from the back 40 of the cafeteria and thinking she is really into it tonight.  

After either the 2nd or third song there as a shift in the performers on the stage. You came down from your perch and took a position center stage before the microphone and waited as appropriate.  When the music again started you began reading your part from the script you before you on the music stand.  I was astonished by how clearly you read your part, the clarity of your voice, how you announced each word correctly, and with the changes in inflection of your voice as you read.  It was amazing to see such a young lady with so much poise. 

I remember thinking when I was your age I could barely say my own name without sounding even more childish than I was.  I also remember how surprised I was with your ease in front of all those cameras, the flash of pictures being taken, and how all the movement around you did phase you at all.  It was like watching a miniature anchorperson going thru the news. This picture shows you looking at the paper on the music stand, but as you “performed” you would look up from your page and make eye contact, a feat I didn’t feel comfortable doing until I was well into my 20’s.  Yet it appeared so normal for you. 

You are extremely photogenic, and it showed in how presented yourself before that large crowd.  Smiling I can almost see an actress in the making, the smiling a leading lady, or the anchor of the evening news. 

Cari, I had seen you perform a few times before this event, and while your were a good and active participate, you seemed to hold back a little. This time you were all in and  your performance was outstanding.  It was so much fun to watch, and even more fun to brag about you later.  Take care, Love, Grandpa 

Folks, as always if you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to send them to me.  Take care, Bill  

 
 

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Come to Church…

On Sunday Easter April 20, 2014, I reaffirmed my faith in God, and that his son Jesus died for me, so I would be forgiven for my sins and poor choices.  It wasn’t an easy choice, yet it was very easy. 

Sometimes I claim that I am not the sharpest crayon in the box, my understanding of today’s (August 10, 2014) sermon “Foot Work,” may prove the point.  The scripture for today came from Romans 10:14-15 and I have read it to say in essence that for the word of God to get out there, someone has to take it out to the folks and spread the word.  I believe it goes on further to say that for folks to teach and spread the word someone has to send them out to do so.  As a Christian I believe I have some responsibility for getting the message out.  The below video was shared with us today, and it is sharing the message.

 

 

During the many years I searched I have opened my door the countless times for the Mormons and other groups, I shared a few moments with them, accepted their booklet, sometimes even a prayer and we parted they had completed their Mission, soft smile they led the donkey to the water, but couldn’t make the donkey drink.  Years later the donkey was once again led to the water, this time by my wife.  She led but didn’t try to force the donkey to drink, she let me drink when I was ready. 

Consider this video to be my attempt to lead those of you who desire to be led.  Drink when you want and need.

As always if you have questions concerns or comments please feel free to ask.  Take care, Bill

 

 

 
12 Comments

Posted by on August 10, 2014 in Music, Observations, Ramblings, Treasure Box Stories

 

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Touting My Own Horn

A few weeks ago I went to considerable effort to let everyone know that my blog www.DealingwithCOPD.wordpress.com had been recognized by Healthline.com as one of “The Best COPD Blogs of the Year.”  I would not have known my blog had received this recognition had it not been for a friend at the Daily Strength Emphysema & COPD Support Group. I was extremely honored and had to brag about the recognition and you’ll got it pushed on you LOL. 

For those that know me and are used to me, know I stumbled pretty bad at accepting praise.  For the first year or so if someone said something nice about my BLOG I went to pretty big lengths to down play whatever kind words that were said.  Then early this year I had the light bulb turned on in my head.  Huntmode had her fingers on the switch and turned it to the on position. In that moment of clarity I came to realize how I had been insulting the folks that had been going out of their way to express their appreciation for my efforts.  I can’t thank them enough for their patience and support, and forgiving my knuckle-headness.

Now that I have completed my normally long opening remarks on to the meat of the matter.  Apparently my friend over at DS wasn’t the only person looking at that list of best blogs.  One of the web producers for remedyhealthmedia.com who is also an editor for HealthCentral found my BLOG because of the recognition it got as being one of the best COPD Blogs.  Then I got the below from that editor.

“Hi Bill, I’m an editor for HealthCentral.com looking for COPD bloggers. I came across your wonderful blog and would love to talk with you about writing for our site. If you’re interested, please email me at XXXXXXXXX@remedyhealthmedia.com. I hope to hear from you soon.”

I did in fact contact the editor, and we talked a couple of times.  I explained that I wasn’t a doctor or nurse or someone with any medical knowledge.  I was assured they weren’t looking to me for any medical information.  They wanted a blogger that wrote from the personal perspective, without drama or non-sense, and with a positive mental attitude, which pretty much sums up my blog.

They have an expectation that I will provide at least one acceptable post a month, but would gladly accept 2 posts per month.  I will write about topics that both I and the editor agree too, but the kicker is that the posts can’t be longer than 700 words no few than 500 (or there abouts).  As you’ll know I can hardly say hello in less than 700 words. So I am sure the 500 word minimum will be met without issue.

After careful consideration I have agreed to the terms as offered by HealthCentral, and I am completing the required paperwork.  I have no idea when or what the 1st post will be, we haven’t got that far. To top it off, smiling, I will be compensated for each accepted post.

So folks I am tooting my own horn, but please understand without you, your friendship, your support, your help, and your praise I wouldn’t be anywhere near this. Thank you, thank you so very much. 

If you have any questions please feel free to ask.  Concerns and comments are always appreciated. Take care, Bill

BTW this post is a record short post for me it is only 564 words.

 
38 Comments

Posted by on August 9, 2014 in Observations, Ramblings, Treasure Box Stories

 

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How I Feel for the Week Ending 08.08.14

I missed posting last week, because I was busy and was putting it off, and didn’t really have anything of substance to address. Hell I don’t know why that stopped me, there are lots of weeks I don’t have anything of substance to report but I do anyway.  Today’s music selections start with Toby Keith’s “Blue Bedroom,” and yes you will get a running commentary of the music during this report.  My last reported dated 7.25.14 spoke of the upcoming invasion of my wife’s good friends.  Well they have come and gone, and a wonderful time was had by all.  It wasn’t as difficult as it could have been, and I wouldn’t have missed their visit for any reason.

It has been a particularly trying 2 weeks since my last report breathing.  The heat, the humidity, has caused a constant issue with SOB.  As for breathing the only time I really have felt comfortable at all is just sitting on my ass, but I refuse to do that.  I have managed to keep up with (my self-imposed) chores, and I have stopped and taken breaks when I needed them, which really has been often.  There has only been a very slight increase in coughing the last couple days.  But that cough has been for the most part very unproductive.  The IPod random selector has been in strange mode today, I started off country, and have had 3 selections from Lewis Black (my favorite comedian) intermixed with Jimi Hendrix, Journey, CSN and Aretha Franklin.  These shifts in music really change the pace of my head LOL. Yet at the end of the day when I am brushing my teeth I will have a massive coughing spasm, which is extremely productive.  It’s almost like a pre precursor to an exacerbation, and while I am not down playing the significance of the words, I am not ready to race around shouting the warning.  But I am keeping a very sharp watch.   The only other ongoing medical issue is that I have had a super low grade headache for what seems like weeks.  It is more an annoyance than anything.  It doesn’t worsen in the bright sunlight, and being in the dark makes no difference and playing my music loud has no impact.  It’s just there.  Yes I have advised Hospice and my team of doctors, no one seems overly concerned because by my own admission other than a tiny bit of annoyance it’s not a problem.

I had only one medical appointment this week which was with Doc Head. Without going into a single detail, we talked, and it was good.  Oh what the heck, we talked about my Blog. Last week I was stood up by Hospice.  The nurse that comes to my home weekly and checks me had advised me that she wouldn’t be coming last Thursday, BUT I would be visited by Hospice.  Well that didn’t happen.  So after a stern talking to this morning I was advised that in the future, if I haven’t been contacted by Hospice in a timely fashion regarding an upcoming “scheduled” visit to call them and put them on the spot.  I am quite capable of doing that, and in the future I will abide to this unless circumstances beyond my control prevail. 

I will also admit I am relying on the Morphine for the relief it gives for my SOB.  I have yet to use the maximum of 6 doses on any given day, but will admit that there are times I look forward to that next dose. 

Considering everything available to me, I am going to rank myself as 2.5 for the week.  Of course this rating doesn’t include the normal aches and pains of everyday life. Sidebar; we have been listening to Billie Holiday, Moody Blues, Montgomery Gentry, Nickelback, Cream, Eric Clapton (playing blues), Ray Charles and Muddy Waters during this session. As for my mental attitude I am a 9 this week.  I woke up each day so far, and have found more reasons to smile than frown.  It is difficult to be better than that.

So to wrap up week ending 08.08.14, we are ranking the week an overall 2.5, with a 9 on the attitude scale.  So we can move on to the vitals for the week ending 08.08.14

  • INR = 2.6 taken 07.28.14 – no change in meds

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 95 taken 8.07.14 — but during the last 2 weeks I have found myself to be as low as 79 pct a few times.  A few deep breaths and some afrin seem to clear things up and my O2 level jumps back into the 90’s

  • Peak Flow = 210 taken 8.07.14

  • BP = 110/64 taken 8.07.14

  • Heart rate = 95 taken 8.07.14

  • Temp = 98.5 taken 08.07.14

  • Weight = 263 taken 08.07.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 08.08.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect. This week I will be giving my 2nd official report on the Hospice “experience.”

On June 1, 2014 I posted my 1st official report on being under the care of Hospice.  At the time I advised that it wouldn’t be a regular weekly report but one that I would share from time to time. Going into my 6th month under the care of Hospice I thought I should provide a view from the front row.  Since my involvement with Hospice there has been only 2 weeks where someone from Hospice did not visit my home.  One was planned, the other I fell thru the cracks.  I am sure if I were displaying serious signs of illness I wouldn’t dropped thru the crack.   Folks shit happens and sometimes the best laid plans don’t work.  I was busy last Thursday and them not visiting allowed me to get other things done.    That is my biggest gripe.  Not bad for a 6 month period.  Now on to the nuts and bolts of this report.  Each week I can expect to be contacted by Hospice at least twice.  One is a call that comes in around 930am each Thursday.  This call is a medicine check.  I am called by a cheerful volunteer that gathers the needed info and passes it on.  The reason for the Thursday morning call is that allows Hospice time to fill the medicine, and deliver it to my home by 5pm on Friday.  They make 2 attempts to deliver each Friday then they will call you until they contact you, and then make the delivery.  I know this because I am so anal and I will call for a prescription refill before it is needed. I will make the refill request even if I have plenty to get thru the weekend.  So getting the delivery is not an issue as long as I have it by Monday or Tuesday at the latest. While it may not be an issue to me, it sure is to them.  If I say I need meds it becomes their mission to get me the medicines before COB (close of business) on Friday.  They are always supper polite, and I have never been asked if I can wait until Monday.  There is only one place I get better service that’s my Publix Pharmacy, but Publix makes me pay, and they don’t deliver so it becomes a push.  The 2nd call is my nurse scheduling my weekly visit.  This visit consists of my nurse taking my vitals, and “chatting” with me, I am sure part of the chat is to check the status of my head.  Clearly (at least to me) they are checking for signs of depression, or negative drug reactions, making sure I haven’t fallen, that my mobility isn’t an issue, and probably several more little things I haven’t quite figured out.

Each month I am also called and visited by a counselor, again to check me out.  Offering to have volunteers come in to do chores around the house, to do some grocery shopping for me, or just to sit and visit.  So far I have passed on these offers.  As I have stated before I can still manage my chores they take far longer, but I still get them done.  I go to the grocery store 3 or 4 times a week to pick up odd and ends, and to flirt.  I also use the aisles as my exercise area, pushing the shopping cart up and down up and down up and down. I can only walk by the ladies hygiene area so many times before management watches LOL LOL. JUST KIDDING!!!.  But those trips to Publix are therapeutic.  My best buddy Art comes over at least twice a week to BS and play cribbage.  While I appreciate the offered services, until I absolutely need them I will manage on my own and with the support of my wife, family and friends.  Sidebar; it has been an extremely interesting day of music, with some comedy thrown in.  I am especially tuned to the head banging music of Marlyn Manson followed immediately by Reba McIntire, that may account for why some of my post seems disjointed.

I have yet to use all the offered services that are available to me from Hospice, but as time passes and my condition changes I am sure I will have my opportunities.    So far I have only spoke to those things I have 1st hand knowledge of, if you have a question please feel free to ask.  I will find out and let you know how it would be handled by these folks if or when I need that service.

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring them to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 

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I Won 87,000,000 Today on Slotomania ….

This my friends is just a stupid, fun, non-sensible post.  It speaks of a couple of hours I wasted in today, 2 hours I will never get back, 2 hours that other than make me smile had no purpose.  It’s also costing me another 2 hours to write about it, so I can share it with you.  If you’re not about wasting any time today, smiling you can past this post right on by.

As many of you know I have 5 nebulized treatments per day, sometimes that could be as high as 7 depending on how rough a day I am having breathing.  I really hate wasting my time nebulizing, so while time-consuming, nebulizing is important but just sitting with the mask on while the nebulizer does its’ thing can boring.  So while I medicate, I generally read and respond to emails, chat with friends if they are online, or play stupid Facebook games.  Over the years I have consumed a lot of time playing those stupid games.

Just to show you my level of involvement over the years I have been on Facebook I have been involved with Farmvile, FarmTown, ESPNVille, Hidden Items, Texas Hold Them, Candy Crush (Level 92), 3D Slots, Vegas Slots, that save the Pet game to name a few and concurrently I would be playing Hearts, Spades, or Double Deck Pinochle on Yahoo.  But the games I am currently loyal too are; Words with Friends and Slotomania.  If you are a person with little vocabulary skills you should consider challenging me, you will generally win.  But today’s post is about how I did today playing Slotomania.  Of course I will branch out and talk about other things but the jest of the post is that I won 87,000,000 points today playing Slotomania.  I played two different slot machines; King of Gold, minimum pull 10 points, don’t have a clue what the maximum pull is I have yet to do it.  Though when things go well I will bet, as much as, 100K per pull.  Let me be 100 percent clear on this, I do not have single penny invested in the game, I have never bought extra chips, or additional pulls, I play with what the game gives me. Today I when I started my point total was a little over 500K, I started with King of Gold at 25,000 per pull.  I got real lucky and ran my original 500K up to 4M.  By the time I had run my winning up to 4M I was betting 50K per pull.  It was one of those days.  Once I got a little over 4M I changed games to Nashville Nights (it’s one of the “High Roller” games available) minimum bet 100,000 per pull.  It was my intent to play 100K pulls until I lost back down to my starting point of which was 500K.  Being honest at 100K per pull if you’re not lucky you can lose 3.5 Million quickly, I know I have done it often.  But today wasn’t my normal day.  Today was a lucky day. 

I was hitting the button with great authority today, watching the wheels spin and spin, watching winner after winner fall into place, winning millions and millions on a single pull.  I was the Zen Master of the Slotomania Game today. At one point I was up to 23 million point only to lose all by 3 million, then again to immediately  push it back up to 17 million.  Only again to lose down to 1 million.  My goal was to at worse play until I reached the 500,000 that I started the day with.  But every time I got close to that magic number I went on yet another winning streak, pushing my winning back into the millions and millions.  Finally I just got bored with winning, so I stopped when I played back down to 15,500,000 my starting place plus 15 million, not bad for 2 hours work.  All told over 87 million points passed thru my fingers today. It indeed was a good day.

Now that I have talked about how stupidly I gambled today, let me take a moment and talk about being a responsible gambler.  The reason I could throw away so much is because it wasn’t real, it had no value, not a single bit of good came from it other than me smiling when I stopped.  Gambling is very serious, when I was a kid I was taught one rule about gambling, never lost more than you can afford, and I can say with complete honesty I have never lost more than I could afford. PERIOD. NEVER. NOT ONCE.  I have X amount in my wallet to  gamble and that was it, I have never visited an ATM at any casino.  Folk’s gambling is very serious.  You can lose everything, and then more, and then you can lose anything.  It can and does eat you up and spit you out.  It is as addictive as any drug.  The thrill of winning, of hearing all the noise, seeing the lights flash when you strike it big can get under your skin real quick.  But you MUST ALWAYS REMEMBER, that if the players (the collective us) wins on anything that remotely resembles a regular basis, there would not be an open casino in the world.  The Casino’s only exist because people lose their hard-earned money there.  It wonderful to win 87,000,000 points in a day, but remember I pissed all but 15,500,000 away, the house wins even at Facebook.

Folks, as always if you have any questions concerns or issues with my post please feel free to talk to me about it.  Take care, Bill

 
20 Comments

Posted by on August 5, 2014 in Humor, Observations, Ramblings

 

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A Sisters’ Kinda Weekend….

My wife Steph had company this past weekend.  3 of her best friends in the world for the last 36 years came to Tampa for the weekend.  This wasn’t the 1st visit nor will it be the last visit.  Over the years Steph has gone north to visit with these friends time and again.

I have known these ladies only slightly less than Steph, but I don’t know them as well as Steph and I could never hope to. Steph could not have gone out and picked 3 finer people to be her best friends.  While they all have their little horns, their hearts are made of pure gold, and the friendship and love they share for each other is deeper than the Grand Canyon.

The Sisters   

As you look you see Bonnie on the far left, Jean, Linda, and of course Steph.  Bonnie is the reserved shy one, Jean is the court Jester and instigator of mucho trouble, Linda is the Matriarch, and Steph (as I choose my words wisely) is the somewhat quiet calming influence and organizer.  But for all I know Steph could be hell on wheels when she travels north to be with her friends.

I know I was privileged to be around them.  My duties were limited to cooking breakfast and being the sober driver.  Both jobs I took quite seriously, and had a lot of interaction with the ladies in that limited capacity LOL.  Each day I excused myself to go take a nap, but I am sure being the fly on the wall would have been fun.  But this isn’t about me, it’s about them.  The friendship they have built over the years and the effort they have gone thru to make sure they didn’t grow apart.  

They met through their membership in BPW (Business and Professional Woman) almost 36 years ago. After they left BPW they continue their friendship via a monthly (or so) breakfast club, I think at one time the breakfast club was up to six, but the core was these four lovely ladies.  I went a few times, Allison has gone several times, and I am sure there have been others that cycle thru the breakfast club. They met at a variety of local restaurants in the Northern Virginia area.

After Steph and I moved to Florida, she began getting calls from the Club on random Saturday mornings. Smiling over the years many a Saturday morning Steph would get a call from a hysterically insane giggling Jean just to say hi to Steph.  I only heard Steph’s side of these conversations, but I know she spoke to everyone in attendance, and I know from time to time she was laughing so hard she almost pee’d her pants.  Being on the sidelines and watching this, is and has been hilarious.

The way they share warmth and bond, you would never know that they see each other only occasionally.  To an outsider they appear to be quite normal (which they aren’t), and most would think that the four of them together is a common event, it isn’t.  It would be hard to fathom that most of Steph’s communications with them comes via Facebook or AOL, except for Bonnie who is about 2 steps behind the technology curve.  They are so natural together.  They can and do finish each other’s sentences, they laugh at the same parts of movies, and I am sure they share their deepest secrets to each other, knowing that secret will be safe forever.

This was a weekend for relaxing and that is exactly what the ladies did.  Breakfast was served around 9 or so. I cooked, and I know I busted some diet plans.  Smiling, and they really enjoyed breakfast.  After breakfast it was into the pool.  The insanity was contagious.  As they floated in the pool wine was served or bourbon was served on vodka was consumed.  The ladies enjoyed themselves.  Light snacks were all afternoon long, it was help yourself to whatever you could find that you wanted.  The evenings were spent out to dinner and home for a movie or TV show or a DVD.  More wine was consumed, as well as, vodka and bourbon.  LMAO this paragraph would imply that the 4 ladies drank, and to be honest they did LOL. But they knew they were in a safe haven, and nobody got stupid, nobody got drunk. They consumed just enough to keep them all giggling.  Which is far better than most of the “all guy” golf trips I have been on.

To be honest I toned them out, it was their weekend, I intentionally tried not to listen to conversations I thought to be private. I was the bump on the log.  I rarely could add anything of substance to their conversations, because it was about them, their memories, their stories, and their friendship.  But bless their hearts they did try to engage me, and I am honored that they trusted me enough that there were not totally reserved around me.

On Tuesday morning Steph and I took them back to the airport.  With a great deal of hugs, kisses and promises that I know will be kept they headed home.  They took with them great memories of the weekend, and left many a smile on Steph and my face.  Steph is blessed to have 3 such friends, friends that will look after her, her entire life, friends who she will watch out and care for, for their lives.

Folks as always if you have any questions or comments please feel free to ask, but be aware this is one time I can’t promise to answer them all.  Take care, Bill

 
23 Comments

Posted by on July 30, 2014 in Humor, Ramblings

 

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How I Feel for the Week Ending 07.25.14…

Good day folks, my home has been invaded by three of the dearest friends my wife has in the world.  They are the loveliest, sweetest, wonderfulist, grandest folks you would ever want to meet and they all read this, so I am not saying anything harsh, they know where I live.  But for the next 5 days (starting late last night) my role around the house will be that of H.R. Step and Fetch, and duty chauffeur for the lot.  That’s not to say I won’t have my fun, just that I am sure I will be busy.  Weather here in Tampa is working its’ way back to normal, with afternoon thunderstorms, and a ton of rain in selected spots. The humidity is normal for the conditions, which just means if you’re outside you will have issues breathing.

I had 2 medical appointments this week, one with Doc Head, and the other my normally scheduled visit with Hospice. 

The appointment with Doc Head was helpful as always. I did speak to her about a concern/fear I was having regarding someone who starts reading my blog, as I begin my journey towards the end of retirement.  The symptoms I display and the information I provide may be a tad bid disconcerting to someone who themselves are just being diagnosed with COPD.  My concern lies in the potential impact my blog may have on mindset of someone in the mild or moderate range of the disease, and reading about what the end stage is like.  Being honest my recollection of the conversation is a bit muddy, but I believe (or want to believe) that I need to remind folks that I had all the symptoms of COPD for almost 20 years before I was officially diagnosed with the disease (at the moderate stage) and it’s been well over 10 years since that formal diagnoses.  

Doc Head also suggested that I do in fact report weekly on my mental state, to clearly show that while the body may be headed in one direction, the mind and attitude does not have to follow.  So effective this week I will in fact be giving a score on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 equals less than piss poor, and 10 is friggin great, and there will be no half or quarter points.  So for the week ending July 25, 2014, my mental health score is 8.  Remember this number has no bearing on my how I feel physically number, and there is no unified number that combines them.  For references purposes the week I had lunch with Colleen and her husband was a 12.

This week during my normal Hospice visit, my nurse and I discussed a multitude of different things. Of course we had the weekly “what is important to me question” to which I answered having a great weekend because Steph’s friends were visiting was important to me.  We also talked about pain (beyond plain old getting old pain) and my pain level.  My current nurse is leaving Hospice to pursue other job opportunities and will only be with me a couple more weeks. I should expect to meet my new nurse soon.  A common complaint I have had for weeks and weeks is that I just don’t sleep as well as I should or need to.  More than once I have asked the prescribing doctor if he would increase the dosage, to which he has said “No.”  I do understand no, and have left that alone.  I did suggest to Hospice that maybe because I have used this drug (Zolpidem Tartrate 10mg) for such an extended timeframe that maybe my body has become accustomed to it, much like it has to some antibiotics, and is no longer effective. The nurse said she would address this with the Team Doctor and advise me.  We also talked about my SOB and the impact it has on my day to day existence.  I can barely walk across the width of my home without stopping to gather myself.  More and more it takes less and less to cause me to stop and gather myself.  I would be lying if I said that the drugs don’t help they do especially the morphine sulfate.  I am allowed a dosage every 4 hours (as needed) which equals 6 doses a day. I have never done 6 doses in a day, I have always found enough quiet time to prevent me going there.  But there are times when I could do 2 or 3 doses in a 4 hour period, but haven’t.  

Considering all the information I am going to rank myself as 2.5 for the week.  Of course this rating doesn’t include the normal aches and pains of everyday life.

So to wrap up week ending 07.25.14, we are ranking the week an overall 2.5, but the attitude is an 8.  So we can move on to the vitals for the week ending 07.25.14

  • INR = 2.3 taken 06.30.14 – next test will be 07.28.14 – but no change in meds

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 93 taken 7.24.14

  • Peak Flow = 205 taken 7.25.14

  • BP = 118/68 taken 7.24.14

  • Heart rate = 92 taken 7.24.14

  • Temp = 98.7 taken 07.24.14

  • Weight = 266 taken 07.24.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 07.25.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect. This week I have chosen the statement “How I choose a word or phrase for this portion of the post” as the word/phrase of the week. Again this week there will be no dictionary definition because one doesn’t exist.  So I will be speaking off the cuff again today.

It really is quite simple.  If during the week I see a doctor, or read a post, or witness an event (medical or not), or have a conversation either live or in chat, or someone has made a suggestion, if it has meaning to me, if I have experienced it, if my imagination catches it and grabs it, I will write about it.  Some weeks I will write down 8 or 9 potential words or phrases to talk about, other weeks I struggle right up to the moment I get to this portion of my post. I will stare at the screen, I will stick a word or phrase in, and if it doesn’t take off then, I keep searching, until the right word hits me at the right time.  The meter for if it grabs me or not is short.  If I am not typing at full speed, and my brain not working overtime throwing words out with moments I discard that word or phrase until the right one pops.  Twice over the weeks I started with a word then threw it out, only to come back 3 or 4 weeks later and write 5 or 6 hundred words on the topic word.  Also there is no minimum amount of words I will use when describing my feeling towards a word or phrase.  I write until I am done, or until I think you have heard enough.  Smiling that’s the point I am now on this phrase.  Thank you.

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring them to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 

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A Letter to Cari, July 2014….

Hi Sweetie, I have known you for just over 9 years and 2 months. I met you when you were about an hour old, and held you when you a little over 24 hours old.  You captured my heart the moment we met.  Cari you have been magically special to me since that very 1st day.  I am sure by the time you read this I will have reached the end of retirement, and probably by a good bit.  But I wanted to spend some time with you today recalling and recollecting. 

You are my only grandchild, and because of that I have done everything in my power to help spoil you, and I don’t care who knows.  Your grand mom and I have showered you with gifts and treats.  But don’t let your mom kid you, we did the same thing to your mother as she grew up.  She was just as much a princess at 9 as you are at 9.  But the similarities don’t end there. Your mom as a blond until she was 10 or 11, she enjoyed reading, she was tall for her age group, sports were something she did cause she was told she had to participate (much like you are told) she was good in school, but had to be pushed at some subjects just like you, she had a great enjoyment for music, and you seem to have inherited that as well, and heck even a tiny bit of me has rubbed off because you seem to like the “blues” when we are alone in the car listening to the radio.  Your mom and I also shared some tastes in music for years, but hers likes changed as she grew, while mine stayed rooted.  She, like you she was a beautiful little girl.  And Cari at 9 you indeed a beautiful little lady, dressed up or dressed down, your beauty can’t be taken from you.

I have found you to be much more respectful of my illness than I anticipated.  You have grown up seeing me ill, using oxygen, and being limited in how far I could go with my oxygen line.  You have grown up seeing the cannula in my nose and this wasn’t a reason for not giving me a kiss on the cheek.  You acceptance of my health issues will be of significance to you as you age.   The kindness and consideration you automatically displayed to me will be of great comfort to many folks during your lifetime.  Never stop caring for others Cari.

Since our earliest times we have played well together for the most part.  “Sit on me Grandpa” has always been one of my favorites.  Smiling we have played WII bowling numerous times and you have consistently kicked my butt, LOL I think you cheat at “go fish,” but I can’t prove it and you always win.  And the 1st time you did the “I Got Yahtzee” dance about made me pee my pants.  It was the cutest thing I had ever seen, but I did grow tired of it by the 3rd time that game. LOL LOL. Because your mom was also playing and getting her butt kicked also, she didn’t have a good time, and we both teased her.  You’re like me, my family, and your mom, you don’t seem to like to lose, and can be quite gleeful when you win.  Heck you might even rub it in a bit more than necessary.  But I can handle it, just be aware your mom is extremely competitive and will enjoy beating you a card and board games.  Then there is the XBOX360, and your love of the racing games, that just tickles me to death.  Nobody wanted to play my racing games until you showed up, and I love the racing games.  We have sat in my office for hours play Sega Racing, and now we are moving on to the more sophisticated racing games that use lifelike cars, on genuine racetracks from around the world.  I really enjoyed that. Smiling, we have had a ton of fun together.  We spent hours laying together in my and grand mom’s bed watching movie after move, or in the office, watching the Disney Channel until I thought my head was going to explode.  I remember the countless times you sat patiently waiting for me to finish up something on the computer before we began play.  I don’t ever remember you interrupting me to ask if I was finished, you always showed every bit of your patience.  Cari I have added a picture of us playing Wii when you were 7.

Playing Wii

 

Do you realize that it is because of you that your grand mom and I bought this home? It had to have a swimming pool, a place for our grand baby to play, to laugh, scream, jump, giggle, and have water fights, dunking, splash battles and learning to swim.  We knew you were coming long before you got here.  And we made sure that our home would be a place you always felt welcome, and knew you could always rest your head. 

Cari there is so much I haven’t even addressed, for instance your performances at dance recitals, or taking part in the Christmas pageant or your performances at school choir events.  We haven’t talked about going to the movies, or when I took you and your Mom and Dad up to Kentucky to introduce you to your great-grandmother, and your great uncles and aunt. Or how you are growing up in a digital world and adapting so well. I have a ton more to say, probably a lot you probably don’t even remember.  But I will share my memories with you so you can have mine.  This will be part of my gift to you.

Love, Grandpa.

Folks, as you know when I am not writing about my fight with COPD I write stories for my granddaughter.  It is my way of being here for her at the end of my retirement.   95 percent of the stories to date have been about me, my family, my adventures, my life, my daughter, and on and on, which will be great for Cari to learn about me, and I will continue to write those stories.  But I have decided, to write specific letters to Cari, where I will reflect on events that happened between Cari and I. 

As always if you have any questions, concerns or issues please feel free to contact me. Take care and have a good day.  Bill

 
34 Comments

Posted by on July 23, 2014 in Letters to Cari, Ramblings

 

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Another Sports Story…. A Treasure Box Story

Somewhere in the fine print I have talked briefly about my enjoyment of bowling.  As many of you know, my 1st sports love is golf, at my best I was only poorly good at it, but I loved it.  Bowling I was pretty good, never great, but I didn’t embarrass myself at a bowling alley.

My earliest memories of bowling were as a kid, Dad taking the family on bowling adventures.  I have no idea what I may have bowled, the only a few clear memories is that I did so in sock feet, and Dad only took us a few times. 

I started bowling in earnest when I joined the Navy, it was one of 5 main events to do while in port and not working, in no particular order these five activities were; golf, bowling, drinking, cards and go-cart racing.  The changing of money always took place no matter the activity.  During my Navy years I won more often than not, playing card, go-cart racing and bowling.  I could hold my own at golf, and we were all pros at drinking. 

But this is about bowling.  I don’t care what anyone says about bowling it is a sport.  And as much as I loved golf, I never really practiced, but I practiced at bowling, and I practiced hard.  I was never in more than 1 league at a time, and unless involved in a tournament I only bowled 3 games a week in competition. But for years I would bowl an additional 30 games a week in practice. I worked to make myself better, and I changed equipment when I felt it would help my game and at one point even had a coach.

I was involved in league bowling for 23 consecutive years.  I was involved in youth bowling for 5 years, 3 of those my daughter bowled, and then I coached youth bowling for 2 years.   I also bowled in summer leagues for 4 years.  One was a men’s commercial league which was the most cut throat league I ever bowled in.  Minimum average allowed 170; I barely slipped in with my 171 average at the time.  But it was also the only time I won a major individual award.  During that league I bowled my career best 279, with handicap it equaled a 307 which was single game high handicap score for the season, for which I was awarded the High Handicap Game Award, and it was also tied for 3rd best scratch score for the season. 

Over the course of my 23 year run of bowling I was fortunate to meet, become friends with, and bowl for and against a guy named Robert.  We met on a Tuesday night mixed league not far from we lived in Alexandria, VA. I am not going to say that Robert and I became friends immediately, but we had enough mutual interest that friendship happened. As bowlers we were competitive having approximately the same average, as guys we shared a sense of humor and a sense of right and wrong.  As we aged we shared info about our ailments, Robert was on the kidney transplant list, but never made it to the top.   My issues with my knees became changed to COPD.

Robert loved bowling, and talked and talked about putting together a team to participate in the United States Bowling Congress (USBC) Tournament. He asked me if I would want to take part, and off handedly said sure, he had talked about this team for a couple of years and I didn’t see it happening.  Smiling, in October of 1997 Robert approached me and said remember you said you would be willing to participate if I put together a team for the National Tournament, I said sure I remember.  And off we were.  At the time of my beginning to bowl this tournament, my league average was a solid 182. Which meant on any given week you could expect me to throw one game in the 215 – 220 range or one in the 160 – 180 range, I was considered above average.  February 1998 was the first of ten years of bowling in the National Tournament. Picture 1 shows the original team; we had to pick up a 5th at the tournament. Picture 2 shows the last team, Robert had lost his battle with kidney disease, and that’s his shirt draped over the bowling ball. Over those 10 years we bowled in the following: Reno NV – 1998, Syracuse NY – 1999, Albuquerque, NM – 2000, Reno NV – 2001, Billing MT – 2002, Knoxville TN – 2003, Reno NV – 2004, Baton Rouge LA – 2005, Corpus Christi, TX – 2006, Reno NV – 2007. 

 

Bowling Team 1998

Bowling Team 2006

I need to point out what a generous man Robert was, both in spirit, love, and financial.  I bowled in the tournament for 10 years, Robert would not allow me or any of the other members to pay their bowling fees, he could claim it’s his party, and he was paying.  After the 1st year Robert bought the teams uniform shirts (so we could get the annual team spirit award), again he would foot the bill, smiling, he even made special considerations for my Pillsbury Doughboy body, and made sure that no matter what color or style they came in the size I needed to be comfortable.  Year each he would gather the team at the hotel restaurant for a team meal, this included spouses and children that came, which at times numbered up to 12 or 15 folks, and he paid for dinner, drinks, appetizers, deserts, the works as his gift to those that participated with him.  I am also sure that more than once he picked up the cost for accommodations and travel for some team members over the years.  His only request of us was that we allow him to do scheduling around his need for dialysis, and his need for time to recuperate from that ordeal.  To a one we immediately concurred.  Now I know I am making Robert out to be a “saint,” well let me just say this.  From time to time I have been accused of cussing like a sailor, smiling; Robert from time to time could even make me blush.  And lord did he kick the equipment LOL LOL, which is a big no no.  He had been warned about that more than once.  As his skills waned because of his illness, he took it out on the equipment but right or wrong I understood. But folks I still looked at him as a saintly kinda guy.  He had such a wonderful heart, and he fought his illness in such a courageous manner, I suspect part of him is guiding me.

LOL I have stories about each of the events ranging from G rated all the way thru, well you get the picture.  Maybe someday there will be a part two to this post where I speak to them.

Quickly the tournament consisted of each bowler bowling 9 games over a 24 to 36 hour period.  The games were grouped 3 and 6 or 6 and 3. The three games made of the team event.  The 6 games made up the Single and Double events.  Single and doubles were always bowled together, and the team event was always team. So you would never go to the stadium and see some bowlers bowling singles and doubles, and others bowling the team event. 

The USBC stadium is a traveling circus that will/would take up residence in the host city for almost 9 months. They brought the bowling lanes, score board, inspection equipment, inspectors, equipment mechanics, and other personal with them from city to city, and the rest of the needed personal came from the local area.  The Stadium itself was made up of 100 lanes split in the middle with a 12 foot wide carpeted pathway where the bowlers marched in and to their assigned lanes.  Many of you have been to a bowling alley so you know your score is monitored and kept track of on a small TV screen placed 10 feet in front of you.  At the stadium, the scoreboard it like a jumbotron. It stands about 30 feet tall, and your name appears in 2 foot high characters, in bright yellow. And your score is displayed directly below your name, and because of the size and brightness of the scoreboard it can be seen in different time zones. If you’re in the space shuttle, at the right time you could probably see the scoreboard.  This was the single most intimidating sight I have seen period.   

Now some Tournament Bowling facts and facts about my experience; 

o   When the stadium was not repeat not in use you could not practice bowl there.

o   When the tournament started for the team even you were only allowed to throw 2 practice balls (one on each lane).

o   The very 1st three balls I bowled at my 1st tournament were all gutter balls.

o   The 1st game I bowled in tournament bowling was a 97, almost 90 pins under my average.

o   If you added the score for my 1st 2 games of tournament play you beat my 182 average by seven pins.

o   It wasn’t until my 3rd tournament which would have been in Albuquerque did I manage to break 200.

o   During practice before the Syracuse Tournament was the time I bowled 14 consecutive strikes.

o   If memory serves at all, only one year did I actually bowl over my average for the entire 9 games.

o   Because of rain storms in Corpus Christi the lanes were temporarily damaged due to water on the lanes.  Our Single/Doubles matches were bowled at 2:45am (completed at 4:15am) these games had been schedule for 10pm.  We were back at the Stadium at 10am to bowl the team event.  I did not do well that year.  Me and one of the guys spend a good portion of the time waiting for the single/double events at an adult beverage establishment, not only were we exhausted we were half in the bag.   

o   Over the 10 year run of tournament I actually cashed twice, once in a single event and once in the doubles event.  I have framed copies of both checks, and trust me neither covered even a 1/10 of the costs.  But at least cashed.

o   On average 12,000 to 16,000 bowlers take part in the tournament annually.

o   A team consists of 5 people, and when you bowl an event you are marched into the stadium. One time in Reno there were 500 bowlers marched in at the same time. That was cool.

o   My career best game was 279.

o   My career best series (a series is 3 games) is 665.

o   My career worse score for a single tournament game was 97.

Folks that’s about as much bowling information that you will ever want, I suspect when the time comes Cari won’t even make it thru the entire post LOL.  As always if you have any questions, concerns or comments please feel free to ask.  Take care, Bill.

 

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A Golfing adventure…. A Treasure Box Tale…

For anyone who has read a word about me, you know golf is one of my lifetime favorite activities.  I have spoken about it in countless posts, I have shared stories about my favorite 4some, and I have talked about the DIVES I have stayed in just to play.  I have admitted to sucking at golf, and being lucky at golf.  I have brag about this, that, and the other about golf, and have claimed that I have never not enjoyed a round of golf.  But one of the best memories of golf came from the time I played with Allison, the 1st time she ever played golf on a real course using real everything.  Today I will share that story.

But before I go any further I need to tell Cari, no matter why her mom says, her mom is one of the most competitive people I have ever encountered in my life.  She plays Yahtzee with the same go for the neck, killer attitude you do, she play’s Monopoly like she is a slum lord, and her days playing field hockey and Lacrosse, well, to say “she took no prisoners” is a vast understatement.   But and this is a very big butt, she was a true sports person, she always played clean and with respect.  Sure she would try to decapitate her opponent, but she did so with a smile, and at the end of the game she was the 1st to shake hands and congratulate her opponent. Win or Lose, but like me she has always enjoyed winning more.

For as anal as I am you would think that I would have written down the date this event took place, I do know where it took place, I know the week it took place, I just don’t know the year it took place.  The location was Phoenix, Arizona. The time frame; it was the week between Christmas and New Year; we were in Phoenix because Steph had to either attend a conference or make a presentation at a Conference.  I believe we flew out to Phoenix on the 26th of Dec and returned either the 1st or 2nd of January.  I know that Steph was only involved in her work related event for 2 or 3 days at the most.  Because the trip was filled with day trips to the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Flagstaff, Scottsdale, and we had a ton of fun and I am extremely happy that the car had unlimited mileage.  Gosh here I go again 4 hundred words of setup.

All smiles the Round is just beginning

All smiles the Round is just beginning

 

This round of golf was only 1 of 2 times we played golf together, and it was the 1st time.  I want to believe that it was a Tuesday because the golf course was not crowded, which would allow Allison to spray the ball all over the place, and there wouldn’t be anyone behind us bitching about our slow play. 

We were joined on the 1st tee by a single; I explained that it was Allison’s 1st round of golf on something other than a putt putt course, and that I expected the round to be relatively slow.  He introduced himself and said he would rather play a slow round with folks than a quick round by himself.  Having played as a single before, I knew the feeling.  It turns out the guy was slightly better than me, and quite cordial.  If offered advice when asked, and didn’t step on my toes at all during the round. He kept an eye on the ball flight and had an eye almost as good as mine.  Because of this Allison only lost 2 or 3 balls the entire round.  Of course this doesn’t count the balls in the water, we could all see the splash then, and for a beginner this was a MAJOR victory.  And the more she played that day the better she got.  She was upbeat, the picture shows us at the 1st tee, she maintained that smile the entire round.  And like a true golfer she cussed (as well as someone not used to cussing at that age could) a bit when she screwed up, I was so proud of her. She truly nailed a few shots, enough so I thought if she ever gets even half way serious about this game, she will kick my butt.  It was clear she was having a good time, and we chatted the entire time about a variety of things not all golf related.  

The Pièce de résistance came on the 18th and final hole of the round.  Allison was giddy and getting tired, she had found out that 5 hours in the Arizona sun (even if it is a dry heat) will wear your ass out. Still smiling, still joking, still having a good time, she knew this was the final hole for the round. She didn’t many any wild proclamations, she wasn’t bragging, she was looking forward to that cold soda that was only 400 yards away.  Allison tee’d up the ball for her final drive of the day.  Driving hadn’t been her strong suit, (hell, get in a car with her and you can see it still isn’t her strong suit).  But she cracked her best drive of the day, smack down the middle of the fairway, and long.  Lord the girl was an athlete, and now she was smug because she out drove me.  My second shot was fair, short of the green, but close enough that I was happy.  Allison’s 2nd shot was as ugly a shot as you can imagine, rolling maybe 30 yards dead left, her ball came to rest near the trunk of a small bush like vegetation, but she had room to take a stance, and she again hit the crap out of the ball, her third shot hitting short of the green but with plenty of top spin the ball rolled up and to the very back edge of the green at least 45 or so feet from the flag.  I dumped my 3rd shot, and my 4th was about 10 feet from the flag.  I walked over to Allison gave her a kiss for getting on the green, and helped her line up her totally impossible putt. This was a 45 + foot putt, downhill all the way with at least 3 major breaks before reaching the cup. We discussed it for about 15 seconds or so, and she lined it up. My only real advice was DON’T HIT IT TO HARD! Allison struck the ball like a pro, I knew immediately that the ball had the right pace, and it was amazing to watch.  You could have put any PGA player in that position, and he would have had a 1 in a 1000 chance of making that putt.  OK OK maybe 1 in a 500 chance.  But this was Allison’s 1st round of golf; she barely knew which end of the putter to hit the ball with.  She hit the 1st break point perfectly, and was cruising towards the 2nd break point still on track and still at perfect speed, her ball made the next break, and was destined for the hole, it just had to maintain its speed, and damn if it didn’t, that ball dropped dead in the center of the cup.  Allison who had been walking kinda behind the ball, immediately dropped her putter, and when into wawa wawa wawa chicken dance, giggling, laughing, prancing all over the place.  The guy who had been playing with us all day just turned to me and said “I can see who the golfer is in your family,” In a laughing tone, walked over and shook Allison’s hand and congratulated her, then sunk his 15 birdie putt.  I on the other had 2 putted for a double bogey.  Yes we knew who the golfer was in the Hamilton family. 

Below is the scorecard from that round of golf, it’s one of a dozen or so scorecards I cherish, but none more.  I am 64 years old and during the course of my life I have played over 1200 rounds of golf, of all of those rounds this was by far and away my favorite.  Allison’s par has the box around it, and I don’t remember for even a second why certain holes have x’s below them.

Scorecared

 

As always if you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to share or ask them.  Take care, Bill

 

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More about me than you would ever want to know….. A Grandpa Tale

Dear Readers, if this is the very 1st time you have ever read one of my posts, I am truly sorry to subject you to the following, I would suggest you look into the archives to find something interesting, this will just bore you to tears.  If you are someone who has followed me for a bit, you know I write a lot of stories for my granddaughter, to create memories of me for when my end of retirement comes.

For those of us old enough to remember AOL 1.0, that’s when I began my online experience.  It has been a wonderful experience to be sure, and over the years I have met and become cyber and real time buddies to a ton of folks. One of the ways folks learned about each other over the years where to send out questionnaires.  These questionnaires provided the answers to many commonly asked questions.  To be sure the online community has changed significantly since I was 1st online.  Sadly many of the changes have not been for the good.  But before I get way off topic, hardly a month would go by without a friend or chat room buddy or joke buddy wouldn’t be sending a questionnaire.  I think I was one of the rare ones, because every time I got the questionnaire, I completed it and sent it on. At one point I was only sending it back to the person who sent it, and my closer buddies (if the questions were significantly different).  What I have decided to do is take one of those questionnaires (from the wayback machine) and answer it again for my granddaughter only this time I will each question two ways, or maybe three. What the answer is now, what it would have been 10 yrs, and what it would be 20 years ago.  As you read you will find that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  The questions had definitive answers that the years don’t change.  So I am sorry now if that disappoints you. 

Already I have changed the ground rules I am using 2 different questionnaires and will be applying the answer as appropriate.  This 1st questionnaire is from the late 90’s early 00’s.  Just so the record is straight, this is being done on Wednesday July 2, 2014.

This is for your entire Life!    X=Yes  O=No

(X)       Gone on a blind date – several times but all prior to 1973 — Makes me feel old from the very beginning

(X)       Skipped school – yes, but not since 1980 (in 1980 I skipped college classes).  Yes I am dating myself lost count of the classes I skipped a long time ago.

(O)      Watched someone die – and I am thankful I haven’t.  

(X)       Been to Canada – the 1st time was in the mid 1990’s          

(X)       Been to Mexico – the 1st time while in Radioman “A” school 1969, have been to several Mexican ports of call since 2006, visits on Cruise Ships ports of call.         

(X)       Been to Florida – Move to Florida 2002 – had been here dozens of times prior to moving here.            

(X)       Been on a plane – My very 1st flight was when I left Louisville to go to bootcamp in April 1969            

(X)       Been lost – more times than I will admit                      

(X)       Been on the opposite side of the country – many times both during the service and as a civilian both working and visiting          

(X)       Gone to Washington DC – lived and worked in the DC area for almost 30 yrs                         

(X)       Swam in the ocean – yes and have been sunburnt on both coasts

(X)       Cried yourself to sleep – I believe we all have or will have at some point  

(X)       Played cops and robbers and I played cowboys and Indians

(X)       Recently colored with crayons – when I originally answered these questions the answer was no but having Cari in my life I can change this to a Yes

(X)       Sang Karaoke – at Joe’s in San Antonio, TX 1998 – it wasn’t a pretty sight   

(X)       Paid for a meal with coins only? – Christmas 1976 for Steph onboard the USS Independence – one of the best meals we ever shared

(X)       Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? – and said many things I wish I could take back

(X)       Made prank phone calls – I was making crank calls before there were spam calls     

(X)       Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose – it wasn’t a pretty sight  

(X)       Caught a snowflake on your tongue – but this was before I moved to Florida   

(O)      Danced in the rain – maybe this is something I need to do while I still have a chance.        

(X)       Written a letter to Santa Claus – yes and I will and have encouraged any child that may have thought I was him to do so 

(X)       Been kissed under the mistletoe – yes but would have enjoyed more opportunities

(X)       Watched the sunrise with someone [and the sunset too.] – Yes  

(X)       Blown bubbles – Yes Cari and I have done so out on the Lanai

(X)       gone ice-skating – yes it was in the early 70’s and my butt is still sore  

(X)       Been skinny dipping outdoors – I have a swimming pool in a private backyard, and while I may look like I am a whale, I look like a whale enjoying himself

Here is the second set of questions, clearly the going back 10 the 20 years isn’t working out, but as appropriate I will share that information.  Now on to a game of 20 or more questions;

 

1. Any nickname? – yes “Ham” has been my nickname for over 45 years, but I have also been called “Red” at various times until I was 40, and before I even got out of elementary school (3rd grade) I was called Camelskin  

2. Mother’s Name? – Ila   

3. Favorite Beverage?

non-alcohol – Ice tea unsweetened no lemon, Coke, lemonade (pink) and the most important of all Water – Coke and lemonade thru my high school years, Coffee during my Navy career – Water didn’t become truly important until I started coming to Florida on a regular basis, now it is my 1st drink of choice

alcoholic – Knob Creek Bourbon on the rocks – Greygoose on the rocks – a good Bloody Mary (do not use greygoose), and Corina for my beer.  Being honest my choice in alcohol have changed as I have aged, my normal go to Bourbon is Jim Beam and has been for 25 years. I didn’t discover good Vodka until later in life, so whenever I had a bloody Mary it was always with well vodka. 

LMAO as I am typing this, I am trying like the devil to figure why Cari would ever want or need to know some of this stuff. 

4. Body Piercing – None except for those made during surgery

5. Tattoo – No, but I have scars, and those have much better stories than tattoos.  Cari to my knowledge your mom has 2, by the time you read this she may have 3 or 4 for all I know, ask her, and please don’t get any, well maybe one.  

6. How much do you love your job?—before I retired I was quite fortunate, I almost loved my job.  I had a 39 year career working for the Federal Govt, I was extremely fortunate to have worked on some very interesting projects, that were of significant importance, and I may have already spoke of those in a different post.  But my last four years of my career was my favorite because I worked directly with my customers, that part, well love is too strong a word, but I really enjoyed my job.  I am now retired and I enjoy this as much as I enjoyed working.

7. Birthplace – Baltimore Maryland

8. Favorite vacation spot – Australia, we visited there for 2 weeks in November 2001, next favorite Hawaii in 1999, next favorite Disney Cruise 2013, before all of these and when I was Cari’s age we always vacationed at the Grandparents place.

9. Ever been to Africa? – Yes during the Navy years, most likely it was 1970.

10. Ever eaten just cookies for dinner? Yes, I bet it would be difficult to find someone who hasn’t especially when you add the LARGE glass of milk

11. Ever been on TV? – yes evening news December 21, 1999 in London England about terrorism and the Y2K fears, CBS interviewed us as we departed a double decker bus. I stood in the background looking like a dork while Stephanie talked.

12. Ever steal traffic signs? No, and Cari I suggest you don’t either that is extremely dangerous.

13. Have you ever been in a car accident? YES – Christmas night 1967, partiers ran a red light and struck the car I was driving. Then 6 months later I was a passenger in a vehicle where the driver lost control and we struck a telephone pole.  I was in the back seat, and the 3 friends in the front were all seriously injured.

14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? – I have driven both, owned both enjoyed them both, 1st car was 61 Buick La Salle, 2nd 60 Chevy Corvair Spyder, 3rd was a 1960 Chevy Impala Convertible (my 2nd favorite car) and I still remember the 16 other cars I have owned during my lifetime.

15. Favorite Number – 55 that was my jersey number when I played JV Football

16. Favorite Holiday – Thanksgiving, always has been and I have written more than 1 post about the meal.

17. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

18. How do you relax – read or play video games, I used to golf and bowl but health issues has taken that off the table, now my favorite hobby my passion has become this blog. Cari hobbies are extremely important.  As a person you must be rounded and grounded.  All work and no play will not allow you to be rounded and grounded.

19. How do you see yourself in 10 year? hopefully alive, and doing things that give me some level of pleasures. Answered in 2007, hopefully it’s still a good answer. We will see.

20. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV – UofL Basketball or Football, have been a U of L fan forever and 2 days.  Now they will have an opportunity to kick some UVA butt on a regular basis. (For daughter Allison and son-in-law Stu)

21. How do I vent anger – internal explosion – Cari this isn’t the best way to do this. You will find plenty of reasons to be angry over the years, and you will find that explosions is not the right response.  Be careful in the one you choose.

22. What am I most afraid of – Not being able to take care of myself.

23. What is my favorite flower – Roses, Mom grew them, and I find the so very appealing to the eye.  Always have been.  Though Steph had a wonderful garden in Virginia that didn’t include roses. 

Okay folks that is more than enough information about me.  Remember this is for Cari, I may come back to it and refine it or update as I feel necessary.  Though I doubt if I ever publish it again.

As always if you have any questions comments or concerns please feel free to ask. My answers will be as honest as I can be. Take care, Bill

 

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How I Feel for the Week Ending 6.28.14…

Good morning folks, I hope you have had a pleasant week.  It is approximately 9:45am when I am starting this report so there is no logical reason why it won’t get completed and shared sometime today.  I know I am setting us up, because something will happen that prevents me from completing this today, as sure as the sun rose this morning something will happen.  Sidebar; the 1st 3 songs out of the box this morning have been Heart’s “Stairway to Heaven,” Vince Gill’s Don’t Let our Love Start Slipping Away,” and Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus,” talk about setting the mood. That’s what happens when the IPod is set on random.  Since last week’s report we have had no rain, and the day time humidature (a combination of heat and humidity) here in the Tampa area has run as high as 112 degrees with actual temperatures in the mid-90s, and trust me if you have respiratory issues that will take every ounce of energy you think you have and just squeeze every drop out of you.  Even with the heat and other considerations I am maintaining a constant 2.75 score for the week. 

Changes in my health that are more apparent during the heat, in that I tire faster and easier, and recovery takes a bit longer.  But I also feel that my diminishing health manifests itself many other ways as well.  Such things as taking a shower is not as easy as it once was and simple household tasks are not as simple as they once were.  For example emptying the dishwasher takes longer and sometimes requires a break to catch my breath, gathering the trash is a chore that requires more than one break, then getting the trash cans to the street is a job all to itself.  Dressing takes a bit longer, especially those mornings I put on my support stocking. The change is gradual, but you do notice it over time.  I am not surprised or offended by these changes it is part of the progression of the disease.  Smiling, these days I budget 20 mins or so to empty the dishwasher instead of the 8 to 12 mins it used to take. I also make other accommodations in my day-to-day life to manage the changes in my health. Also I don’t obligate myself to as many things during a day as I used too, all of these efforts enhances my quality of life without degrading my opinion of myself. Sidebar: I now have the Black Eyed Peas “I got a Feeling” slamming in my ears, and it is such a happy song, I have also some blues, and old rock, some of the bands include Linkin Park, Led Zeppelin, Halestorm, BB King, Lucinda Williams, so far it has been a good random kinda day.  

I had only 1 doctors’ appointment this week, and that was as always a productive conversation with Doc Head.  Also this week I have had my normal weekly checkup by Hospice. I am talkative, so these checkups can take 90 minutes, yesterdays was only about an hour.  When she asked the weekly “What do you miss” question, I kinda threw her a curve and said “Not Much,” with a follow-up that I was over not playing golf, and I was over not bowling, and I was doing pretty much everything else I wanted to do, only doing it a lot slower.  She kinda smiled, but got it.  Last week I suggested I was going to start giving off the wall answers to that question and that is still my intent, but yesterday I was off my game a bit, and wasn’t thinking as fast as necessary.  And when that happens the truth is the easiest thing to say. So I did.

Below is a link for a bit of recognition I got for this blog.  I have a call into the person that selected my blog, and should she ever call me back I will share with you the outcome of the conversation. I have emailed the link to a couple of folks and apparently it has worked fine, but my tests results have been iffy at best.  I do know if you use the link it takes you to an OOPS page, but if you just cut everything after blogs out and put in #14 it works.

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/best-copd-blogs#14

Let get the vitals out-of-the-way for the week ending 06.28.14

  • INR = 3.0 taken 06.16.14 – next test will be 06.30.14 – but no change in meds

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 96 taken moments ago, 6.28.14

  • Peak Flow = 205 taken moments ago, 6.28.14

  • BP = 102/62 taken 06.27.14

  • Heart rate = 87 taken moments ago 6.27.14

  • Temp = 98.6 taken 06.27.14

  • Weight = 269 taken 06.27.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 06.28.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect. This week I have chosen “Joy” as the word of the week. As I normally do I will start with the dictionary definition for the word. 

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/joy

joy — noun \ˈjȯi\ : a feeling of great happiness : a source or cause of great happiness : something or someone that gives joy to someone : success in doing, finding, or getting something 

Full Definition of JOY = 1 a :  the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight b :  the expression or exhibition of such emotion :  gaiety 2 :  a state of happiness or felicity :  bliss 3 :  a source or cause of delight

For the rest of the definition please visit the link above.

Over the last few weeks I have spent this time talking about words like; denial, therapy, anger, Hospice, expectations, challenges and on and on.  Each of these words has touched someone somehow. Writing about them has been uplifting for me, as well as, unburdening.  I am not going to spend this time telling you that it will be a joy to die, what a big friggin lie that would be.  Hell if I had my way I would love to be 100+ and then the 170 year old Willard Scott could talk about me during the morning weather.  But just because one is dying doesn’t mean the joy has gone to. When asked how am I doing I sometime say I woke looking at the flowers from the correct direction.  Just saying each day starts off good, that I am here today is a pleasure.  You would be amazed at all the ways you can find a bit of joy each day.

o   During college football and basketball seasons each time Louisville wins I am joyful.

o   I am joyful when my daughter calls to talk to Me and not us.

o   I am joyful when a child looks at me and thinks I am Santa

o   I am joyful when Cari says she loves me

o   I am joyful when I see the flowers that Brenda’s blog is forever promoting

o   I am joyful when the good guy really kicks the bad guys’ ass during the shows I watch on TV

o   I am joyful went the pool temp is above 86 degrees

o   I find joy in all the wonderful blogs I subscribe to and comment on

o   I am joyful when I gather with my neighborhood family to play cards

o   I take great joy when any of my brothers or my sister calls to chat

o   I am joyful when the bottle of water in the frig is so cold it is almost ice

o   I take great joy in sharing the music I listen to as I create these posts

o   I am super joyful when it only costs 500 instead of a 1000 to fix Big Red

o   I am joyful that I make my wife smile and giggle

o   I am joyful and happy when I go to church and actually get it

o   I am joyful that I have good doctors doing the best they can for me under the worse circumstances

o   I am joyful that I can afford the health care necessary to keep me around as long as possible

o   I am joyful when I see any little person smile and giggle uncontrollable

o   I am joyful when the good guy wins

My point is simple we all have so many things to be joyful about.  Dying doesn’t take these joys away. If anything, dying makes us appreciate them even more, making each of them special.   I came up with this list of things I am joyful about in a matter of moments, it took no special effort on my part, and I know YOU could find just as many things.  The great thing about joy is that we don’t have to be sick to enjoy it, nor does being healthy make your joy better. 

Joy is what you make of it, I have decided to make the most of the joys I have each day.  Smiling, another good thing about joy is that each day presents new reasons to be joyful. 

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 
 

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Handprints

Not long ago Chatter Master wrote a blog titled “Is Will Be What Was” http://bikecolleenbrown.wordpress.com/2014/06/05/is-will-be-what-was/ which inspired me if of nothing else to draw Cari’s (my granddaughter’s) hand superimposed over mine.   If you go to Chatter’s post, you will inspired as well, maybe not to do the handprint thing, but inspired none the less.  Her perspective is a delightfully written little narrative that speaks to generations before and after, now and then and the joys and wonderment that come with it. Something, on even my best of days I couldn’t hope to replicate and this isn’t my intent. 

But I wanted to do something with that visual.  The impact of one generation laid over another.  Hands 2014Here at the Hamilton home we have a “brag wall”.  It is a wall that serves no other purpose that to display family photos. LOL the brag wall is located out of the normal public viewing area of our home, so are friends are not subjected to this on a constant basis. Some of the pictures reflect special moments, but most are of the family at various stages of our lives.  Our wall has pictures that span over almost 40 years of the Bill, Steph and Allison show. But also some of the displayed photos are actually even older because they show me as a child, that alone makes some of these photos 60 + years old, and without doing an inventory I suspect there are pictures there or should be there of our parents with their parents, so now I guess I should say some of the pictures reach back almost 100 years.  If they aren’t on the wall they will be.  

Right at this moment the “brag” wall has only 1 picture on it. That picture was taken last year when we took Allison’s family, on the Disney cruise.  The other pictures were taken down when we had the interior of the house painted, and we were too lazy to put them back up.  One of my missions between now and the end of retirement will be to get the “brag wall” back to its old self.   I want it to be a place that Cari can drag her mom and ask who was this, or who was that, or why do you look so goofy mom.  Because I am sure Allison will have a story or two to share, and if she doesn’t then she can drag Steph into the conversation, between them they can look, smile, giggle, or maybe cry.  Who knows? And then they can explain the picture together while they continue to laugh and giggle.  

The “brag wall” will be part of the legacy I leave behind when the end of retirement comes.  And while she doesn’t know it yet, Allison will be a big player in helping re-establish the wall. The handprints picture will be framed and a place set aside for it in the wall.  Shadow box photos of Cari and Allison (both taken at the approximate same age) which look almost identical will have a special place. The wall will claim its former glory. 

Many of you know I write the bulk of my posts for my daughter and granddaughter’s future enjoyment.  I write a lot about me as a kid, my adventures, my miss adventures, about things that were important (or seemed so at the time), or things not so important, by anyone’s measure. Most of my life history is wrapped up in these words.  These stories will be part of the legacy I will leave behind.  When other children are talking about their grandparents Cari will have her grandmother and these stories to share as she sees fit. 

The stories I write about Allison are a way of reverse revenge.  Cari will see what kinda of crap her mother tried to get away with, and either develop a different game plan or search for and find new and unique ways to get over on her mom and dad.  That is a child main purpose in life, to get over on the parents and grandparents.  LOL heck it is a war of wills whenever Cari comes to visit.  She has her agenda, and being a guy (even a grandfather) I for the life of me can never figure out the female’s plan.  But I will admit that I generally lose the war of wills, and in doing so love every minute of it. 

Folks, thank you for allowing me the opportunity to take some of your time. I do appreciate it greatly.  If you have any question or comments please feel free to ask. Take care, Bill

 
 

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I’ve Fought the Law, and the Law Won ..P2.. A  Treasure Box Story

The Chief told the girls they could make one call to their parents and explain what was going on.  My friends girlfriend immediately got on the phone and call her mom, the GF explained the problem in great and accurate detail.  Bill had been stopped for speeding, and allowed the cop to search the trunk.  The cop found the fireworks and moonshine and haul us all off to the Mayberry jail.  The Police Chief was threatening Bill with possession of illegal alcohol, possession of explosives with the intent of transporting them across state lines, and both Bill and my BF, the Mann Act for bringing her and my GF into Tennessee for “unknown” reasons.  My friend’s GF must have spoken for 20 mins and then listened to her Mom for another 15, before hanging up.  My friend’s GF convinced my GF to pass on making a call, so my GF didn’t.  My friend and I were not offered the opportunity to make a call, but knowing who my Friend’s GF was, we didn’t push.  I am going to use Marge to refer to my friend’s GF from this point forward because her and her family plays a major role from this point. 

I had been best friends with my Friend for a couple years; Marge was the only girl I have ever known him to date.  They were married as she began her Junior year of High School, let me be perfectly clear, she was not repeat was not pregnant at the time of their marriage, nor did she lose a child prior to marriage, they were in love as much as I have ever seen two people, except for maybe my brother John and his 1st wife.  Marge’s family was not rich, but they had influence and pull, and they had a ton of that. 

Marge’s mom was a lovely woman, and one of the warmest people I have known.  She fully embraced me into their family because of my best friend.  Marge’s older brothers protected me because I was the runt.  And after my GF and I broke up (Marge never really liked her) Marge would set me up with her friends and cousins. But is a chapter left untold. Anyway back to her Mom.  Mrs. Marge was big in the Democratic Party in northern KY and southern IN.  When I say big I mean really really big, she knew people, and those people owed her, some owed her a lot, some not so much, but a bunch of folks in high and higher positions knew her and would quickly bend over backwards to do her a favor.  Mr. Marge was a very important field engineer for one of the Nation’s major gas and oil companies he was responsible for the Northeast, but had influence deeply into the south as well. 

To this day I don’t know all the details of what transpired.  But within 2 ½ hours there was a lawyer there at the Mayberry Jail, to pick up both my GF and my friend’s GF. The girls were released and were never charged with anything.  The Chief also apologized for detaining them. Upon leaving the jail they were taken to Nashville and then flown back to Louisville in a private plane (owned by Major gas and oil company), my GF was delivered to her home by private car before curfew. 

My friend and I while not being allowed to leave the jail were treated very well and fed very well.  The Chief did inform us that the details for our release were being worked out, and to make ourselves comfortable because it could take a day or so.  With the next day being Sunday, my friend and I didn’t expect much to happen.  My car had been moved to protected storage, and we relaxed pretty all day Sunday.  The same lawyer that got the girls out Saturday afternoon came and visited with us mid-afternoon Sunday.  He explained that we wouldn’t be charged and would be released early on Monday.  He had to visit with the local judge face to face before the necessary paperwork was signed.

At 9am on Monday, the attorney came gathered us up and walked us to my car.  The Chief was trailing along behind and seemed in a good mood.  As we got into the car, the Chief ambled over and told me to be careful and to make sure I didn’t do any more speeding in the State of Tennessee.  The attorney just shook his head, and advised us that we might be well served to stay out of TN for a bit.  That was advice we took to heart, and it was years before I ventured into TN again. No more than 20 minutes after leaving the jail we were back in the State of KY.  The tank was still reading full, it was a bright and sunny day, the top was down and we drove back to Louisville without incident.  

Upon arrival back home we checked the trunk and found much to our surprise the fireworks and moonshine were still in the trunk.  We got rid of the stuff as fast as possible and laid low.  We never volunteered to do that again.  Besides only a few months later I was in the Navy, and not long after that my friend and Marge were married.  I haven’t talked to either in a few years now, but the last time I did talk to them they were still happily married. 

Now a little back story.  Our release was engineered by Mrs. Marge.  I always knew she was a player in the Democratic Party, I just never realized the level of her game.  Clearly it was at a level beyond anything I have encountered since.  Remember the only reason I was stopped was because I was speeding, and it wasn’t by as much as I would normally be speeding.  Apparently the cop that stopped us had no probably cause to search the trunk.  Anyway Mrs. Marge tentacles reached all over the three state area.  She knew someone, who knew someone, who could get to Mayberry and straighten and clean up whatever mess there was.   While she was doing that, Mr. Marge was arranging transportation for the girls.  I’m not sure if the trip to Nashville and return was company supported or not, and that’s not my problem.  It happened and the girls got to ride in an airplane home. 

The girls only had to spend 3 hours in a jail cell with an unlocked door and complete access to the restroom.  My friend and I biggest issue was we had to wear the same cloths all weekend, but this was 1968, and it wasn’t the 1st time I had spent an entire weekend in the same cloths.  The Mayberry jail was small, only a couple cells and we were the only occupants Saturday and Sunday nights. And we got to keep our purchases.  I thanked Mrs. Marge a bunch, and I loved her like a mom.  Also to her credit, she had to help out my friend and me a couple more times before I was off to the Navy.  I will say it is nice to have friends in high places even when you don’t know they are. 

So ends my tale of getting to spend two evening in a TN jail as a visitor, (I was never charged or arrested for anything), so I must have been a visitor.  I hope you enjoyed the story.  If you have any questions, concerns or comments, please feel free to ask, and thank my wife for suggesting I tell this story.  Take care, Bill

PS – This was not the only time I have driven Fireworks across a State line for a friend.  A few years ago, just before I moved to Florida permanently a good friend asked me to stop someplace along my way back to his house in Northern VA and purchase $500 in fireworks.  He had a specific list, brand names, gauge, and estimated cost.  When the guy I was travelling with suggested we call it a night, we stopped at the 1st SC exit, that sold fireworks, checked into a decent place, had dinner, and then bought 500 dollars’ worth of fireworks.  We carefully laid them on top of our golf clubs, and pulled the cover over the back.  When back to the hotel had a couple drinks called it a night and completed the trip without incident the next day.  So I can buy and transport fireworks without getting in trouble, so there LOL LOL.  Take care, Bill

 

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I’ve Fought the Law, and the Law Won ..P1.. A  Treasure Box Story

Friday (June 20th) after my wife and I returned our granddaughter to her parents we decided we needed adult beverages and Italian for dinner.  We were no more than a mile from our home and passed two extremely large firework tents. Which reminded Steph of a story I shared with her a million years ago, she turned to me and asked “Have you shared that firework story on your blog?”  Nope I said, she then said you should.  

So here it is. I have been arrested one time (so far) during my life, but I have spent 4 nights in jail over the years (3 completely different occasions), with the last time close to 40 years ago.  Before my arrest for DUI in 1968, I was honored to spend 2 nights as a (controlled) visitor in a tiny little town in Northern Tennessee just a few short miles from the Kentucky State line. The final time was while I was in the Navy; the MP’s got me for disorderly conduct.  I wasn’t arrested or charged, just allowed to cool my jets for a bit, and released. But the story Steph wanted me to share dealt with the 2 nights I was a visitor in Tennessee. 

Back when this event occurred Kentucky was not repeat was not very liberal regarding the sale of fireworks, as a matter of fact; most things beyond your sparklers were not allowed to be sold in KY.  But Tennessee was much more liberal at the time, you could just about anything that exploded in Tennessee, and you could buy in large quantities.  

In early June 1968 a friend and I thought we would take up a collection (or orders) and drive down to TN to buy fireworks for friends and neighbors (covering our costs and making a bit of a profit).  It was a great idea and was well accepted by both our friends and many of the Dads (our collection pot runnith over). 

My friend and I decided which Saturday we were going to make the run down to TN, and even invited our girlfriends for the adventure.  Though at the time we didn’t realize just how much of an adventure it was going to be.  We collected the funds from those that wanted to participate, and made our final arrangements.  That Friday night before we were to depart, the father of a friend called and asked if we were going to go thru XXXXX on the way to our destination, a quick look at the map confirmed that we would indeed be going thru XXXXX.  He asked if I minded if we made a side stop and pick up a package for him.  He would donate 25 bucks towards expenses if we just picked up this package and deliver it to him unopened.  I spoke to my partner, told him about the “package” and we exchanged knowing smiles we agreed to pick it up. 

The next morning we gathered our girlfriends (his girlfriend was 14, mine was 15) put the roof down on my car, and started our trip from Kentucky into Tennessee.  The trip south was totally uneventful, I don’t have a clue as to how long it took to get there, or where we stopped, I just remember the trip being totally uneventful. 

When picked up the package that we had been instructed to, placed it the trunk of my car, and threw a blanket over it.  

Then we proceeded to one of the several Firework sales locations we had passed, and had a blast buying all manner of fireworks, we had specific names and specific quantities and approximate costs.  It was like going to the fireworks grocery store.  A little of this a bunch of that, some of those, a 2 boxes of this, and just kept loading the cart. It was a “Don’t forget the milk,” kinda deal.  My friend and I knew we were going to be hero’s, and we knew we were going to make some good change, and nobody was going to take a beating.  We gathered up our purchases, carried them out to the car, opened the trunk and threw them neatly under the blanket with that package we picked up. 

On the way out of town we stopped at some diner, had lunch, and filled the car with gas before heading north.  Back then gas was still less that 20 cents yes 20 cents a gallon. We were good to go, and we were headed north back to Kentucky. 

Of course I was not following the posted speed limit, heck I never have, always heavy on the right foot. When lo and behold there in my rearview mirror was a police car with his lights a flashing.  Being honest we had just passed a sign say 4 miles to the Kentucky State Line, and for a tiny moment I considered making a run for the line.  But that thought when away almost as quickly as it had arrived.  Besides it was only going to be a speeding ticket. Lord knows it wouldn’t be the 1st time I got a speeding ticket.  So I pulled over.  My friend pulled the registration from the glove box, and I dug my driver’s license out of my wallet.  The police officer ambled his way up side the car, and asked if I had any idea why he stopped me, I looked him dead in the eyes and said most likely cause I was going faster than the posted speed limit.  He smiled and said yelp that would be one of the reasons. He looked at my friend and our girlfriends and asked for ID, my friend dug his driver’s license out and handed it over, but neither of the girls (again ages 14 and 15) had license’s, and freely admitted their age.  The cop just shook his head and politely asked if he could search the car.  We had about 200 dollars in fireworks in the trunk which we bought just down the road, and we were still in TN, besides this was back in the day when you didn’t argue with cops, so I said sure, got out of the car (we all did), and he commenced to looking throughout the passenger compartment, finding nothing of interest he asked me to open the trunk.  I had a feeling that the shit was about to hit the fan, I just had no clue how much shit it was going to be.   The 1st thing he saw was all the fireworks, scattered all over the trunk. Looking at me, he said where exactly was I planning on using these and when (it was still a couple weeks before the 4th of July).  So honesty played out and I said we intended to take them home and use them on the 4th.  He asked if I realized it was illegal to transport fireworks across state line, and I tried the ole innocent me thing, going on no sir I didn’t know that.  I knew he wasn’t buying it and I figured I was about to lose $200 worth of fireworks. But then he pushed the blanket off the box that we had picked up.  He asked if I knew what was in the box, and because we had not opened it I could honestly say that “No Sir, I have no idea what is in the box.” To which he replied, “Let’s open it and see.”  As much as I would like to say how surprised my friend and I were when the cop opened the box and found four gallons of TN moonshine, we both kinda figured out that was what we were picking up.  And that folks is when the SHIT really hit the FAN. 

We were directed to get back in car and follow him to the local sheriff office, which we did, he directed me to put the top, lock up the car, and give him the keys.  The 4 of us were herded into a cell and the door closed (but not locked).  He was holding my friend and my driver’s licenses, and the keys to my car which was just outside the police office, (the place reminded me of police office in Mayberry) so he had all the info on us, but the girls (both minors from KY in TN), was causing him all manner of concern. 

End of part 1

Smiling yes this is too long to be a single post. As always if you have any questions comments or concerns please feel free to ask. Take care, Bill

 

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A week at the Hurl Rock Motel …… A Grandpa Tale

In a recent post I wrote of the best 4 some of golf buddies, and I threatened to write 2,000 words (actually turned out to be 2056) about our 1st golf outing in a group of 4.  It was unanimously decided (without my vote counting) that I would be the one to put together the golf outing.  I wasn’t overly concerned I had plenty of organizational skills, Terry, Jim and Don were all retired, and to make it work we only had to work around my work schedule. 

L to R Me, Terry, Don and Jim

L to R Me, Terry, Don and Jim

Early on it was decided that we would go to Myrtle Beach SC.  The golf Mecca of the United States, a place where you could play golf 100 consecutive days before you had to repeat a golf course.  Of course 26 years ago you only had your choice of about 60 different golf courses.  But for as many golf courses you had a far greater choice in accommodations, of golf packages, with more options than buying a car.  My sum experience to putting together a golf vacation had come the year before when approached I wrote a check.  Yes a ton of experience.

Deciding on Myrtle Beach was the easiest part of the decision process.  We had all been there at one time or another, we all knew there were great accommodations available, and we all knew that the restaurants were varied and very good.  We also knew that we didn’t want to go during the late spring early summer months because that would be too hot.  The guys all being retired left it up to me to narrow the date because I was the only one working.  I did as much internet searching as was available back then and found that the early to mid part of February was pretty good weather wise, day time temperatures in the low to mid 60’s night time around high 40s.   After a few days of discussion it was decided that we would go for the 1st week of February, arriving on Monday departing the following Saturday.  The easiest part of the mission completed.  We recognized it might be chilly but figured that was much better than hot. 

The next major hurdle was accommodations.  I didn’t realize the sheer amount of choices that were going to be presented to me.  We were interested in a “package” deal which included golf.  I don’t remember what the threshold for my financial involvement, but I knew I was on a limited budget.  My budget was such that it ruled out places like the Marriott’s, the Hyatt’s, and the Sheraton’s.  The guys also understood the significant difference between staying at the Marriott with a package, and a midrange hotel/motel.  I contacted a ten different motel/hotel’s (the Hurl Rock being one of them) offering golf packages and received brochures from all of them I had copies made of them, and created a spreadsheet outlining the package cost, the extra’s, the potential add-ons, closeness to the center of Myrtle Beach and other attractions, and blab blab blab.  I mailed the entire package to Terry, Don and Jim.  Asked them to review and give me their top 4 choices. Not having had any experience, and dealing with guys that are you to staff understanding their needs and preferences getting a decision was difficult at best.  But finally they all provided their input, and the only place that was common to all of their choices was the Hurl Rock Motel.   By default the Hurl Rock became the destination of choice.  I will say it right now, if you were to ask any of three; Terry, Jim or Don; Jim and Don would swear the Hurl Rock was purely my choice.  Terry would kinda stand with them, but would own up that one of his choices had been the Hurl Rock.   It took from May to Thanksgiving to make and finalize the arrangements for our 1st golf outing.  We were staying at the Hurl Rock arriving on a Sunday afternoon, playing golf Monday thru Friday, and departing Saturday. 

Don and Jim road down together, while Terry and I rode together.  The Sunday trip from Washington DC to Myrtle Beach SC was driven in a down pour.  Was expected to take 8 or 9 hours took Terry and I almost 11.  When we arrived at the Motel we saw Don and Jim leaning against the 3rd floor railing waving in greeting.  Terry and I quickly checked in and headed up to the 3rd floor, our room was right next to the room shared by Don and Jim.  Let me be the 1st to say the place had all the making of Dive, I would go so far as to say the Hurl Rock appeared to be a place that might have had an hourly rate as well. I know that if my wife had been with me she would not have gotten out of the car, she would have refused to even consider staying there, and we would have been driving the strip looking for nicer accommodations.  If you do an internet search you can find the Hurl Rock Motel at, http://hurlrockmyrtlebeach.com/.  If you will notice there is not a single picture that shows you a view of the Motel from the street.  Clearly the place has been renovated more than once since our week there, and in my mind it still looks like a dive.  Anyway back to the story.  Don and Jim had arrived an hour or so ahead of Terry and I, they had a chance to scope out the room, and the surroundings.  Don was so unhappy with the place that he had already started the search for nicer accommodations, but the golf package wouldn’t transfer and the places that had space were extremely costly.  Don was also pissed that he got scammed almost immediately after checking in.  Apparently some young man came to him with a sad story about needing an alternator for his car and that his family was sleeping in until the next day, and detail after detail, well Don gave the guy $100. Getting a promise that the guy would be there in the am after the auto place opened to return the 100.  Needless to say Don never saw the guy or his 100 bucks again.  Don’s was teased pretty much without mercy by the rest of us the entire trip and Don took it with quite well. I am getting way off track; let’s get back to the Hurl Rock.

The rooms at the Hurl Rock were approximately 11 by 25 foot.  The back half was the “2nd bedroom,” with a bath separating the 2 sleeping areas.  The main area (which included the bed) has the kitchenette in it with a couch, table and 4 unmatched chairs.  The AC/heater unit was beneath the double window in the front of the unit.  The 2nd sleeping area had no window at all, but it had its own AC/Heater unit craved into the outside wall.  The interior walls were a cheap plywood stain a color I didn’t recognize then and wouldn’t today.  The beds had that sag in the middle depicting the thousands of bodies that laid there before.  The linen was tread bare at best, all in a miss matched white.  I am just saying that some of the old stuff was older than some of the other old stuff, which was real friggin old.   The AC/heater units had the most unique cycles and were as loud and annoying as possible.  Just as you thought you had the pattern down and was falling asleep the pattern would change again.  The attributes of the Hurt Rock as I have described them were the better qualities.  We didn’t cook a single meal in the rooms for fear of what an open flame might do.  We used the refrigs to keep the soda and booze in, and that was the extent of our uses of the facilities.  The Motel had no working soda or ice machines, but we were quite lucky there was a convenience store just on the other side of the parking lot, and their soda’s and other junk food were reasonable priced. The freezer did work in the frig so a 5 lb bag of ice when a long way.  The joint was clearly a Mom and Pop place, and their were at the end of their rope, it was clear neither liked their lot in life, and customer service was clearly not in their vocabulary, requests during the week generally fell on deaf ears.  One of the biggest selling points to the Hurl Rock is that it offered free breakfast.  This turned out to be the high point, and it truly was.  We were given a chit each morning for breakfast at one of the local non chain restaurants, and this was great, we ordered off the menu, and I had a feast each morning.  That was the only redeeming value that any of us found with the Motel.

Don continued to look for other accommodations for 3 more days, even to the point of offering to cover most of the cost himself just to get us out of the Hurl Rock.  But we finally just beat him down to the point he knew it didn’t makes sense to move. 

As I stated in the beginning the drive to Myrtle Beach was in a down pour, Monday morning it really appeared that the day was going to be washed out.  But according to the rules, we could and would not get a refund unless the course was closed, and we and to be at the course ready to play at our tee time, or we would be in forfeit.  Monday our tee time was 11am.  The 4 of us gathered for breakfast at 8am, it was raining and very ugly, we assumed that golf would be cancelled and that we would get a refund, that’s when we read the fine print had breakfast and ventured out to the golf course.  It was so ugly, but as we turned into the drive way of the golf course, the sun peeked between a couple of clouds, the rain stopped and by the time we were called to the 1st tee, the skies were blue, barely a breeze, and it was a wonderful day.  By the 5th hole we were playing in short sleeve golf shirts, having peeled off more than 1 layer, and wishing we had worn shorts.  It did not rain a drop the rest of the week.  But the weather got progressively worse each day.  Monday the temp got to mid 70’s, Tuesday maybe 60, and the breeze picked up.  Wednesday wow what a change the temp got no higher than 50 and the breeze turned into a strong wind.  We had seen the forecast the night before, and when out and did a little shopping.  This is a USF sweatshirt I have on, it was cheap and it fit, is the only reason I bought it.  Thursday the daytime temp did not reach 45, and the wind was howling at times, but we tough it out and played.  The forecast for Thursday night was to be the coldest in history for that day, with the possibility of snow.  Folks, only Terry and I were brave enough to play.  The overnight temp dropped to 17 degrees, and it did snow in Myrtle Beach, it was only a dusting, but the fact remains it snowed, and like dumb asses Terry and I tried to play. It was only 28 degrees when Terry and I teed off.  I lasted 12 holes and Terry lasted 17.  I was sitting in the club house working on my third hot chocolate when Terry dragged his ass in.  It was decided at that moment that there would be no more February golf in Myrtle Beach, and there wasn’t.

Every year after the Hurl Rock I was teased about the accommodations.  And I got no mercy at all, but the reality was the Hurl Rock sucked and I deserved it, but really for 10 years LOL give me a break.

For those of you that made it to the bitter end thank you, this turned out much longer than I thought, and I could have made you suffer more.  But enough is enough.  As always if you have any questions concerns or comments please feel free to ask.  Take care and be safe.  Bill

 

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How I Feel for the Week Ending 6.13.14…

Smiling, just like last week I am starting my report around noon. It would appear that I am a creature of habit LOL LOL, which isn’t always a bad thing.  It has been a wet dreary day here in not so sunny Florida during the last 24 hours we have had close to 4 inches of rain. Today our music selections begin with “Bully” by Shinedown, to fully appreciate Shinedown you must listen at 7 or 8.   Staying with a recent trend I feel the week has been a 2.75, not quite as strong as last week’s 2.75, but not enough difference to drop it any lower.

Over the past week I have been extremely careful not to stand over the grill inhaling the wonderful aroma of burgers and marinated chicken cooking, with the smoke being provided by the 80/20 lean beef burgers.

Doctor appointment wise it has been a busy week.  I met with Doc Head Monday and it was as always a productive meeting. Then on Tuesday I met with the Head RN for the Hospice Team that manages my health.  I thought (and it had been implied) that this was the meeting to determine if I were progressing towards end of retirement in a timely enough manner to stay under Hospice. Well it wasn’t really that meeting; the Head Nurse is required to visit each patience within her teams’ care on a periodic basis.  Smiling “she had heard so much about me,” she felt it was time we met.  When will I learn to just shut the f…… up LOL?  All kidding aside it was a very through 1st meeting. She visited with me for over 90 minutes, very engaging (as I have found most of the Hospice folks) and when it was over I asked her if this was in fact the meeting to determine if I were still a candidate for Hospice care.  Her response was that while this had not been the official meeting for such a determination, it was clear that I would be staying with the program.  Sidebar, we have been listening to a variety of hard rock so far, including Van Halen, Stone Temple Pilots, more Shinedown, Nickelback (for my Canadian friends) and Puddle of Mudd. Finally on Thursday I had my normal weekly meeting with the Hospice, this appointment when as expected and all my vitals were drawn from it.

This, like last week and the week before, my general health remains approximately the same. The coughing is about the same, tiredness seems normal this week; SOB better than last week, but I am not standing over a grill LOL.  Sleeping soundly is an issue, but in fairness I have never been a good sleeper, it just seems like in recent months it has gotten more and more erratic, and I am finding I am napping more than ever before in my life, this morning after taking care of the morning rituals and folding the cloths, I looked out the window at the gray ugliness, so I laid down for a couple of hours. 

Let get the vitals out-of-the-way for the week ending 06.13.14

  • INR = 2.3 taken 05.19.14 – next test will be 06.16.14

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 93 taken moments ago,

  •  Peak Flow = 225 taken moments ago

  • BP = 102/62 taken 06.12.14

  • Heart rate = 107 taken moments ago

  • Temp = 98.6 taken 06.12.14

  • Weight = 267 taken 06.13.14 my weight has been all over the place in recent weeks up or down as much as 6 or 7 pounds any given week.  I check my weight at the same approximate time daily. I talked to the Hospice nurse about this, and one of the long-term impacts of the disease is weight lost, soft smile if you can’t breathe it is difficult to eat.  Ergo you diet a natural unnatural way.

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 06.13.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect. This week I have chosen “Therapy” as the word of the week. As I normally do I will start with the dictionary definition for the word.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/therapy

ther·a·py  –  noun – the treatment of physical or mental illnesses

Full Definition of THERAPY :  therapeutic treatment especially of bodily, mental, or behavioral disorder

Examples of THERAPY

            1. He is undergoing cancer therapy.

            2. talking over my problem with you has been good therapy.

Origin of THERAPY

New Latin therapia, from Greek therapeia, from therapeuein

First Known Use: circa 1846

Before I started “therapy” I had no feeling about it one way or the other.  There was no negative stigma I ever associated with “therapy” my feelings were and still are simple; if you needed it you needed it.  Kinda like a pill, if you have to take it, take it.  But since I have been it I have found I have very real feelings about therapy.  I could never be a therapist; I would never want to be a therapist. I understand more than ever some folks are deeply troubled; some not so troubled, and still others that are a mixed bag.  My 1st experience with a therapist was an effort on my part to find out about the dying process, especially for a person such as myself who had a terminal disease that slowly killed you.  I had 2 sessions with that therapist, and I truly believed she answered my question within the 1st 20 minutes of our conversation.  Being honest I didn’t bond with her, and one of us had an agenda that didn’t seem to be in my interests.  But I did go back for a second session, same net result, but I left satisfied that I had the answer I sought.

Some 12 months or so after my initial experience, I was troubled, and again sought out therapy.  My Health Coach did the research and kinda sorta recommended Doc Head.  She wouldn’t and couldn’t push me towards a particular Doctor; she just laid out the info.  One of the single biggest aspects of the decision process was that Doc Head’s office was about 7 minutes away if I took my time.  Decision made, appointment made, and the rest is history.  I have been seeing Doc Head for over a year and not one moment has been wasted.  For those who have been following me for any length at all knows I am an open person, and will talk about anything.  But damn was I quick to open up to Doc Head.

I am not sitting here saying everyone needs a therapist, or that everyone needs therapy, but I am saying is that for those of us who do admit to a need, it is great experience.  To be able to vocalize thoughts, and not just let them spin around in your head is worth the price of admission.  To be able to say just about anything you want and not have someone judge you, to be as totally honest as you want and need (as long as you stay honest), to be able to talk about your pains, your disappointments, your needs, your wants, your desires and to be able to do so out loud, so not only does someone else hear them, but you hear those words, those thoughts, those needs, wants, and those desires aloud.  Trust me, they sound a lot different verbalized than they do rolling around in your head.  And as you verbalize there is someone 4 feet away asking you what makes you feel this way or that, they aren’t judging, yes they may be digging, but it has been my experience that sometimes you have to dig to get to an issue.  Smiling, sometimes Doc Head will just sit and knot her head, encouraging me to finish a thought, or come to a conclusion, or realize that what I am yapping about isn’t really the issue at all, but it could be the conversation starter that leads to the issue.  Also I have learned that not all issues are problems and that not all problems come from the issues you present. The best thing about therapy is it allows you to get things off your chest, but be warned sometimes the things you get off your chest find their own replacements.

Also there is joy to be found in therapy, it is the perfect place for me to brag, I love writing my blog. I love the thought that my words may have reached out and helped an individual, I can share stories about folks who have come to me and said “thank you” for this story, or this hambit of information, or how I helped them cope.  And when doing so I don’t need to feel modest, I don’t worry about sounding like a braggart, I even allow my head to swell with pride when I talk about the positive things my blog gives me, and the love I have for my  fellow bloggers.  I can and do talk of the pure joy it is receiving the wonderful positive feedback I have gotten.  Smiling and my therapist doesn’t even look like she is tired of hearing it LOL.

Of course you can say something stupid like your planning on taking someone out, but as soon as you do the Doc will drop a dime on you.  You can talk about a plan to commit suicide, again the Doctor will drop a dime on you and measures will be taken to prevent such actions.  There are laws that require a therapist to advise authorities if you’re planning such actions.  I am sure there are therapists that are trained specifically to deal with situations like these.

Okay I have bent your ear as long and as hard as I can for this post.  As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 

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Our First Halloween…. A Treasure Box Story

Halloween has been a special holiday for kids and adults alike.  In both cases it is celebrated in costume and over indulgence. This is a Halloween story about kids, in particular my daughter Allison’s first where she was going to be the one going to the door, ringing the bell, and saying “Trick or Treat.”  She knew those words were the key, and she truly understood the concept of tons of candy. This was also the first year that Allison understood the concept of a costume, and voiced a significant rant in what she wanted to be. Smiling, she chose to be a cowboy, not a cowgirl, but a cowboy.    In the past she had always gone as a princess, or lady bug, (actually that sums up her past Halloween experiences) and the reality was Allison didn’t really have a say. Steph and I had chosen what she was going to be, and Allison didn’t argue, smiling, she really didn’t understand the concept.  Her prior experience with Halloween was to put on something funny (and most likely she didn’t realize it was funny)  and take a walk collecting stuff her parents ate. Also it was just a walk around the block with Mom or Dad or both, at every open door hold out her bag, maybe mumble something, and an adult would put candy in the bag.  A kid’s concept of heaven I am sure.  I think preschool was a real boost to her Halloween educational process.

For the kids the Halloween costume is something they either painstakingly pick out and create or have their parents do all the work, by either going to the store buying the costume and making the necessary adjustments or by creating something from the tons of cloths and stuff around the house.  Allison is pictured here in her cowboy costume, barely able to contain herself, and about 45 minutes after we got her dressed and the makeup refined to something that Allison could/would tolerate.

Revised Makeup LOL

Revised Makeup LOL 

 Smiling, the effort we put ourselves thru for our lovely children. 

This is round two for the makeup.  Being honest this is 30 years ago Allison was probably 4 or 5. Not the sweet looking cowpoke she looks like in the picture. And you can’t even see the gunbelt she had on.  We couldn’t get a shot of her in the original pre-toned down cowboy make-up, because Allison wasn’t having it. During the first application of makeup, Steph had her more made up as a rough and tumble kinda cowboy, the beard was fuller and not a goatee, the mustache deeper, the eyebrows more arched and much darker. And I think there may have been a scar or two.  I know Steph put a ton of effort into this costume, and even more time and energy putting that makeup on Allison.  

When I carried her to the bathroom, and Steph and I 1st showed Allison her appearance, she totally freaked out, she when totally bonkers, screaming, crying, trying to get out of my hands, looking in the mirror moaning, wanting to know WHO’S THAT, screaming that’s not me. Allison was having nothing to do with the Cowboy she saw in the mirror and she was PISSED because her DAD was smiling and so proud and lovingly at the cowboy.  It was truly like a small thermo nuclear device had gone off in the bathroom.  It took 20 minutes to remove the original makeup and get her calm enough to try again.  If you look closely at the picture, you can kinda tell she is still not comfortable.  But the power of persuasion is amazing.  We told Allison no makeup, no trick or treating.  That was the final hurdle we needed to get over and it worked.  It also helped significantly when everyone we encountered told Allison she looked like a great Cowboy.

I will be going thru the photo albums, and picking out single pictures to share a “Treasure Box” story.  Some will be purely for Cari’s entertainment; others will be for my entertainment.  But no matter when you see them I hope you’re entertained.

As always if you have any questions, comments or concerns please feel free to ask.  Take care Bill

 

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A Lifetime in Reynoldsville PA, a lifetime ago… A Grandpa Tale

When I have written posts in the past I will sometimes say “There’s a story in there someplace.”   On July 27, 2012 I posted a post titled “The Places I have lived.” Quite the original title, but I think back upon that post and remember that there were additional posts to be written. This will be one of them.  The entire text of the time I lived in Reynoldsville is offered here, and as you can see there isn’t much to go on.  But I am going to make an effort to expound on that simple paragraph.  Hopefully you and my granddaughter Cari will enjoy reading it.  Because it’s for Cari that I write lots of these stories. 

“Next stop Reynoldsville PA.  Reynoldsville is a coal mining town just north and east of Pittsburgh, we lived there 1 winter. The house was coal heated, and Stephen King could have written about it in many of his more scary novels.  I do have fond memories of sled riding during that winter, and a school trip we made to Washington DC to visit the national museum’s that was cool. Began the 4th grade here.” 

If we were sitting around bull shitting, and I began to speak of the time I lived in Reynoldsville, PA, my memory would span a year.  But the reality is that the family moved to 937 Grant Street, Reynoldsville PA in September 1959 and departed for Norwalk, Conn. in February 1960.  The address is of no importance other to mention it was 2 downhill blocks away from Main Street. It was a 6 month period that was a lifetime to a 10-year-old. 

Here is some current information regarding Reynoldsville it has a population of 2,730 folks of which almost 52 pct are women.  So it must be good for guys looking for a date.  The median resident age is slightly over 37, I would be one of the curve busters there LOL. The town of Reynoldsville is located approximately 75 or so miles (depending on the map) northeast of Pittsburgh.  The prime industries have been coal mining, lumber, and tanning.  The borough of Reynoldsville had originally been an Indian village, with the last of Indians moving on in 1824.  In the 1830’s the Reynolds moved to the area.  The name of Reynoldsville was confirmed by the Post Office Department in 1850.

I guess this has been plenty of setup to speak of 2 events that live on and on in my mind.  Again I was 10 years old when I lived there.  My granddaughter just celebrated her 9th birthday.  Because these events remain so familiar to me, I wonder what events are shaping Cari memories.  I wonder what memories Cari will have 55 years from how to share with her grandchildren.  I wonder if she will still have this blog to share with those grandchildren when she speaks of her grandfather.   Soft smile, I really hope she does speak of me.

Anyway moving on.  The first event was a school sponsored field trip to Washington DC to visit the museums.  I have no idea how much money my folks had to shell out for this trip but it was a one day event.  It started at the butt crack of dawn, and was over close to midnight that day.  At the time I could not be accused of having patience, so I am sure I must have driven someone crazy asking “are we there yet?”  Sidebar; I have had the headphones pounding in my ears since I started and the IPod is set to random.  Just so you “Kid Rock” is now screaming in my ears, but I have heard Creed, Toby Keith, Cream, Sting, CSN, Aretha Franklin, DH Hughley, Eric Clapton, Johnny Lang, Travis Tritt, SRV, Buddy Guy, Koko Taylor, Moody Blues, AC/DC, Jimi Hendrix, Melissa Etheridge, and of course Nickelback to just name a few. The things I clearly remember seeing are the Washington Monument, the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, Smithsonian Institutes’ Castle, The Capital Building and the Whitehouse.  I remember that the bulk of time was spent at the Castle.  I do remember standing at the very foot of Lincoln and being not much taller than his shoe, I also remember playing on the steps to the Capital Building. And I suspect if I were playing on the steps at some point a chaperon told me to stop. I know we did not go into either the Capital Building or the Whitehouse. Those are the sum total of my memories of that field trip.  One of the reasons it must stand out, is because it was by far the most significant field trip I ever went on throughout my schooling.  I was fortunate enough to end up working in Washington DC some 20 years after this field trip, and lived in the area for the next 30 years.  During the course of those years, I visited every building on the Mall more than twice, except the Holocaust Museum which I only visited once. That single visit could be a post by itself; it was the most moving 3 hours I can remember.

The second memorable event to take place while I lived in Reynoldsville was sled riding on a public street.

I have no idea how it came about, so what I am about to say is pure conjecture on my part.  But this conjecture is based on the fact that the cross streets were closed (Willow and Main) and blocked, no cars were part on 10th Street (the hill), and transportation was provided back to the top of the hill.  It only happened one time during the period we lived there, but again, I suspect it might have been part of some annual event because it was just too organized. The run started at the Top of 10th Street, and ran for 2 blocks, where the road leveled at Main.  Something had been done to the snow at Main because you just quickly slowed to a stop.  You and your sled were loaded up and taken back up the hill, for another run.  I know dad and I did one run together, and I believe he allowed me to do a couple more by myself, and I am sure he did more than that by himself; he was only 35 at the time.  Hot chocolate and coffee were served, and I am sure something stronger would have been available.  I know we moved on shortly after this event.  LOL I don’t want you to think we were nomads, at this time my Dad was a store manager for McCory’s 5 & 10.  He would be sent to a store that was in “trouble” and stay long enough to get it back on its feet, and then management would move him on to the next store.   I would also hazard to guess that this could never happen in this day and age because of insurance, community groups, safety, and expenses.  The new order at work. LOL

Folks that sums up an expanded version of the time I lived in Reynoldsville PA.  Cari, I hope you enjoyed the story.

As usual folks, if you have any questions, thoughts, concerns or comments please feel free to ask.  Take care, Bill    

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2014 in Grandpa Stories, Humor, Ramblings

 

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Happy Mother’s Day

Good Morning, and Happy Mother’s Day

Each morning as I take my meds, I sit and respond to the many notes, comments, posts, or other mails that fill my in box like pedals of (fill in the blank).  I respond directly and on target to what I have read or thought I read, or answer a specific question. But today is special, and in my responses I failed to take the time in each response to say Happy Mother’s Day in some of my responses. So I want to take a moment and extend to each of you mothers a wish for a wonderful day, filled with love and joy, a warm smile, a tender kiss, and the thought in your heart that you did good.  

Mom’s we love you, we thank you, we will never forget you.

Love Bill

 
19 Comments

Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Grandpa Stories, Observations, Ramblings

 

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How I Feel for the Week Ending 05/09/14

For the week ending 05.09.14 this report will undoubtable be late, but it will be coming from my home and under the influence of my music.  Sidebar, it is one of those days, and I started the music with Vince Gill’s “Go Rest High on the Mountain.” Smiling I am in a Country Music kinda mood, so we have moved on to Big & Rich’s “Why does everyone want to kick my ass”.  We are out of the hotel, and have been since Wednesday evening, and Lord to I appreciate being home, in my own bed, my own shower, and my frig!! It is so refreshing to be home.  The wife is tickled to death with the new floor, and we all know happy wife = happy home.  The oral surgery went well (on Tuesday), and the offending tooth pulled, and have only a slight bit of post extraction pain, so little in fact I have only taken one pain pill in the last 24 hours.  If I live to be a 100 I might end up with dentures. LOL LOL. The only other appointment I had this week was with Doc Head, it is nice to have someone who you can completely bare your soul and inner thoughts without fear of repercussions.  Oh it appears that Hospice day will be on Thursdays.  They will come once a week to check me out, they take all vitals, make sure all my prescriptions are up to date and that I have enough to get thru the weekend at a minimum, ask several questions regarding my general health, and then out the door.  Hospice will take care of all my medical needs that I need that relate directly to my COPD.  They won’t supply medicines that may deal with other medical conditions.  Sidebar, we just listened to Toby Keith’s “I’ll never smoke weed with Willy again.” Smiling, fun song. All things considered, tooth pulled, living in a hotel, managing the contractor replacing the floor, and putting up with the Florida heat and humidity I am going to give the week a very solid 2.75.  The other reason the week gets a 2.75 is because very little else has changed, the coughing is about normal, tiredness about the same, and the respiration’s are staying above 20 + breathes a minute, which makes the heart work harder.

Let get the vitals out-of-the-way for the week ending 05.09.14

  • INR = 2.1 taken 04/08/14 – next INR reading scheduled for 05.12.14

  • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 95 taken on 05.08.14 – I would say spot checking my O2 level this week has found on average about 91/92 range.

  • Peak Flow = 215 taken 05.08.14

  • BP = 122/64 taken 05.08.14

  • Heart rate = 122 taken 05.08.14

  • Temp = 98.7 taken 05.08.14

  • Weight = 268 taken 05.09.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 05.09.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect.  This week we are going to talk about Expectations.  We all have expectations that we impose upon ourselves and those others have in us, today I would like to talk about those expectations.  As normal we will start with the web dictionary definition of the word:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/expectation

ex·pec·ta·tion  — noun  1. the act or the state of expecting: to wait in expectation. 2. the act or state of looking forward or anticipating. 3. an expectant mental attitude: a high pitch of expectation. 4. something expected; a thing looked forward to. 5. Often, expectations. a prospect of future good or profit: to have great expectations

Of all of the definitions I have drawn from the Internet to use for this part of my post, this definition is one of the clearest to date.  It is safe to say that each of us with a life threatening disease face two prime points of expectations. One; those expectations that come from within ourselves, those we think and feel when we look in the mirror or set about doing a task, or two; those expectations that others have for us.  This second group of expectations is a whole big can of worms in and of itself and I will talk to that next week.  But the simplest way to address those expectations is to say FUCK THEM, but I will get into that further next week.

As kids when we do something successfully, we anticipate being able to do that again and again and again.  Once that accomplishment registers in our head it stays there forever.  We from that day forward, always have the expectation that we will always have that same level of success whenever we attempt that activity. Experience and effort, coupled with a level of success establishes expectations in our head. Sidebar: we have been listening to Travis Tritt, Trace Akins {(This ain’t no) thinkin thing}, Dixie Chicks, Lucinda Williams (Change the Locks), Garth Brooks (Friends in Low Places), and Gretchen Wilson, to name a few. The problem is that sometimes I listen and sing instead of typing. We experience in so many things, from school work, to sports, cooking, yard work, building things, carrying or lifting different levels of weight, and on and on.  Through our accomplishments and experience we find that doing things will take this level of effort and this amount of time.  That activity could be doing the laundry, cooking dinner, doing the dishes, cutting the grass, folding cloths, walking down the street, yard work, and all other manner of daily household chore or projects.  Again success breeds expectations. 

Soft smile, the aging process is a marathon not a sprint.  As we age, we gracefully and gradually come to conclusion that the process does impact our expectations, but because acceptance happens steadily over an extended period we softly slip into a lower level of self-expectations. This in my opinion is nature’s way, the way it is supposed to be.  We turn around and look the majority of our counterparts and we see the same process is taking place in them as that we see in the mirror, and because of this we collectively are okay and accepting of the process.

But when you are terminally ill this process seems to be in overdrive.  Tasks that we would have done without breaking into a sweat 2 or 3 years ago (longer or shorter depending on you), we now have to take break after break after break to accomplish. Some tasks we don’t even bother with because we may not have the breath or stamina to complete. Some of us (especially me) are embarrassed easy when we (I) don’t have the ware for all to complete a task. Sidebar: for all my great Canadian friends, I have switched gears and now have Nickelback blasting in my head LMAO, because I try to keep my posts at the PG-13 level I can’t even tell you the names of most of my favorite Nickelback songs LOLBut I am here to tell you we need to get over it, and we have to acknowledge the fact that we do need to lower our personal expectations.  We need to come to grips with the fact that our diseases have robbed us of the capabilities we once had.  To acknowledge this doesn’t mean we send out the invitations to the pity party.  It means that if we had the expectation to complete a task in 15 minutes and it now takes 30 minutes, then damn it, it takes 30 minutes. But by completing the task we have met the expectation, and this my friends is a moral and physical victory. I started this post last night around 11pm.  It is now Saturday, but since I started today I have, made the bed, emptied the dish washer, when out to breakfast, and stopped at the grocery store. Not even mentioning a bunch of little crap kinda things. I will admit that I am a bit tired, but I met my expectations.  Years ago I would not have budgeted as much time, and I sure would not have inserted as many breaks into the completion of these tasks that I have.   

Changing your personal expectations is nothing to be ashamed of it’s no reason to hold your head down. It is terrible unfair of you to hold yourself to self-imposed expectations that will disappoint yourself when you don’t complete them. BTW everyplace you see a “you” I am talking about me, if it applies to you, apply it.  COPD has robbed me of many things, and it will end up shortening my life by many years.  But I will not let self-imposed expectations which I fail to meet drag me into a deep dark hole.  I would suggest you don’t let it drag you into a hole either.

Next week I will talk about the expectations other TRY to impose upon us.  I suspect it will be just as emotional as this. 

As always if you have any questions, concerns, or comments please feel free to bring to my attention, I will answer as completely and honestly as possible. Please take care, Bill

 

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It’s just another Chapter….. a Grandpa Tale

Last week in my weekly “How I Feel… (5.2.14)” post I announced that because of the advanced stage of my COPD, that I was now under the direct care of Hospice. As you know I have made no secret regarding my fight against COPD, reporting weekly on my current health. I have spoken at length regarding exacerbation and hospitalizations, the drugs that have been prescribed and the dosages. I have given every possible vital sign that I have had. All in the name of keeping folks informed. And that really is what this is all about. It has been my supreme hope that my words have given some folks a level of comfort. Through my honest “tell all” approach, I hoped I have in some way answered some of the many unasked questions. 

When I started this blog it was going to be my soapbox from which I preached about COPD, smiling I have done a pretty fair job of preaching and a lot of storytelling to boot. As I review what I have written over the last 2 years, the overall body of work is nothing more than a bunch of chapters about me. What started as a BLOG about COPD became a living autobiography of Bill Hamilton. None of the Chapters are in sequence and some chapters speak to a single incident, others to periods of years, many of the chapters speak specifically to and about COPD. But none the less each post is a chapter in my life.

Folks, my going into Hospice care isn’t by any means the final Chapter. But it will be a chapter that addresses some if not a lot of issues that folks with terminal diseases face at that stage of their life. In many ways I will most likely bore you to tears, and in some cases I will make you shed a tear. And trust me I will make you laugh your ass off from time to time. As I transition towards the “end of retirement” I will share the good and the bad, the stuff that makes me smile, and the things that make my ass burn. Damn I used the word ASS in two sentences in a row that is a new record. And if possible I would want your participation, if you had a specific question I can ask my care givers please feel free to do so, I will get you an answer as best I can. If I don’t explain something or you need additional information please feel free to ask. If you want to know my personal feeling about the treatment, costs, my attitude or whatever please ask. If you don’t want to make your question public email me dealingwithcopd@aol.com and I will respond directly back to you. This will be as much for you as it is for me. Most likely I will give my caregivers names (just as I have used Doc Head, Doc Infectious and Doc Lungs for the past year) so I can talk about them like the real people they are, and the process they are guiding me thru.

Please remember this isn’t my final Chapter, I have a long time to go. I have bunches of stories I need to share about my Daughter, my Granddaughter, my wife, myself and my life. Also trust me I am not going to focalize on Hospice each week. I figure my weekly “How I Feel’s” will pretty much remain the same because even in Hospice, Doc Lungs is still my primary Lung Doc, Doc Infectious is my primary infectious disease doctor, and Doc Head will still be my head doctor. I will still see them on a regular basis, and they will watch out over me when I am hospitalized. But Hospice will also be watching to ensure that just because I am terminal I am not overlooked. I suspect that my posts will be SSDD (same shit different day), they will be a mix of health related posts and Grandpa Tales. When it comes time for that final chapter to be written, it most likely won’t even be written by me. I have asked my daughter to post something, and I am sure at least one other person will write that final post for me. Heck, I may have something in the wings to share as a part of the final post. But remember that is a long way off.

Smiling, moving to a less morbid change of pace, if I every post that I have been kicked out of Hospice put on your dancing shoes and do your happy dance. LMAO being kicked out of Hospice is a treat, it means you’re not succumbing to your disease rapidly enough to require their services, and that folk’s is a good thing.

As always if you have any questions, concern, or thought you want to share please feel free. Take care and have a great day. Bill

 
21 Comments

Posted by on May 8, 2014 in Grandpa Stories, Observations, Ramblings

 

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 It’s a Matter of Music…. A Grandpa Tale

Good morning folks, I hope your Wednesday is starting off great, mine has.  Per my normal daily habit I was up and about at 6ish this morning. I was nebulizing this nebulizing that, and taking the rest of my morning medications.  As usual during this morning ritual, I was scanning my email accounts and Facebook. As I was scanning Facebook, throwing out some likes, I stumbled upon a post by a dear friend (Huntmode). She shared the following YouTube video.

http://www.thisblewmymind.com/street-musician-tipped-girl-happened-next-blew-whole-city-away/?fb_action_ids=10201782776426970&fb_action_types=og.recommends

Of course it was one of those staged flash mob video’s which I truly enjoy, because they just make me so damn happy.  So I am nebulizing and blasting this flash mob video, it comes to an end I am smiling, already it’s a great day, and I begin to explore.  Originally my intent was to find some more orchestra (flash mob) video’s and just sit and immerse myself in some classical music. So I jumped on YouTube, and immediately encountered the 2 Piano Guys, which if you haven’t discovered them I would strongly suggest you give time a listen. I just wasn’t in the mood for the Piano Guys this morning, but…… if you have spent any time on YouTube, on the right side of the page is a column of what could be related or similar video’s kinda if you like this you may like that…   Well I was going down the column and there were a bunch of 2 Cello video’s available, I had never heard of 2Cellos, but I recognized the title of one song from the get go, “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC, and for those that know me, know that AC/DC is one of my favorite bands (maybe you didn’t know cause I do have hundreds of favorite bands), so of course I had to give it a view, and from that view grew this post.

I have attached (besides the inspirational video from Huntmode Facebook post) 5 additional videos from 2Cellos.  Two are from AC/DC, one from Guns & Roses, one from Michael Jackson, and finally one from Jimi Hendrix.  I know as sure as I am sitting in a black chair, in my office, that some of you can’t stand any of the bands I just listed, some of you love all of them, some of you are too young to appreciate Jimi Hendrix, and some of you are a mixture of all of the above, or for that matter none of the above. I know I now have a new appreciation for Guns and Roses LOL.  But if I could beg your indulgence, please do me this one favor and watch the “Thunderstuck” video. Angus Young (lead guitar for AC/DC) must be beside himself.

If you have any level of vivid imagination you can see the roots of rock: hardrock, grudgerock, acidrock, puckrock, in this video and besides it’s just fun, considering the setting, the music and most importantly the audience.  If this is the direction that elevator music is taking, I may ride elevators the rest of my life.

Thunderstuck – AC/DC – as covered by 2Cellos  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3SBzmDxGk

Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze – as covered by 2Cellos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae23y2D8VSI

Welcome to the Jungle – Guns and Roses – as covered by 2Cellos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V7EugoweM4

Highway to Hell – AC/DC – as covered by 2Cellos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfGggAGITwg

Smooth Criminal – Michael Jackson – as covered by 2Cellos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx0xCI1jaUM

Sometimes as adults when we listen to the music our children enjoy we scratch our heads and know exactly why the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Other times we are filled with joy, the fact is, it’s their music.  If for every Foo Fighters, we discover a group like the Piano Guys or 2Cellos, we are all gaining and we are all part of the every growing metamorphosis of music.  I know when I was a kid, my dad had a conniption fit whenever he heard us play the Beatles, or the Rolling Stones, or SteppenWolf (Dad destroyed my copy of their album when he heard the song Pusher Man).  I know I looked at my daughter in sheer wonderment when I found out she enjoyed rap, and even gangster rap, music I detested then and even now, though I will admit I have become a fan of Kid Rock.

Quickly jumping down from my soapbox. The point is I am offering you six videos for your enjoyment, if you don’t like any of them that is your business your choice, and I completely appreciate it.  I get it, I am just saying discovering 2Cellos has made my day, and has satisfied an itch.

As always if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to ask them and as always your comments are greatly appreciated.  Thanks Bill

 

 

 

 
29 Comments

Posted by on April 9, 2014 in Grandpa Stories, Humor, Music, Observations, Ramblings

 

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How I Feel for the Week ending 04/04/14……

For the week ending 04.04.14 I am actually starting this post in a timely manner, that’s not to say that it will be finished in a timely manner.  The memory of Louisville’s lost to Kentucky has not completely faded and I am not watching anymore of the NCAA tournament in fear that Kentucky may actually win if I watch. I am just saying that my 2 favorite college basketball teams are Univ of Louisville and any team beating the univ of kentucky.  Sidebar, we are starting today with Eric Clapton, from his blue’z times.  SOB continues to be the overriding health issue, also this week I felt I was in the beginning stages of another exacerbation and I was greatly concerned (and still am to somewhat lessor degree).  I did see the nurse yesterday, my lungs are clear, and the drippy nose, the nagging non-productive cough and the scratchy eyes are the result of the damn pollen.  But as anyone with COPD or for that matter any respiratory ailment will attest, these symptoms always cause great concern. My general health is okay, no aches or pains and I survived the dentist last week without even getting a lecture. As stated the most significant issue of the week has been the pollens, and the concern that caused me. Given all the relevant information I am going to rate the week a strong 2.5, or to please some of my readers a very very weak 2.75, you choose.  It’s really only slightly down from last week, but laughing it has been a difficult couple weeks.  All things considered when I woke this morning, I knew I was going to have a GREAT DAY!

Last week I spoke briefly of attempting to add mental health into the evaluation for the weekly rating and I am still pondering that. Sidebar, this talk of mental health has had me reach for Sarah McLachlan, go figure (but she has such a beautiful voice).   As most of you have long figured out I am the eternal optimist, and that alone has helped me so much over my lifetime, but even more so in recent years since I have fought this battle with COPD.  If my weekly rating were solely based on mental health (attitude) they would be around 4.5 on a regular basis, because to my knowledge there is only 1 perfect individual. 

Let get the vitals out of the way for the week ending 04.04.14

    • INR = 2.0 taken 03/24/14 – next INR reading scheduled for 04.08.14
    • O2 level @ 2.5 LPM = 96 taken on 04.04.14  
    • Peak Flow = 220 taken 04.04.14
    • BP = 127/86 taken 04.03.14
    • Heart rate = 108 taken 04.04.14
    • Temp = 97.9 taken 04.04.14
    • Weight = 271.5 taken 04.03.14

So ends the technical aspect of my “How I Feel This Week” report for the week ending 4.04.14, moving now to the word of the week discussion aspect.  This week I have chosen Attitude. The definition used in today’s post comes to us via http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/attitude

ATTITUDE — noun —1. manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind: a negative attitude; group attitudes.  2.position or posture of the body appropriate to or expressive of an action, emotion, etc.: a threatening attitude; a relaxed attitude.

As much as I would love to share my attitude with everyone facing the challenges this and other terminal diseases brings to you, I can’t but I can and will be your biggest cheerleader, I can and will be the one patting you on the back telling you what a great job you’re doing and to keep it up. Sidebar, moving swiftly away from Sarah we are now enjoying some SRV (Stevie Ray Vaughan) “Crossfire.”   I will be there to pick you up when you fall.  I also believe that attitudes can be changed. But like any other bad habit, changing your attitude takes work.  Smiling I have an abundance good attitude and if I could I would give you some of mine, but (smiling) you really need to want it.

As you know attitude comes from within. But no matter what your, going in attitude is, I think it is something you can improve.  When I played golf I sucked, oh I wasn’t terrible (well maybe a bit terrible), but it didn’t matter to me if I shot 83 (my career best), or 120+, I always found one shot that was good enough to bring a smile to my lips and reason to come back again.  A dear friend on the DS group used to post every day the one thing she found that gave her a reason to be thankful.  By her admission it helped her greatly. I always admired those posts.   Finding that little thing, or that point to be happy are small steps, but they build and build, and as they do so, so does your good attitude.  Clearly this is an over simplification, but it is a start.  But conversely if you have a bad attitude, no matter what you do that attitude shows thru, it shows in your conversation, it shows in your walk, it shows in your illness.  Sidebar, we have moved on to Toby Keith’s “How do you like me now?” We are finishing up our time with Toby with “Weed with Willie.”  And have moved on to Aretha Franklin, Brooks and Dunn, Matchbox 20, and Creed. Maybe I have spent so much talking attitude because mine has been down slightly these last 2 weeks but I see it on the rebound, just talking about it in this manner is a boost. Sidebar, I have my music on the “Random” selection I just went from Lewis Black to AC/DC to Five Finger Death Punch, tell me that won’t perk you up.  Of course you do need to like this stuff!  Okay okay, back to the point, Attitude will carry you.  And you don’t even have to be sick.  A smile and polite word will always get you more than a displayed crappy attitude.  If your attitude needs correction, take it in small steps.  Cause folks notice, 1st curb the old, heck it might even do you good to admit you know you have a shitty attitude and you are working to change it, so a little patience during the process will help. And yes during the change you will display some of that old attitude, smile acknowledge it, and keeping working on it.   If you have a good attitude great!! Smiling we need to work on that as well.  I just think the process is easier, if you’re starting with a good foundation.

Okay folks, most of you are saying he is just typing to be typing.  I will bring this t o an end with the Eagles blasting away.  I hope you have a great weekend.  If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to ask, if you want to comment those are appreciated as well.  Take care, Bill

 

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